2023 Boundaries Group

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Boundaries Group

Come learn how to set boundaries with your parents, spouse, children, friends, coworkers, social media, and even yourself. You’ll discover firsthand how sound boundaries give you the freedom to walk as loving, giving, fulfilled individual God created you to be.

A Note from the Director Regarding Coronavirus

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To our Cornerstone Family and Followers:

Cornerstone Family Services has been monitoring the Coronavirus situation carefully, and it is our goal to maintain a safe and healthy environment for our clients and clinicians alike. We have implemented common sense measures at our facility to help meet the highest standards possible.

We understand the importance of consistent and continuing behavioral healthcare for those experiencing emotional pain and acknowledge the additional distress being caused for many due to the Coronavirus outbreak and its social and economic impact. This is a time of rapid change and uncertainty which can add to anxiety, stress, and isolation. Please know that Cornerstone Family Services is here to serve and to help those in need.

In that light, and so that we can continue to maintain a healthy environment, we respectfully request our clients adhere to the following guidelines:

  • If you or someone you live with has experienced flu symptoms, please reschedule for at least 3 weeks. Many of our counselors and coaches have the necessary qualifications to meet remotely. Consult with your counselor or coach as to whether this is a possibility if you meet the above criteria.
  • Please communicate directly with your counselor or coach as to how they are addressing the Coronavirus situation within their individual practice, and any concerns or questions you might have.

For guidance on how to deal with the stress and emotional impact of Coronavirus, we would like to share some excellent recommendations in an excerpt from the article “Coping With Stress During the Season of the Coronavirus” , by Elisa Joy Seibert, Ph.D., M.Div.:

Things you can do to support yourself:

  • Avoid excessive exposure to media coverage of COVID-19.
  • Take care of your body. Take deep breaths, stretch or meditate. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep and avoid alcohol and drugs.
  • Make time to unwind and remind yourself that strong feelings will fade. Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories. It can be upsetting to hear about the crisis and see images repeatedly. Try to do some other activities you enjoy to return to your normal life.
  • Connect with others. Share your concerns and how you are feeling with a friend or family member. Maintain healthy relationships.
  • Maintain a sense of hope and positive thinking.

Share the facts about COVID-19 and the actual risk to others. People who have returned from areas of ongoing spread more than 14 days ago and do not have symptoms of COVID-19 do not put others at risk.

  1. While the world is talking about “social distancing”, EFT trainer Jim Thomas is renaming it as “physical distancing” since we don’t want to distance ourselves from each other’s hearts. Now more than ever we need to be here for each other. We will not survive this ALONE. We will survive it TOGETHER! As you follow appropriate physical precautions, don’t let that lead you to distance your heart and withdraw into fear. See this video of how some lovely Italian
    communities are using music and singing to connect with each other and break the isolation:
  2. Validate. Validate. Validate. Validate yourself and each other, including fears. Be present. There are real reasons you (and others) feel the way you do.
  3. Listen in to how you are feeling. What is that feeling saying to you? If you see that part of yourself as a friend that is seeking to care for you and needs to be heard right now, what is it saying you need? Honor it. Find a way to care for it, hold it, soothe it, and respond.
  4. Name your fears. “Naming is containing” (Kathryn Rheem).
  5. Find ways and places to process your fears. As Dr. Kathryn Rheem says, “Unprocessed fear moves under the surface and tweaks behavior.” We need to find places and safe people with whom to process our fears. Holding the fears alone will only grow anxiety in us. Bringing them out into the light, naming them, and processing them with a safe other will help them be released AND we will feel less alone! That leads to the next point….
  6. Find meaningful and safe ways to connect with those who bring you life. “Isolation is inherently traumatizing to the human brain” (Rheem), so make sure to lean in, connect, reach, and respond to each other. We WILL survive this virus, and we will survive it better if we stay connected! This includes leaning into your faith supports, if those are important to you.
  7. Seek healthy, safe, physical touch with those you love. While keeping in mind appropriate handwashing and germ reduction protocols, we do well to remember what James Coan’s hand holding study teaches us … that the hand of our loved one “calms jittery neurons” in our brain (which we are probably all needing these days!), as well as the truth that a hug releases oxytocin which calms us. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, in summarizing Coan’s study, “The people we love … are the hidden regulators of our bodily processes and our emotional lives” (Hold Me Tight (2008), 26).
  8. Open your eyes to those around you and the needs around you. How might you be a gift to another human in this season of global stress? While we are all too aware of the negative stories on the news, we could be part of the stories around the globe of good will and kindness which can be the answer to another’s prayer.
  9. Do the things that bring you life and joy! Do you like to create? Then create! Do you like to pet your animals? Then pet them! Do you like to go for walks or a good run or hike? Then move and let the fresh air fill your lungs and the scenes of trees and creeks remind you that life is good and there is plenty in this world to enjoy and center us.
  10. Spend time outside in nature. It is grounding, centering, and soothing.
  11. Incorporate music in your day. Listen to your favorite music, play an instrument, sing, release the stress! Music really helps with expressing, soothing, and shifting emotions.
  12. Keep healthy routines and structure in your lives. We all function better with regular wake/sleep cycles and predictability in our days. Notice and pat yourself on the back for the
    small accomplishments each day: “I made my bed!” etc.
  13. Exercise, even a brisk walk, adds oxygen to our brains to help us think more clearly and releases endorphins to help us feel better.
  14. Eat balanced diets.
  15. Drink lots of water and healthy fluids.
  16. Get plenty of rest. We all function better when we are well rested.
  17. And remember to lean in, lean in, lean in to those who are safe havens in your life! We all function better TOGETHER!

Six Signs That You Are a High Functioning Alcoholic

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Six Signs That You Are a High Functioning Alcoholic

By Ashwood Recovery at NorthPoint

Alcoholism and alcohol abuse present myriad of social, psychological and physical problems, particularly for so-called high functioning alcoholics. More than any other drug, alcohol presents a unique dilemma to those who drink it. In other words, it can sometimes be difficult to clearly see whether or not the line from moderate drinking to problem drinking has been crossed.

Problem drinking can become increasingly severe, giving way to an alcohol use disorder (AUD) as defined by the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders:

“Approximately 7.2 percent or 17 million adults in the United States ages 18 and older had an AUD in 2012. This includes 11.2 million men and 5.7 million women. The severity of an AUD – mild, moderate, or severe – is based on the number of criteria met.”

These criteria include everything from spending a lot of time drinking, to continuing to drink alcohol even though it brings about depressed or anxious feelings, to alcohol causing problems with family or friends.

Under this definition, some people may think that alcoholism takes a specific form and may, therefore, look a certain way. However, some people who struggle with addiction to alcoholism are able to cover up the external signs of this alcoholism – these individuals are known as high functioning alcoholics.

For the further information, go to the original article.

If you would like help dealing with your or a family member’s alcoholism, please feel free to give CornerStone Family Services a call at 614-459-3003.

Balancing Your Head and Heart: What to Do If You Are a Sympathizer

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Balancing Your Head and Heart: What to Do If You Are a Sympathizer

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Natural sympathizers tend to find themselves rushing to the aid of their others, whether it is asked for or not. After all, people with sympathetic personalities are more inclined to let their feelings guide them. Their hearts often take precedence over their heads.

However, when it comes to a relationship you need to be sure your sympathy is warranted so you don’t smother your partner. Today, we are discussing ways you can balance your head and your heart, and when it’s best to dive into action.

For the full article, go here.

If you would like help with your relationship or marriage, please contact one of our counselors or life coaches at 614-459-3003.

Fighting Fair

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Fighting Fair 

By Tim and Joy Downs

Pick out a board game—any game will do. Now take off the lid, turn it over, and search for these words:

“Roll the dice to see who goes first. Play proceeds clockwise … ” All games include directions to make sure everyone knows whose turn it is. But conflict, as you recall, is a game without rules. In a disagreement it isn’t always easy to know who goes first, who comes next, and who just got left out.

There’s a simple set of instructions that can help create order out of this chaos. In the game of conflict, the order of play goes like this: Listen long; then speak short—and don’t forget to pass the dice.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It’s not. Being a good listener is hard. When you do it right, the game proceeds nicely and both of you get to play; when you spend too much time speaking to listen well, each of you thinks it’s his turn and both players are scrambling for the dice.

Here are some helpful suggestions about listening to improve the order of play in your next disagreement.

For the full article, check out the original blog post.

If you would like help in your marriage or relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.

An Open Letter to the Parent of a Strong-Willed Child

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An Open Letter to the Parent of a Strong-Willed Child

by Sam Crabtree

Dear weary parent,

Few things are as burdensome to a parent than a pattern of a small child’s growing reluctance to cooperate with you. Such ache can reflect loving concern for the child. My heart goes out to you in this difficulty.

I’ve heard parents say things like, “I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options. No approach seems to work. I’ve tried praying with him. I’ve tried appealing to his conscience. I’ve tried time-outs, and various consequences. . . and it just seems like things don’t get better, but worse. I’m very weary and discouraged. And weary. Did I mention weary?”

Consider these six things:

First, God himself faces strong-willed children all the time in his own family. All we, like strong-willed sheep, have gone astray.

Let us be careful about singling out the strong-willed child as though his will is more corrupt than ours. The will is strong in everyone, not only in “strong-willed” youngsters. We all want our way. Our children are cut from the same fabric as we. We are all born sinners, including your young child.

And let us be careful to discern. On one hand, dogged determination can be good and very useful in overcoming obstacles later in life. Strong-willed children may have leadership potential. On the other hand, stubborn defiance is bad. Distinguish! There is a difference between precocious and obnoxious. Is the child amazingly focused, or is he overbearing, defiant, rude, pushy, and belligerently demanding?

For the full article go to the original blog post.

If you would like help with parenting, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our excellent life coaches or counselors.

Most U.S. kids not meeting sleep, exercise and screen time targets

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Most U.S. kids not meeting sleep, exercise and screen time targets

By Lisa Rapaport

Just one in 20 U.S. children and teens gets the amount of sleep, exercise and screen time that doctors recommend for optimal health, a new study suggests.

Children and teens are supposed to get at least one hour of moderate to vigorous physical activity each day and limit screen time to less than two hours. Kids ages 6 to 12 old also need 9 to 12 hours of sleep, while teens need 8 to 10 hours nightly.

Too little sleep or exercise, or too much screen time, can increase their risk of chronic health problems. Unfortunately, many children and teens aren’t hitting these targets, leading to issues like obesity, which is rising tremendously in the Western world. It’s important that teenagers losing weight is seen as for health reasons instead of for visual appearance to prevent negative body image; you can find out more about staying fit and healthy in your younger years at Nutrition Realm. Other issues that can arise from not exercising or not having a sufficient amount of sleep in your younger years are mental health issues like anxiety and depression, poor academic achievement and unhealthy behaviors like smoking and drinking, the study team notes in JAMA Pediatrics.

For the full article check it out here.

If you would like help as a teenager or with your teenager(s), please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk to one of our licensed life coaches of clinical counselors.

Guard Your Heart From Adultery

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Guard Your Heart From Adultery

By Robert Wolgemuth

The core issue here regarding sexual temptation is the condition of our hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else,” a concerned dad warned his young adult son, “for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).

Many years ago, I had a close friend who made a bad decision to hang out in a hotel bar and stay there until late into the night. This man had never been unfaithful to his wife. But after a few extra drinks, he began a conversation with a woman that continued into the early hours of the next morning.

Before going to their separate rooms, they exchanged cell numbers. When he returned home from the trip, my friend told me all about the woman. “Nothing bad happened,” he said, cautiously defending himself, “But we did share phone numbers,” he added.

I remember this conversation as though it happened last week. My friend and I were in his office. He was behind his desk; I was standing in front of him. And I spoke to him as lovingly and directly as I could.

“Guard your heart,” I pleaded with him. “Guard your heart.”

For the full article go to Family Life’s blog.

If you would like help with your struggles in the area of adultery or with your relationship, please call CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to set up an appointment with one of our coaches or counselors.

Relationship Woes: How to Turn a Negative Attitude Around

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Relationship Woes: How to Turn a Negative Attitude Around 

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott PhD

“All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts.” -James Allen

Most everyone has experienced a bad attitude in their relationship. Believe it or not, there are ways you can turn this negativity around. After all, we aren’t born with bad attitudes – they are developed in our minds over time.

With effort, we can protect ourselves against the bad attitude disease. There is no simple procedure to eliminating bad attitudes forever, but there are ways you can take a negative attitude and nip it in the bud. Today, we want to share four steps that will be a game changer in turning a negative attitude around.

For the full article check out the SYMBIS Blog.

If you are looking for help in your relationships, please give CornerStone Family Services a call at 614-459-3003 to set up an appointment with one of our counselors or coaches.

18 Texts That Say, “I’m Sorry.”

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By Marriage365

While it’s important to give a formal apology in person when you’ve messed up, it’s also good to follow up with a phone call or text to remind your spouse how sorry you really are. Sending “I’m sorry” texts shows that you’re trying to rebuild trust and repair your relationship. Now these texts are to help inspire a more in depth conversation and please make them personal… make them your own…

For the full article go here.

If you would like help in healing your relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.