The Busier You Are, the More You Need Quiet Time

Posted on: April 5, 2017 by: Seth evans

The Busier You Are, the More You Need Quiet Time

By Justin Talbot-Zorn and Leigh Marz

Recent studies are showing that taking time for silence restores the nervous system, helps sustain energy, and conditions our minds to be more adaptive and responsive to the complex environments in which so many of us now live, work, and lead. Duke Medical School’s Imke Kirste recently found that silence is associated with the development of new cells in the hippocampus, the key brain region associated with learning and memory. Physician Luciano Bernardi found that two-minutes of silence inserted between musical pieces proved more stabilizing to cardiovascular and respiratory systems than even the music categorized as “relaxing.” And a 2013 study in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, based on a survey of 43,000 workers, concluded that the disadvantages of noise and distraction associated with open office plans outweighed anticipated, but still unproven, benefits like increasing morale and productivity boosts from unplanned interactions…

Even incredibly busy people can cultivate periods of sustained quiet time. Here are four practical ideas:

1) Punctuate meetings with five minutes of quiet time. If you’re able to close the office door, retreat to a park bench, or find another quiet hideaway, it’s possible to hit reset by engaging in a silent practice of meditation or reflection.

2) Take a silent afternoon in nature. You need not be a rugged outdoors type to ditch the phone and go for a simple two-or-three-hour jaunt in nature. In our own experience and those of many of our clients, immersion in nature can be the clearest option for improving creative thinking capacities. Henry David Thoreau went to the woods for a reason.

3) Go on a media fast. Turn off your email for several hours or even a full day, or try “fasting” from news and entertainment. While there may still be plenty of noise around—family, conversation, city sounds—you can enjoy real benefits by resting the parts of your mind associated with unending work obligations and tracking social media or current events…

For the full article, check out the HBR site.

If you would like help cultivating silence and quiet to reduce some of your stress, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

How to Slow Down And Enjoy Brewing Coffee at Home

Posted on: March 22, 2017 by: Seth evans

How to Slow Down And Enjoy Brewing Coffee at Home

By Michelle Flandreau

Frenzied. Hurried. Chaotic. Is this what your morning coffee routine feels like?

Andie Wilber, a barista at the Starbucks Reserve® Roastery & Tasting Room, encourages people to take 10 extra minutes when they can and slow down while brewing coffee.

“If that’s how you start your morning, that’s the tone that will follow you throughout your day and hopefully your life,” Andie said.

For the full article on brewing and decor tips to help with staying in the moment, visit the original article.

If you would like help in slowing down and staying in the moment or reducing your stress and anxiety, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping

Posted on: December 26, 2016 by: Seth evans

Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping

By the Mayo Clinic

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests – stress and depression. And it’s no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands – parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few. But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would. There are so many different ways to ensure you have a positive holiday season, but one of the most popular methods is to purchase some essentials oils that smell of the holidays! There are multiple options from AromaTech, including oils that smell of pine and cinnamon. When they’re diffused, they can help to create a therapeutic feeling that prevents people from feeling depressed, ensuring everyone has a lovely time together. Hopefully, that will keep people from feeling depressed, whilst also making the house smell festive. That’s just one method, there are so many others!

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it’s hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past. No one wants to feel stressed during the holidays as this is the time of year when you should be at your happiest. Sometimes it can be hard to give your mind a break as you may be constantly overthinking about the different aspects of your life. You may want to give yourself a much-needed rest by having a look at this anxiety supplement that could make you feel better in time for all of your holiday events. Make sure you do what is best for you. Read on to find out how you can prevent these feelings.

Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.

Try these alternatives:

Donate to a charity in someone’s name.
Give homemade gifts.
Start a family gift exchange.

Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Try these suggestions:
- Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.
Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm. Some people find that cannabis strains are able to do this. It’s believed that cannabis can help people ease their stress, so it might be worth looking on a website similar to https://www.cheapbudcanada.com/marijuana-products/premium-cannabis-flowers/girl-scout-cookies/, or another website similar, to try and get your hands on some cannabis strains to improve your mental wellbeing. That should allow you to de-stress and relax. However, there are other options.
Some options may include:
- Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
- Listening to soothing music.
- Getting a massage.
- Reading a book.
- Get some Sleep Education and buy a new mattress
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

If you would like help with stress and depression, please contact CornerStone Family Service at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

How To Reduce And Deal With Holiday Stress

Posted on: December 21, 2016 by: Seth evans

How To Reduce And Deal With Holiday Stress

By Bruce Y. Lee

Even though songs such as “Winter Wonderland” and “Jingle Bells” can make the winter holiday season seem like a time for pervasive cheer and mirth, in actuality, holidays can bring stress, depression and anxiety, which in turn can lead to physical problems such as weight gain and Holiday Heart Syndrome. But many people may be suffering in silence. After all, we don’t have songs such as “Rudolph the Depressed Reindeer,” “Santa Claus has Overeaten Again” or “Jingle Bell Stress” to raise awareness. So why may the holidays be stressful to you and what can you do about it?

Here are some common causes of holiday stress:

“Little Drummer Boy and Girl”: Many people have to work hard with looming year-end deadlines and potentially increased business, especially if sales are tied to the holiday season in any way (such as for retail stores, restaurants, health clinics and candy cane manufacturing). More work can mean less sleep, less exercise and less healthy habits, which can exacerbate stress. Also, gift shopping and holiday planning for friends and co-workers can feel like another job.
“Sleigh Ride (will be delayed indefinitely due to unforeseen circumstances and we will be charging extra for checking in luggage and wearing pants)”: Holiday travel can be unpleasant with the increasingly crowded conditions and expenses.
“All I Want for Christmas Is Some Cash”: With all the gift giving, parties and travel, the holidays can really stretch your budget, heightening any financial concerns.
“Santa Claus is Coming to Town and So Are Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, Your Cousins, Your In-Laws, Your Aunt, Your Uncle, Your Daughter and Her New Boyfriend, and Your Son and Several Strange Friends”: The holidays can bring together people and accompanying drama.
“Let It Snow! Let It Snow!…Stop Snowing, Already!”:Inclement weather, cold temperatures and less daylight can trigger seasonal affective disorder, depression and road rage (from worse driving conditions), as well as limit activities that would help relieve stress (such as sports and walking outside).
“Last Christmas”: The holidays can remind you of painful memories such as break-ups, divorces and deaths, especially when you see people experiencing the opposite (for example, seemingly happy couples).
“Frosting the Snowman”: Food and beverages, including lots of unhealthy ones with lots of fat, salt and sugar, are everywhere, which can lead to overeating, weight gain, heartburn, remorse, regret and then more eating and drinking.
“I Saw Mommy, Daddy and Everyone Else Kissing Santa Claus”: When people are stressed, lonely, depressed or drunk, they can do unusual and unpredictable things, which in turn can cause more stress (especially if that person is another family member, your significant other, your boss, your employee or you).
“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like…this Holiday Sale That You Can’t Miss and Don’t Forget That Diamonds Show That You Really Care”: The holidays pummel you with advertising convincing you of what don’t have and need to buy.
“Do You Hear What I Hear?”: During the holidays, many others may seem happy and cheerful, which may make your situation seem less favorable by comparison.
“Silent Night”: Unfortunately, not everyone has loved ones or a social circle with whom to spend the holidays.

So what can you do to prevent and combat holiday stress?

“Running Around the Christmas Tree”: Keep a regular exercise routine. Maintain your regular hobbies and regular eating habits…unless they are unhealthy.
“Chestnuts Roasting in an Open Fire”: Try to eat healthily. Your mood and health are very closely tied to what you ingest. Consider visiting a website that sells CBD. Taking CBD can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, especially when combined with a healthy diet. CBD and products based on the same could help you not only alleviate your distress but also keep you relaxed during the hectic holiday season! You could look at products from e-stores such as https://sweetwaterhempcompany.com/shop/full-spectrum-oils.html and similar others to procure these products for yourself.
“Away in a Manger”: Get enough sleep to re-charge and help handle stress. Also, take time out during the day to take breaks.
“Blue Christmas”: Don’t be afraid to tell others about how you feel. You may be surprised to find that they are struggling with similar problems and can help provide empathy and social support. If you feel truly overwhelmed or ill, seek professional or medical help.
“ Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother’s House We Go…but Maybe Try Another Path “: Don’t keep repeating the same mistakes each holiday season. By now, you know what conversations and actions will make you unhappy, anxious, regretful and remorseful (such as going to that same holiday party each year, overeating, overdrinking and ending up with a lampshade on your head) and trigger unresolvable arguments with others, such as family members. Try something new.
“Happy Christmas (War Is Over)”: Meaningful social connections can help protect you against stress. Avoid people who are not genuinely interested in you. Connect with those who are. Know when to sever relationships that are toxic and harmful. Be willing to let go of grudges for relationships that are worth mending. Also, bringing a smile to others’ faces could be an effective way of preventing stress. This could be as simple as giving your employees cheap corporate gifts or offering a meal to someone in need.
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”: Stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace your uniqueness. Each of us has a different path in life and faces different challenges and successes. Beneath their superficial appearances, you often don’t know what people are really experiencing. As the Batman has shown us, ostensible success does not mean the person is not struggling and miserable.
“Feliz Navidad”: Keep in mind that the world is a big place and that you are not necessarily trapped in your current social circle and circumstances.
“Do They Know It’s Christmas? (Feed the World)”: As Supergirl has shown, helping others can keep you physically active, distract you from your other concerns, be therapeutic, and lead to new friends.
“Twelve Days of Christmas”: Keep perspective and if the Holidays are tough for you, remember that the Holiday season is temporary and will pass. Try not to take yourself and things too seriously. Just make sure you maintain healthy habits and avoid behaviors that will lead to health problems (such as gaining weight) beyond the holiday season.
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: Even if it doesn’t seem so to you, try to stay optimistic. Research has shown that optimism can have health benefits. Be open to new experiences and possibilities. Sometimes the best things in life are the most unexpected.

And if all of this doesn’t do enough relieve your stress, you can always try singing…

If you would like help with dealing with holiday stress, anxiety, or depression, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Holiday Depression and Stress

Posted on: December 20, 2016 by: Seth evans

Holiday Depression and Stress

By Mental Health America Wisconsin

Although the holidays are supposed to be a time full of joy, good cheer and optimistic hopes for a new year, many people struggle during the holiday season when expectations are high and disrupted routines can feel overwhelming. However, some mental preparations and planning can help everyone cope with the season — and even enjoy it.

Self-care. Pay special attention to your eating, sleeping, and downtime. It might be OK to skimp on a few hours of sleep just before a relaxing weekend, but think again if that weekend will include the stress of traveling, visiting or other activities out of your normal routine. Don’t forget to factor in downtime, too. Planning every hour of your time off can seem like a great idea, until you realize there is no time left to unwind.

Fun, not perfection. Resist the urge to do everything you can to make the season perfect for everyone. Just have as much fun as you can and don’t expect it to be perfect.

Anticipate stress. Plan ahead of time what your strategy will be when times get stressful. Is it possible to take a walk outside for 15 minutes when a family gathering gets stressful? How about a trip to your favorite store if your schedule gets you down?

Coping with Stress During the Holidays

Keep expectations manageable. Try to set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the important activities.
Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Don’t put the entire focus on just one day (i.e. Thanksgiving Day). Remeber that it’s a season of holiday sentiment, and activities can be spread out to lessen stress and increase enjoyment.
Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely; there is room for these feelings to be present, even if the person chooses not to express them.
Leave “yesteryear” in the past and look toward the future. Life brings changes. Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up in comparing today with the “good ol’ days.”
Do something for someone else. Try volunteering some your time to help others.
Enjoy activities that are free, such as taking a drive to look at holiday decorations, going window shopping or making a snowman with children.
Be aware of excessive drinking. It will only increase your feelings of stress.
Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way.
Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends, or connect with someone you haven’t heard from in while.
Save time for yourself! Recharge your batteries! Let others share in the responsibility of planning activities.

Holiday Bill of Rights

You have the right to…

Take care of yourself.
Feel mixed up emotions around the holidays.
Spend time alone thinking, reflecting and relaxing.
Say “no” to party invitations.
Ask for help and support from family, friends and community service agencies
Say “no” to alcohol, drugs…and seconds on dessert.
NOT to ride with a drunk driver, to take their keys away and to call a taxi for them.
Give gifts that are within your holiday budget.
Smile at angry sales people and/or rude drivers and give them a peace of your mind.
Enjoy your holiday the way you want.

If you would like help dealing with depression or stress, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Managing Holiday Stress and Depression

Posted on: November 23, 2016 by: Seth evans

Managing Holiday Stress

By The Cleveland Clinic

In Great Britain the word “holiday” has the same meaning as vacation. Many Americans would find this comparison laughable. For most of us, the holidays come with our own “to-do” lists.

Too often we take holiday stress for granted. What’s worse, we often have higher expectations for this season than for any other time of the year. Planning for the holidays can leave us feeling impatient, cranky, and – in some cases – depressed. When the realities of day-to-day life conflict with our efforts to make the holiday season perfect, stress results. Some of us have to travel a bit of a distance to see our families this holiday season, holiday travel comes with its own problems, check out some tips on helping you have a better travel experience and keep you calm during this time.

How do I prevent holiday stress?

Are your expectations for the holidays realistic? Asking yourself this question is the first step to managing holiday stress. Make a list of what you expect from yourself and your family during the holidays. Hidden within these expectations you might find your potential holiday stressors – the things specific to you that can cause stress.

Under each item in the list, write down what changes you can make to prevent or defuse stress. Make the changes that will be most helpful to you. Do not hold on to unrealistic goals, such as creating the most enchanting holiday atmosphere. Remember to include your own needs. After setting this out you’ll be able to see what you need to do and how you should face it with the changes you want. To help ease the anxiety more you could look online at Area 52 carts for calming products like CBD and other cannabis-related items so you are able to breathe and carry on with clarity.

Here is an example of a holiday stress prevention list:

Holiday shopping

Ask people what they want instead of scouring the earth to find the “perfect” gifts.
Shop early, when there is more of a selection.
Stick to your gift budget.

Planning family get-togethers

Buy prepared foods, instead of cooking everything from scratch.
Ask others to bring their favorite dishes.
Cook and freeze foods ahead of time.

Scheduling time with family and friends

Simplify holiday commitments and traditions. Discuss with your family which traditions are most important to you and to them. It’s okay to re-evaluate past traditions.
Allow time for yourself. Remember to do things that you enjoy.
Avoid time crunches by making plans to visit some friends and family soon after the holidays.
Don’t over-schedule yourself. Allow enough time to relax and recover after visiting with others.
Tell family members about your commitments so you are not struggling against their expectations.
Travel after rush hour. When driving long distances, give yourself time to stop and rest.

Pausing before the holiday spread

Avoid overeating and overdrinking, especially alcoholic beverages.
Avoid starving yourself in anticipation of eating at holiday parties. This approach can lead to eating too much of the wrong foods.
Continue to exercise and watch your diet.

Managing your time

Set priorities and let go of impossible goals.
Stop to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Don’t spend all of your time planning activities for your family. You might end up feeling drained and unappreciated.
Take the time you need to finish tasks that are important to you. Don’t try to complete everything at once.
Ask others, including the kids, to help you complete chores.
Rest when your body tells you to.

What are the holiday blues?

For some of us, the holidays can be a depressing time when we get the holiday blues. Feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anger can intensify when contrasted with the joy expected of the holidays. This happens to many people, some of us are more likely to feel depressed during this festive season. This isn’t what the holidays are about though, so it’s important that we try and prevent this depression from taking over. Some people claim that they escape the feelings of depression by visiting websites like https://theherbcentre.net/. By getting some weed, a lot of people find that their depression seems to disappear temporarily, allowing them to enjoy the festivities. It’s important to find a way to combat your depression for the holidays, it should be a time of celebrations. However, factors that can contribute to holiday depression include:

Associating the holidays with unresolved family issues or a painful childhood
Ignoring feelings of sadness, loneliness, or depression in an effort to maintain “holiday cheer”
Facing the loss of a loved one with whom you have shared the holidays
Having unrealistic expectations of family and friends
Having an expectation that you “should” feel good
Being away from family and friends
Feeling isolated from others
Reflecting on losses or disappointments over the past year
Coping with changes in family obligations, particularly after a recent marriage or divorce
Drinking more alcohol, which is often more readily available during the holidays (Avoid drinking alcohol to ward off negative feelings. Alcohol often will make depression worse.)

How do I cope with the holiday blues?

Try something new. Take a vacation with a family member or friend.
Spend time with people who care about you.
Volunteer your time to help others. Spending time with those in need can help you feel less isolated.
If you are religious, take time to reflect on the spiritual significance of the holidays.
Try to appreciate the good things you have now instead of focusing on the past.
Stay active. Get out. Go for a walk. Window shop.
Accept feelings of sadness or loneliness. These feelings might not go away just because it’s the holidays.
Get help if you need it. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help any time of the year.

3 Ways to Soothe Your Spouse’s Anxiety

Posted on: November 14, 2016 by: Seth evans

3 Ways to Soothe Your Spouse’s Anxiety

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Anxiety. Most of us have been there: an issue that–to the outside world–seems arguably small balloons into a crushing, suffocating weight. Our hearts race. Our palms sweat. We descend into a spiraling panic, and find that it’s difficult (and even hopeless) to stop the feeling of dread building inside our chests.

Most of us know what anxiety feels like when it’s happening to us, but it can be difficult to know how to help someone we love when they are being riddled with it. It’s easy to feel at a loss, not knowing what to do or say. Can’t they just get over it, already? Admittedly, this might be easy enough for someone who is well-stocked up after their last visit to the dispensaries in florida.

Unfortunately, it’s easiest to write off a spouse’s anxiety and come up short when it comes to offering comfort and help. So today, we’re sharing tips for helping your husband or wife overcome the panic monster when it attacks.

1. SOOTHE YOUR SPOUSE AND LISTEN TO HIS/HER FEARS.

When your spouse is in the throes of anxiety, it can be difficult to relate to the things that are bothering him or her. In fact, it may seem impossible to you. But it’s critically important to lend an ear and offer comfort to your spouse anyway, regardless of whether you can identify with his/her turmoil.

Encourage your spouse to talk to you about what’s upsetting them. Sometimes a person who is in a state of panic can calm down on their own if they talk about their worries.

If you can do anything to alleviate your spouse’s most pressing sense of panic, do it. Help him/her find ways to calm his/her body and mind. If the anxiety can be lessened, your spouse has a better chance of clearing their mind and approaching the issue from a calmer place.

2. DON’T TELL YOUR SPOUSE TO “JUST GET OVER IT.”

Panic and anxiety are driven by emotions, and even though an anxious person’s brain might be telling them one thing, their emotions are communicating a sense of urgency (and potentially danger) that they feel has to be resolved immediately. It’s classic fight-or-flight.

Unfortunately, there’s no easy fix for anxiety and panic. Although, therapeutic treatments like CBD Oil use could have a positive effect. It is likely that you’ll find the use of CBD Oil every day optimal and offers the greatest effect. Moreover, telling your spouse to “get over” whatever is upsetting them is just going to make the situation worse. Instead, show empathy and determine what you can do to help.

If your spouse is feeling anxious about a decision that needs to be made, help him/her walk through the options, examining the pros and cons as a team. If work is making your spouse anxious or panicked, sit down and talk together about why, and explore possible solutions. If your spouse’s anxiety is rooted in matters at home or with family, see where you can pitch in and help.

If the anxiety is uncontrollable and has disrupted your spouse’s (or your, or your family’s) quality of life, gently encourage him/her to seek professional help or look for supplements such as full spectrum hemp to help them manage their anxiety. If the problem is complex and out of control, don’t be afraid to seek help. But if it’s something you can find a solution for between the two of you, all the better.

3. DE-STRESS AND UNWIND–DELIBERATELY.

If anxiety has had a hold on your life, focus on ways the two of you can unwind and find peace. Seeking out pleasurable activities and having fun together will boost your sense of well-being (and your intimacy, which is a huge bonus!). You may even want to relax them by running them a nice, hot bath and adding an infused cbd bath bomb for that extra sense of relaxation and rewinding.

The panic monster can be a hard one to beat, but by working together and focusing on ways to alleviate your spouse’s anxiety, it can be done. As you help your spouse deal with his/her feelings of panic, remember that most everyone experiences difficult seasons like this at some point. Armed with understanding, patience, empathy, and love, you can overcome this together.

Top 10 Reasons for Procrastination (and Their Solutions)

Posted on: October 25, 2016 by: Seth evans

Top 10 Reasons for Procrastination

By BYUI Counseling Center

(Adapted from “The Top 10 Reasons for Procrastination and How to Get Over Them,” by Louise Morganti Kaelin)

1. Clouded vision. (SOLUTION: Step back.)

It’s time to look at the forest. What exactly are you trying to accomplish? Sometimes we get so caught up in the detail that we forget where we’re going.

2. The task is overwhelming. (SOLUTION: Break it down.)

The bigger the task, the more we need to define the natural milestones within the task. Want to lose 20 pounds? Go for five pounds, four times! Need to clean your room? Break it down into North, South, East, and West. Or divide it into tasks that can be done in a certain block of time (15 minutes, 2 hours, etc.).

3. Fear of the end result. (SOLUTION: Acknowledge the fear, then take the next step.)

Sometimes we’re afraid we’ll fail; sometimes we’re afraid we’ll succeed. The outcome is the same: fear of what will happen when we’re done scares us so much that we don’t work at it.

4. The task is unpleasant or boring. (SOLUTION: Focus on “why” you are doing it.)

You hate to clean, but you love living in graceful surroundings. You hate to do laundry, but you love having clean clothes. You hate to make phone calls, but you need the information on the other end of the line to make your project go faster or easier. There are many tasks or chores that we don’t like to do but that are necessary to live the life we want to live. Focus on the bigger picture.

5. Indecision. (SOLUTION: Remember, often there are no wrong choices. So do something, anything.)

There are very few things that can’t be undone, or done again. Can’t decide what color to paint, so you let your walls remain stained and grungy? Pick three colors. Start with the lightest. If you don’t like it, go on to the next.

6. You lack confidence. (SOLUTION: Figure out if your lack of skill is real or imagined.)

If it’s real, find out where to gain the skills you need or find someone with the right skills who can help you. If it’s imagined, look at #3-fear of the end result.

7. Not enough time. (SOLUTION: Break it down into steps that are doable in 5 to 15 minute chunks of time.)

This is related to #2–feeling overwhelmed, but has more to do with time than feeling overwhelmed. Large, uninterrupted chunks of time are very hard to come by. (And if we’re honest, when they do come, we’d rather do something fun!) A good rule of thumb is “5 or 15”. Either do 5 things (file 5 pieces of paper, fold 5 articles of clothing) or do something for 15 minutes. You’d be surprised how much gets done that way, and without pain!

8. Distractions. (SOLUTION: Be honest with yourself, then get focused.)

Are you consciously inviting distractions so that you have a “good” reason not to get something done? It’s a way we often sabotage ourselves. Give yourself a gift of time to work on a project. Don’t answer the phone or door for one hour. If someone calls, ask the person if you can get back to them in an hour. Take control of the situation.

9. Not allowing adequate time (SOLUTION: Figure out how long it will take, then double it, or better yet, triple it.)

When we envision a project in our minds, we see ourselves flying through it, on a straight and narrow path. Because of that, we tend to vastly underestimate how long it will take-partly because we forget about Steps 1 through 8! Eventually you’ll get better at this, but to begin with, start doubling how long you think it will take. This will allow you to plan better and, perhaps, even complete a project without stress!

10. Too many other projects. (SOLUTION: Ask for help or establish priority.)

If you’ve got too much on your plate, speak up-either to your boss, your family, or to yourself. What is the most important thing to do right now? Focus on that. Also, work on “Important” tasks, not just the “Urgent” ones!

Hello, I Am an Idol

Posted on: October 18, 2016 by: Seth evans

It may seem odd to see an article about idolatry on a counseling website, but an idol isn’t necessarily something that we literally bow down to, offer prayers to, and/or offer sacrifices to during our week. An idol is something, even something intangible, that has control of our hearts and controls our thoughts, emotions, desires, and interpersonal relationships in a way that produces anxiety, depression, and stress when we don’t have it or fear that it may be taken away. By pinpointing our idols, we can begin to understand and begin to healthily deal with the thing or things that may be producing unhealthy interpersonal and intrapersonal struggles.

Here is one way to identify what idols may be causing issues in our hearts and lives:

rusty-plane

Hello, I Am an Idol

By Nicholas McDonald

Hello. I am an idol.

Don’t be afraid, it’s just me. I notice you’re turned off by my name: “Idol.”

It’s okay. I get that a lot.

Allow me to rename myself.

I’m your family.

Your bank account.

Your sex life.

The people who accept you.

Your career.

Your self-image.

Your ideal spouse.

Your law-keeping.

I’m whatever you want me to be.

I’m what you think about while you drive on the freeway.

I’m your anxiety when you lay your head on the pillow.

I’m where you turn when you need comfort.

I’m what your future cannot live without.

When you lose me, you’re nothing.

When you have me, you’re the center of existence.

You look up to those who have me.

You look down on those who don’t.

You’re controlled by those who offer me.

You’re furious at those who keep you from me.

When I make a suggestion to you, you’re compelled.

When you cannot gratify me, I consume you.

No—I cannot see you, or hear you, or speak back to you.

But that’s what you like about me.

No—I am never quite what you think I am.

But that’s why you keep coming back.

And no—I don’t love you.

But I’m there for you, whenever you need me.

What am I?

I think you know by now.

You tell me.

If you would like help dealing with the idols in your heart and life that are causing issues, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Facing Stress Together: How to Keep Your Sanity and Marriage Intact

Posted on: October 17, 2016 by: Seth evans

Facing Stress Together: How to Keep Your Sanity and Marriage Intact

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Going through a stressful season or life event can take a toll on your marriage and family. How do you deal with the stress together, while keeping your sanity and marriage intact?

Today, we’re sharing some tips on how to deal with stressful times as a couple.

REMEMBER YOU’RE ON THE SAME TEAM

When the going gets tough, it can be easy for spouses to become agitated with–or even pitted against–one another. We know this isn’t where you want to end up! So when you’re really feeling the pressure of whatever situation you’re in, breathe and remind yourself that the two of you are on the same team.

It can be helpful to remind your spouse that you aren’t enemies if he/she becomes edgy toward you during this difficult time. Just remember to do it in a gentle, kind way. After the storm passes, your spouse will be grateful for it.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH

Stress, especially when it’s prolonged, can really take a toll on our bodies. When you’re dealing with a stressful circumstance or season, it’s important for you to work together to protect your health. Be one another’s accountability partner, eat healthy foods, get plenty of rest, and take time to decompress together with exercise. Another way of de-stressing and coping through difficult situations is by using some strains of cannabis. This can help couples to feel relaxed and de-stressed, improving their health and wellness. Perhaps some couples might want to consider looking into some of the products offered by oregrown bend, for example. As some of those products are discounted some days, it might be worth saving some money and getting some of their products. Hopefully, that method should be able to reduce your stress, keeping you both relaxed and happy.

Once you allow stress to take hold of your life and your body, it’s easy to get stuck in a downward spiral of bad habits that will be very detrimental to your health and future. Work together to stay on top of this, and when the stress has passed, you’ll be glad you did!

INTENTIONALLY FOCUS ON POSITIVES

A stressful situation can be all-encompassing. This might make us to want to discuss the source of that stress all the time, until we finally have closure. If we’re not careful, we’ll quickly overpower all communication with the stressful topic before we realize what we’ve done.

Of course, there will be many occasions where you and your spouse have to have the hard conversations and address what’s happening in your life. But once in awhile, pick a different–positive–topic on purpose, and spend some time focusing on that. As time passes, you’ll feel less pressure, and it’ll become easier to spend time talking about happier things.

HAVE SOME FUN

Stress sucks the joy out of life. It’s common to become sluggish and isolated when you’re facing difficulties. You might even become depressed and lose interest in things you enjoyed doing in the past.

Take some time with your spouse to just go have some fun. Go on a date (and ban all discussion of heavy and negative topics), play a sport together, take a walk, watch a funny movie, create something together–anything to hit that “reset” button on your inner world.

You may not be able to control everything that’s going on around you, but you and your spouse can definitely follow these steps to make life a little more bearable when you’re in a hard season. In time, this will pass, and when you come out on the other side you’ll still have each other. Lifelong love can take a lot of work, but it’s worth every struggle.