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4 Ways Porn Warps the Male Brain

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4 Ways Porn Warps the Male Brain

By Matt Fradd

I’ve often heard men say, “I love looking at hdsexvideo porn movies. Besides it doesn’t hurt anything. It’s only fantasy. What’s the problem?”

Now, you may not have a moral problem with porn, but many are starting to have a medical problem with it. The more we study the impact of porn on the male brain, the more men are starting to think twice about porn being a harmless pastime.

1. Porn gives men a new standard of beauty.

In 2002, the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, published research showing that when men are shown pictures of centerfold models from Playboy and Penthouse, this significantly lowered their judgements about the attractiveness of “average” people.

In our hyper-sexualized media culture, is this something that really needs to be reinforced? Should we train our brains to rate women by the size, shape, and harmony of their body parts? Do we want our standard of beauty to be shaped by a fictional standard or by the woman we are actually in love with?

2. Male brains don’t just view porn. They enter into it.

The journal NeuroImage published a study in 2008 demonstrating that as men are sexually aroused by porn films, something called “mirror neurons” in the brain also fire.

What is a mirror neuron? Have you ever seen someone get hit in the face with a ball or some other blunt object, and then your own body recoils? This is because of mirror neurons: you instantly react as if you were the one hit.

When it comes to porn, the brain naturally imagines the viewer in the pornographic scene. When a man is turned on by porn his body is not merely responding to the naked woman. His brain is picturing himself as the main character, heightening the arousal. You see, porn isn’t merely arousing to men because the women in it are attractive, but because it makes the man feel sexy. With so many website around these days like Full Tube XXX providing higher quality experiences all the time is becoming increasingly more common and as a result more immersive.

This trains men not to get their sense of personal validation from real life relationships but from pixels on a screen.

3. The more porn men watch, the more their brains look like an addict’s brain.

In 2014 scientists at Cambridge discovered that the brains of habitual porn users show great similarity to the brains of alcoholics. When a self-confessed porn addict is hooked up to an MRI machine and then is shown a fullhdxxx pornographic video , a brain structure called the ventral striatum “lights up” in the same way it lights up for an alcoholic who sees a picture of an drink.

You might be thinking, “So what?” Well, researchers speculate that continued use of porn over time, especially starting at younger ages, makes it such that we actually lose willpower. The more we watch porn, the more difficult it is for men to say to no to watching porn because of the strong craving they feel.

This is not the kind of men most men want to be. We want to enjoy our passions, not be enslaved to them.

4. Porn makes violence sexy.

According to research by Dr. Dolf Zillmann and Dr. Jennings Bryant, the more porn one is exposed to, the more likely one is willing to trivialize rape. In their experiments, after watching just five hours of pornographic films stretched over a six-week period, subjects were willing to cut the sentencing of an accused rapist nearly in half, compared to those who had not watched pornography at all.

Those who watched more porn were also likely to believe that practices like sadomasochism were two to three times more common in general society than those who had not seen porn. Of course porn doesn’t make most consumers into sexually violent people, it does train men to embrace a culture of objectification, reinforcing a belief that women exist to give sexual pleasure to men. Again, is this the kind of men we want to become?

Let me make an appeal to men:

  • if your goal is to become a man whose standard of beauty is shaped by the one you love…
  • if your goal is to feel a personal sense of worth and validation based on your most valuable relationships…
  • if your goal is to be a man of self-mastery, not enslaved to your passions…
  • and if your goal is to treat women as people to be served and loved, not see them as objects for your pleasure…

…then consuming porn will take you in the opposite direction.

If you would like help breaking free from the power of porn, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor.

9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain

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9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain

By Joe Carter

“Because the human brain is the biological anchor of our psychological experience, it is helpful to understand how it operates,” says William M. Struthers, associate professor of psychology at Wheaton College. “Knowing how it is wired together and where it is sensitive can help us understand why pornography affects people the way it does.” Here are 9 things you should know about pornography affects the brain.

1. Sexually explicit material from websites similar to sex-hd.xxx triggers mirror neurons in the male brain. These neurons, which are involved with the process for how to mimic a behavior, contain a motor system that correlates to the planning out of a behavior. In the case of pornography, this mirror neuron system triggers the arousal, which leads to sexual tension and a need for an outlet. “The unfortunate reality is that when he acts out (often by masturbating), this leads to hormonal and neurological consequences, which are designed to bind him to the object he is focusing on,” says Struthers. “In God’s plan, this would be his wife, but for many men it is an image on a screen. Pornography thus enslaves the viewer to an image, hijacking the biological response intended to bond a man to his wife and therefore inevitably loosening that bond.”

2. In men, there are five primary chemicals involved in sexual arousal and response. The one that likely plays the most significant role in pornography addiction is dopamine. Dopamine plays a major role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. Every type of reward that has been studied increases the level of dopamine transmission in the brain, and a variety of addictive drugs, including stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine, act directly on the dopamine system. Dopamine surges when a person is exposed to novel stimuli, particularly if it is sexual, or when a stimuli is more arousing than anticipated. Because erotic imagery, on sites similar to https://www.twinkmovies.xxx/, triggers more dopamine than sex with a familiar partner, exposure to pornography leads to “arousal addiction” and teaches the brain to prefer the image and become less satisfied with real-life sexual partners.

3. Why do men seek out a variety of new explicit sexual images rather than being satisfied with the same ones? The reason is attributed to the Coolidge effect, a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners. This neurological mechanism is one of the primary reasons for the abundance and addictiveness of Internet pornography.

4. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry-such as occurs with repeated dopamine spikes related to viewing pornography-creates desensitization. As Gary Wilson explains, “When dopamine receptors drop after too much stimulation, the brain doesn’t respond as much, and we feel less reward from pleasure. That drives us to search even harder for feelings of satisfaction-for example, by seeking out more extreme sexual stimuli, longer porn sessions, or more frequent porn viewing-thus further numbing the brain.

5. “The psychological, behavioral, and emotional habits that form our sexual character will be based on the decisions we make,” says Struthers. “Whenever the sequence of arousal and response is activated, it forms a neurological memory that will influence future processing and response to sexual cues. As this pathway becomes activated and traveled, it becomes a preferred route-a mental journey-that is regularly trod. The consequences of this are far-reaching.”

6. What makes Internet porn from websites similar to sexmature xxx unique? Wilson identifies a number of reasons, including: (1) Internet porn offers extreme novelty; (2) Unlike food and drugs, there are almost no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption; (3) With Internet porn one can escalate both with more novel “partners” and by viewing new and unusual genres; (4) Unlike drugs and food, Internet porn doesn’t eventually activate the brain’s natural aversion system; and (5) The age users start watching porn. A teen’s brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity, making it highly vulnerable to addiction and rewiring.

7. Men’s exposure to sexually explicit material is correlated with social anxiety, depression, low motivation,erectile dysfunction, concentration problems, and negative self-perceptions in terms of physical appearance and sexual functioning.

8. The following video offers a brief overview of the affect of pornography on the brain.

9. In this video, Gary Wilson discusses the disturbing symptoms showing up in some heavy Internet porn users, If even the content is extremely arousing from websites just like teentuber xxx, the surprising reversal of those symptoms, and the science behind these phenomena. Although it is not presented from a Christian perspective, the discussion is highly recommended for better understanding the deleterious and wide-ranging effects pornography has on men.

The False Teachings of Porn

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Fight the porn drug

“Porn teaches the viewer that other people’s bodies are more important than their thoughts, feelings, or emotions. Love says otherwise.” (Fight the New Drug)

_____________________________________________

If you or someone you care about is struggling with porn, please call CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach for help.

A Framework for Purity

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A Framework for Purity: Fighting Lust with Lust

By Erik Raymond

Like any pastor I find myself talking with men about pornography and other expressions of sinful lust. Through the years I have found that there is a biblical framework that is often neglected when counseling through this issue. I have laid it out in some detail here, and I regret that it is so long. However, I post it because it has served to help many through the years. In short the post is broken into three parts: 1) What is Lust? 2) Where is it sourced? 3) How do I combat it? The answer to this is not to stop desiring things but to properly desire God. Hence the title, “Fighting Lust with Lust”. We combat sinful lust by fixing our “lust” upon the glory of Christ. In other words, we slay sin by savoring Christ.

Help ButtonAwhile back I preached a sermon in which I emphasized the deception and danger of lust. I regretted not being able to further develop the topic, specifically how to fight lust. The answer to lust may surprise some, but it is the answer and frankly the only answer to lust that ultimately works.

WHAT IS LUST?

The word translated lust in the New Testament is epithumia. The word simply means ‘desire.’ This desire can be good or bad; whether it is good or bad depends upon how it aligns with God’s revealed will.

For example, we do not understand a potential elder candidate to be in sin who is desiring (epithumia) to the work of an overseerer (1 Tim. 3:1). In this case the desire is a God-honoring desire; therefore, it is not a sinful lust.

On the other hand, we have the sin of lust. In our greed we crave or desire something that is not consistent with what God has revealed or provided. Simply put, sinful lust is to desire something that we believe to be good outside of what God has called good. It is to put our own will and pleasure above God’s.

This is seen quite clearly through the example of sexual lust. God has said that sex is to occur within the framework of marriage (between a male and a female). Therefore, any sexual lust is a craving to experience the intimate pleasures reserved for the marriage apart from this sacred institution. Therefore, it pursues enjoyment apart from and in contrast to God’s clearly revealed will. When a man sits and quietly fixes his eyes and heart upon a woman (whether it be on a computer, television, photo, in person, or in his imagination) and then begins to desire her sexually, this is sinful lust. The man has lustfully craved sexual satisfaction apart from what God has called good.

So with this basic introduction and framework of lust established, let’s make some biblical observations about lust. We understand from Scripture that sinful lust is as much a part of our unbelieving lives as breathing (Eph. 2:3; Titus 3:3) and that it is not to be characteristic of the Christian life (1 Pet. 1:14; 2:11; 4:2-4).

  • Jesus tells us that the nature of lust is demonic (John 8:44).
  • The Bible reiterates that this lust is sourced in our own hearts and it fastens itself on stuff; people, things, and other expressions of vain glory (James 1:14-16).
  • A desire for, a lust for stuff chokes out the Gospel seed (Mk. 4:19).
  • The lusts of the world are clear, succinct, and doomed (1 John 2:16-17).

THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM

So why do we sinfully lust? Everyone yells in unison “Sin!” or “Pride!” or “Greed!” or some other answer that we know to be true but too often do not understand how it works. My contention here is that if you do not know why and how your heart works you will not effectively wage war against its fleshly passions.

Why do we sit and meditate about how successful we will be? Or how people will like us? Why do we strain our necks to covet and long for what we do not have? Why do women envy other women’s beauty, style, wardrobe, sense of humor, mothering skills, or professional skills? Why does a man find himself sinfully staring at a woman who is not his wife? Why does he find himself daydreaming and fantasizing about how he would orchestrate his life if he were sovereign? It is because we are longing for something. We are have discerned that we are empty and now are seeking to fill ourselves up.

At the heart level there is an appraisal that takes place. Each one of us, whether a Christian or not, are governed by our hearts. It’s been rightly said that our hearts are the control tower of the person. It is the seat of our emotions and what governs our actions. Our hearts are confronted with stuff and they confront us with stuff. The natural fallen tendency is to appraise stuff through the lenses of self-exaltation rather than divine exaltation. We naturally fasten our lust upon that which seems to provide us with immediate pleasure, comfort, happiness, or honor. The shiny hooks of the enemy dangle before us in the form of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. Our hearts are lured after what we want and think we need. Is this not your experience? It is also the testimony of Scripture (James 1:14-15; 1 Jn. 2:16-17).

When we are confronted by our hearts we are forced to make a choice between that which God calls beautiful and which our sinful hearts calls beautiful.

For example, consider the area of pornography. Here is the scenario men, you are working on or browsing the internet on your computer and have a desire to look at pornography. So you open up a web browser and go to the atube site in attempt to satisfy what you are craving. In doing this, realize that what has happened is that you have just declared that these images are chiefly beautiful and worthy of your desire. You have elevated your selfish lust to a position of supremacy above what God has called beautiful. You have exchanged the beauty of God for the beauty of a fleeting image. Your sinful heart has just robbed the glory of God of what is due him by ascribing glory and beauty to this image. God has not willed that you have expended your sexual passions on this image but rather to sanctify your passions and employ within the context of a marriage. The craving, appraisal, and exchange happen so quickly. And, the advancement in technology, it is increasingly easy.

Then the heart shows its ability to deceive and trick (Jer. 17:9-10). Men may begin to deal with their sin in number of ways (some become paralyzed by guilt, others work to rationalize, others begin thinking in terms of being a victim). However it is dealt with we mustn’t forget our Lord’s shocking and sobering statement that one who lusts is as guilty as the one who has actually engaged in the action (Matt. 5:27-28). Those entangled in the sin may look around to blame others but at the end of the day must realize that biblically speaking it begins with us. Everyone who succumbs to lust does so on their own accord.

James 1:14-15 – But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

Notice here that we are tempted when we are carried away and enticed by our own lust. We are drawn and lured after our own lusts. We are enticed by our unbiblical appraisals of stuff.

How serious is this? What does a full-grown seed of lust look like? Notice that the result of this lust is death. Our unbiblical appraisal of and pursuit of stuff has a declared end and it is death. Men, how would you change your viewing habits if as soon as you thought an impure thought you knew that you were going to simultaneously explode? I wonder how often ladies would sit and talk about how they wish they looked like so and so or be like so and so if they at once were to be struck dead? While it may seem like I’m engaging in some extreme examples that aren’t relevant, let’s remember that in matters of sin we are talking about death (Rm. 6:23).

WE ESTEEMED HIM NOT

In light of the appraising that goes on, consider the Lord Jesus. The passage everyone needs to meditate upon when dissecting their lustful habits is Isaiah 53.

Isaiah 53:2 – For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.

Jesus, with all of the beauty of God in bodily form, dwelling among human flesh and he is, from a human perspective, devoid of beauty and unworthy of attraction. He isn’t attractive to the heart.

Doesn’t this get right at our issue? How does the incarnate Son of God compare with the beauty of this world? In heaven we will engage in unhindered worship of this same Jesus and there will be no longings for this present world, for all of our desires and longings will be terminating on their chief end Jesus Christ! He is, after all, the very source and expression of goodness. We will forever be with God, at whose right hand there are pleasures forevermore (Ps. 16:10).

Remember what happened to Christ as a result of him not being highly esteemed.

Isaiah 53:3, 5 – He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him… But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.

As a result of this lack of esteem, desire, and attraction, there was a barbaric crucifixion. It is no different today. When you and I fasten our lusts upon something that is sinful then we are weighing Jesus upon the scales against these same desires. The result is that he is found wanting. We measure the object of our lusts as beautiful and the infinitely beautiful Son of God to be… unattractive.

We need to think in these terms as we quietly employ the lusts of your flesh. Any ‘innocent’ desires that are the offspring of our glory-starved hearts have a target in mind and it is, and always will be, the slaying of God and the usurping of his authority.

No matter what setting you find yourself in, you must battle your heart. You may say “I don’t struggle with porn.” Praise God! But friend, you do struggle with lust. Every one of us struggles with the continual waywardness of our own hearts and our insatiable desire for comfort, honor, and control. It was Calvin who said that the human heart is an idol factory.

Peter reminds us of the priority:

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”” (1 Peter 1:14–16)

If we do not know what our former lusts were, perhaps they are not former. The Christian life is a battle that is characterized by a tenacious, fanatical, and relentless pursuit of holiness. If we are not walking against the worldly and fleshly current in pursuit of holiness than perhaps we are lifelessly floating downstream.

So how do we fight this sinful lust?

FIGHTING LUST WITH LUST

We have looked briefly at what sinful lust is, seeking ‘goodness’ apart from God, and where it is sourced… in our own hearts. In conclusion, let’s think about the chief auxiliary in combating lust.

The title of this article is intended to make us think. As we considered the fact that lusts are desires, and in the Scriptures these desires can be good or bad, this depends on how they line up with the will of God. So how do we fight these desires? We do it with desires. Your chief defense against sinful lust is an all-out offensive of sanctified lust, if you will. It is to set our hearts upon the supremacy, sufficiency, and beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is in this posture of continual satisfied delight in Jesus that the lusts of our flesh and this world evaporate into vapors like the steam on our morning coffee.

So here are some helpful tools in fighting lust:

Admit you have issues

Too many of us walk around thinking we are ok. Just because we are not in triage does not mean we are perfectly healthy. We are sinners who are saved by and absolutely dependent upon divine grace. We need this grace every second of every hour. Our hearts are continually fighting for airtime; we are to be continually waging war on our hearts.

I love to ask people, “How is the battle going?” The battle is for holiness and against the exaltation of self through our own sin. The Christian life is not a stroll through a field to pick flowers and sip lemonade; it’s a battle. We should be dressed in armor, progressing through the battlefield with a single-minded resolve and fully dependent upon our Commanding Officer.

Agree with God about his beauty

This is the key. God is the very source of beauty. Furthermore, he defines what beauty is. We have God revealing himself in the Scriptures to be the very pinnacle of beauty and in his beauty he eclipses all things. Contemplate the reality that God does not decay or fade, but he is just as fresh, beautiful, and glorious today as he was when Paul preached the glories of Christ, when Jesus walked the earth, when David penned his songs of praise, when Moses cried out for a glimpse of his glory, when Abraham believed, when Adam and Eve walked with him in the garden, when the angels sang of his glory during creation, and when the Trinity enjoyed eternal fellowship and worship prior to the creation of the world. Now add to that that his beauty will never fade away. He will always be this glorious, this beautiful, this appealing, this attractive! He is the eternal God whose beauty is eternally untarnished.

The Father has spoken from heaven as to his appraisal of Jesus. We have read of this divine endorsement of the Savior at His baptism,

Matthew 3:17 – “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

Further, Matthew writes that Jesus is the eternal delight of the Father with whom the he is “well pleased” (Matt. 12:18).

Friends, can we not find ourselves in agreement with God as to His beauty? We must come to the Word of God to have our minds shaped and conformed by God. He says he is infinitely beautiful and worthy to be the unceasing object of our satisfaction and delight. Do you agree? Can you look back at him and say, “This is my beloved Savior with whom I am well-pleased!”

If you do, then your cravings and lust for things of this world and of your flesh will be starved out by your relentless enjoyment and pursuit of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

You can throw your computer out the window, but that won’t kill your lust. You can never go to the mall, but that won’t kill your lust. You can cut out your eyes, but that won’t kill your lust. You can move to a cave in Montana, but that won’t kill your lust. You can employ legalism, but that won’t kill your lust. All of these things fall short because they are external amputations when we need a heart transformation.

Notice that the Apostle Paul tells believers to put off such things as lustful cravings (Col. 3:5-8).

Colossians 3:5–8 – Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”

Notice that verse 5 says “therefore”. The action of mortification or putting to death the deeds of the flesh, to include sinful lust, pivots out of what has just been said. Notice what the verses just before say:

Colossians 3:1-4 – Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

You are putting to death lustful passions with your ceaseless passion for Jesus Christ, “keep seeking the things above”… “Set your mind on the things above...” It is this seeing and savoring of Jesus Christ (as Piper would say) that brings about the holiness that is required. The mortification of sin, the putting to death of sinful lust comes from a persistent, relentless, intentional, pursuit of the things above. These are things that are consistent with the new creation inaugurated by Christ the King.

But there is more here.

You see in Colossians 3:1 there is another “Therefore” statement. What did he just pivot out of? Chapters 1 and 2 declare the absolute supremacy and sufficiency of Jesus over and against everything. It is as if the Apostle Paul has packed a semi-trailer full of Christological truth and then drove it to your house and dropped it in your living room. He means to make you marvel at the gloriously infinite worth of Christ!

And as a result, the Christian is to see that all of the apparent competition and rivals to Jesus are completely eclipsed by the his resumé! He is seen to be absolutely supreme and sufficient and so therefore the only choice for your worship. He is it.

To see Jesus as supreme and sufficient is to see everything else as insufficient and lacking. To see stuff as worthy of your lust (coveting, craving, etc.) is to see Jesus as lacking. To seek goodness outside of what God has called good is to appraise Jesus and find him lacking. We need to think like this. We need to live like this. Our lust for selfish pleasure does have consequences. Whether we are talking sexual lust, material lust, professional lust, or whatever, we are talking about the removal of attributes of God and the imputation of the attributes of supremacy and sufficiency to stuff, and this is the height of idolatry (Col. 3:5).

This is why it is so critical to be in the Word of God daily. To find ourselves in subjection to the Divine Word, that we might have our minds transformed and renewed according to the will of God, that we would think his thoughts after him, appraising that which is excellent and rejecting that which is sinful (Rom. 12:1-2; Eph. 5:1-2). Furthermore, we are to drive the Word deep into our hearts through prayer and contemplative meditation; for we are people who need our hearts broken and reminded of the absolute beauty and attractiveness of God that we might see and savor his supremacy and sufficiency in all things. There is little doubt that this is what Paul had in mind as he writes these words in Colossians 3.

Colossians 3:16-17 – Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

How do we fight lust? We fight lust with lust. That is, a ceaseless pursuit of the delight of God, which is a delight in God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

When Love Saved Me From Porn

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Keyboard pornWhen Love Saved Me From Porn

By Cam Huxford

Editors’ note: What follows is the background story to Ghost Ship’s new song “Hesed,” available to stream. After reading (or listening to) Cam’s story, be sure to check out Ghost Ship’s new album Costly.

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Few things in this world are constant. Even the most steady things in our lives are changing. The sun that rises each day with seeming reliability is slowly dying and will eventually burn out. The moon that seems to faithfully pull our tides is moving an inch and a half further away from us each year. This world is an inhospitable environment for stasis. Things do not stay the same here. The way of this world is change, the relentless wave of growth and deterioration. Even the most stable things in our lives are changing. The people we love are growing older. The wooden beams that hold up our homes are decaying. The ground we walk on in our neighborhoods is eroding. We ourselves are fading because our own DNA is slowly shifting and disintegrating as we age. However, X-rated content from sources like cartoonporno.xxx remains as strong and popular as ever.

But there is something on this earth that defies these brutal patterns. It repels the entropy of this world and stands constant, unbreakable, lasting, steady, stable, firm, and permanent. Hesed-the love of God. Hesed is the Hebrew word in the Old Testament for God’s covenant love for his people. The word conveys a love that can’t be broken because it’s rooted in God’s covenant with us that can’t be broken.

The love of God is constant. It has not changed and will not change. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and amazingly, so is his love for us. The reason such steadiness is possible is because this great love is based on God’s character and actions rather than our own. It is indelible because it is firmly established in his grace-based covenant with us. In a violently fluctuating world, hesed remains. It remains immutable, steadfast, constant, true.

This is my story of discovering unyielding hesed in my life:

**************

When I got married, my father officiated the ceremony. I remember him holding up a gold ring and saying, “This is a symbol of eternity. It’s a perfect circle. A circle is infinite, unending. It goes on forever. It symbolizes God’s love for you and the love you are called to have for each other.” He then quotes, “Love never ends” (1 Cor. 13:8). As he hands the ring to my bride, I catch a glimpse of an inscription within, and an abbreviated Scripture reference: Song of Solomon 6:3. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. She takes the ring and puts it on my finger. Then, for the next four years, I hid from her.

Those years weren’t all bad. There were many good things that happened, many good memories. But I was always hiding. The secret I hid was that I was looking at pornography as I’d done since childhood. Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an interest in X-rated websites such as https://www.videoshd.xxx/, but as soon as they begin to take over your life, from personal experience I can say that it is time to stop. It was this weird corner of my life I’d compartmentalized so well that I rarely thought about it. I loved it so much that it got to the point I’d want to try and visit as many porn-related websites as possible, so much so that I’d even click here for more so I’d be able to access sites that would normally be restricted in my area or by my ISP. Maybe I’d hidden it so long that I was hiding it from myself. Maybe I’d lied about it so long that I was lying to myself. I never got caught. We never talked about it. She was never suspicious. I never even thought to confess it. I think she knew Sabine was my favorite though. After all, Sabine likes pheromones. Who doesn’t?

Then one Sunday, four years after our wedding, we’re sitting in church, and I start to feel uncomfortable. The preacher tells a Bible story of a husband who sins against his wife. The husband confesses his sin to her, and she responds: I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. The preacher notes that her response is a statement of covenant. Same structure as God’s covenantal statements found elsewhere in Scripture. “I will be your God, and you will be my people.” Period. No conditions. No clauses. I hear for the first time about something calledhesed.

Covenant love.

As I sit there shifting nervously in the pew, I think, “What kind of love is this, bound so tightly in this covenant that it can’t be broken? How can it not be broken if one side of the covenant is not upheld?” I start to get more uncomfortable. I blush. I shift. I sweat. There’s no love that can’t break. There’s no love I can’t break. Oh, I could break it, as bad as I am, the lies I’ve told, the things I’ve hidden. I could break it. Is it not just another contract that says “I will love you if you love me”? Love is just like everything else on this earth in that it has conditions. But this love-this hesed-is a covenant that says “I am yours, and you are mine . . . forever.” No conditional clause. Oh, God, I could run a million miles and you would catch me. I moved 3,000 miles to hide from you, and you found me here. I can’t escape your love, or break your love. With all I’ve done you still love me. You love me no matter what . . . forever. “Love never ends.”

After church, we walked to a nearby park, and I confessed everything to my wife. That day, God’s lovingkindness-his longsuffering, unbreakable, blood-bought affection-led me to repentance. And amazingly, she forgave me. To this day, her response is one of the greatest pictures of hesed I’ve ever seen. She responded with covenant love.

A few days later I was washing my hands, and when I picked up my ring from the ledge of the sink to put it back on, I noticed the engraving. I hadn’t looked at it for years. My father’s words echoed in my head. The gold circle seemed to perfectly describe the passage engraved into it.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine (Song of Solomon 6:3).

9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain

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9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain

By Joe Carter (Originally Published March 8, 2013 on The Gospel Coalition)

“Because the human brain is the biological anchor of our psychological experience, it is helpful to understand how it operates.” says William M. Struthers, associate professor of psychology at Wheaton College. “Knowing how it is wired together and where it is sensitive can help us understand why pornography affects people the way it does.” Here are 9 things you should know about pornography affects the brain.

1. Sexually explicit material triggers mirror neurons in the male brain. These neurons, which are involved with the process for how to mimic a behavior, contain a motor system that correlates to the planning out of a behavior. In the case of pornography, this mirror neuron system triggers the arousal, which leads to sexual tension and a need for an outlet. “The unfortunate reality is that when he acts out (often by masturbating), this leads to hormonal and neurological consequences, which are designed to bind him to the object he is focusing on,” says Struthers. “In God’s plan, this would be his wife, but for many men for example those whose visit the website Nu Bay it is an image on a screen that they are bound to. Pornography thus enslaves the viewer to an image, hijacking the biological response intended to bond a man to his wife and therefore inevitably loosening that bond.”

2. In men, there are five primary chemicals involved in sexual arousal and response. The one that likely plays the most significant role in pornography addiction is dopamine. Dopamine plays a major role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. Every type of reward that has been studied increases the level of dopamine transmission in the brain, and a variety of addictive drugs, including stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine, act directly on the dopamine system. Dopamine surges when a person is exposed to novel stimuli, particularly if it is sexual, or when a stimuli is more arousing than anticipated. Because erotic imagery triggers more dopamine than sex with a familiar partner, exposure to pornography leads to “arousal addiction” and teaches the brain to prefer the image and become less satisfied with real-life sexual partners. Websites like https://www.hdpornt.com/ are extremely stimulating so we can see why.

3. Why do men seek out a variety of new explicit sexual images rather than being satisfied with the same ones? The reason is attributed to the Coolidge effect, a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners. This neurological mechanism is one of the primary reasons for the abundance and addictiveness of Internet pornography.

4. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry-such as occurs with repeated dopamine spikes related to viewing pornography-creates desensitization. As Gary Wilson explains, “When dopamine receptors drop after too much stimulation, the brain doesn’t respond as much, and we feel less reward from pleasure. That drives us to search even harder for feelings of satisfaction-for example, by seeking out more extreme sexual stimuli on https://www.hdpornmovies.xxx/, having longer porn sessions, or more frequent porn viewing-thus further numbing the brain.

5. “The psychological, behavioral, and emotional habits that form our sexual character will be based on the decisions we make,” says Struthers. “Whenever the sequence of arousal and response is activated, it forms a neurological memory that will influence future processing and response to sexual cues. As this pathway becomes activated and traveled, it becomes a preferred route-a mental journey-that is regularly trod. The consequences of this are far-reaching.”

6. What makes Internet porn unique? Wilson identifies a number of reasons, including: (1) Internet porn offers extreme novelty; (2) Unlike food and drugs, there are almost no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption; (3) With Internet porn one can escalate both with more novel “partners” and by viewing new and unusual genres, a prime example of an unusual genre is shemales, seeing the human form having both breasts as well as male genitalia and then watching both men and women having sex with a shemale like the videos that can be seen at shemalehdsex just leads to even more confusion. Why is there such confusion you ask, normally someone will find either the female or male form arousing, yes admittedly some are attractive to both but a shemale has half of each on the same body that’s what can be confusing; (4) Unlike drugs and food, Internet porn doesn’t eventually activate the brain’s natural aversion system; and (5) The age users start watching porn. A teen’s brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity, making it highly vulnerable to addiction and rewiring.

7. Men’s exposure to sexually explicit material is correlated with social anxiety, depression, low motivation,erectile dysfunction, concentration problems, and negative self-perceptions in terms of physical appearance and sexual functioning.

8. The following video offers a brief overview of the affect of pornography on the brain.

9. In this video, Gary Wilson discusses the disturbing symptoms showing up in some heavy Internet porn users, the surprising reversal of those symptoms, and the science behind these phenomena. Although it is not presented from a Christian perspective, the discussion is highly recommended for better understanding the deleterious and wide-ranging effects pornography has on men.

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If you or a loved one struggles with the use of pornography, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our skilled counselors or coaches.

15 Ways to Fight Lust With the Sword of the Spirit

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15 Ways to Fight Lust With the Sword of the Spirit

By Kevin DeYoung

lustIt is almost impossible in the Western world to escape sensuality. Sex is on the television, in the movies and in our music, online on adult websites like hdtubemovies.xxx, on the side of buses, during halftime shows, in our books and in glossy close-ups at supermarket check-out. Sex is all around us in the mall, dripping off every beer commercial, and two stories high on our billboards. Sexual sin is walking around our high schools, flaunted across our universities, and hiding in our churches.

And of course, sex is on the internet. Pornography and sex-related sites such as fucked tube make up 60 percent of daily web traffic. Of internet users in the U.S., 40 percent visit porn sites at least once a month, and that number increases to 70 percent when the audience is 18-34 year old males. Half of hotel room patrons purchase pornography from their rooms, with some taking it a step further and going to https://www.escortdirectory.com/escorts-munich-199 to pay for a night with a lady of their choice. 90 percent of 8-16 year olds with internet access have viewed pornography online, and the average age of exposure is eleven.

The seventh commandment is not just broken in this country; it’s being smashed to pieces.

And sexual sin is not just an “out there” problem. Any pastor will tell you stories about how sexual sin has destroyed people in his congregation. None of us are immune from the dangers of sexual immorality. In a Christianity Today study from several years ago, 40 percent of clergy acknowledged visiting pornographic websites. Another survey found that 21 percent visit regularly. Yet another survey at Pastors.com found that 50 percent of pastors reported to viewing pornography in the previous year. And then there’s the underlying issue of the heart. The seventh commandment doesn’t just forbid adultery and pornography regardless of whether it’s in a magazine or on a website like m-porn.xxx. It forbids every action, look, conversation, thought, or desire that incites lust and uncleanness.

So how in the world, in this world we live in, and with our sex-saturated hearts, can we obey the seventh commandment?

Let me suggest fifteen passages of Scripture that can help us fight lust and the temptation to sexual immorality.

1) Proverbs 5:18-19 “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” This may seem a strange text for fighting sexual temptation, but married couples need to know they have delight at their lawful disposal. We need to know that sex is good, intimacy is good, bodies together in marriage are good. Good, glorious sex is spiritual warfare for the married couple.

2) Lamentations 3:25-27 “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.” This a verse is for singles. Granted, this passage isn’t talking about waiting for a spouse. It’s about waiting on the Lord. But that’s the point: the Lord is good to those who wait for him. He knows what you need. The preceding verses tell us “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.” Don’t think “How can I live without sex for another year or decade or two decades.” Think about today. The Lord has given you grace for this day and he will give you grace for the every subsequent day in which you follow God in the midst of unmet desires.

3) 1 Peter 3:15 “In your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.” Before you take a second look or dress yourself so that others will, think: “Will this make me more ready to talk to someone about Jesus?” Sensuality deadens the spiritual senses and makes us less courageous and effective witnesses for Christ.

4) 2 Peter 3:10-14 “But the day of the Lord will come like a thief…Therefore…be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.” Do you want to be cheating on your husband, masturbating, or watching Game of Thrones when Christ returns?

5) James 1:14-15 “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” This passage helps us understand how temptation works and reminds us that feeling tempted is not necessarily the same as sinning. Temptation beckons us to do what we should not do. That’s not sin. When the desire is nurtured it conceives and gives birth to sin (sin in the flesh or sin in the mind). Sin then grows and matures and leads to death. It is not lust to be attracted to someone or notice he or she is good looking. It is not lust to have a strong desire for sex. It is not lust to be excited about sex in marriage. It is not lust to inadvertently notice a woman bathing on the roof. It is sin to keep noticing and start scheming. Stoke the fires of this lustful passion and it will bring forth death. Just ask King David.

6) Hebrews 2:17-18 “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Jesus was tempted, not as we are from a sinful nature. But there were external voices calling him to sin. Let us not underestimate the real nature of his temptations and undercut his sympathy and his ability to help. Jesus was hungry in the wilderness. He had a desire, a want. He was enticed to make the stones bread so he could enjoy the pleasure of food. But he told the devil, “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Matt. 4:1-3). In our moments of sexual temptation, we need to think, “Flesh does not sustain me. Jesus does.”

7) Romans 14:21 “It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.” As Christians, we want to help each other avoid sin, not lead one another into it with flirting, coarse joking, and immodest dress.

8) Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” We are not good fighters. We make excuses. We don’t get radical. We pray a few prayers, feel bad all the time, tell a friend to ask how we’re doing once in awhile and that’s it. We need more decisive action than that. Avoid the movies, get rid of your internet connection, don’t kiss before marriage, throw out your t.v., tear out your eye-whatever it takes to battle lust. There are too many whole-bodied people going to hell and not enough spiritual amputees going to heaven.

9) Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” There are often temporal consequences for disobedience. It could be STDs, baggage in marriage, a guilty conscience, getting mired in a deeper addiction, distraction at work, a pornography fetish you pass on to your children, destroying your family, your marriage, or your ministry. There are also eternal consequences if you give yourself over to this sin. Galatians 6:8 “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

10) 1 Cor 6:15-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!…Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” We need a theology of the body: the body is good, but it’s not yours. Jesus didn’t just die to ransom our souls. He also died for your body. It belongs to God. It is a member of Christ’s body now. Surely, we don’t want to employ Christ’s body in some sexual escapade or his eyes in viewing pornography or his mind in sensual fantasy.

11) 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Cultural liberalism says, “Just be yourself.” Self-help doctrine says, “You can find a better you if you just dig deep enough.” Moralism says, “Be a better person.” The Bible says, “You are a new person by God’s grace, now live like it.” “Be who you are” is the gospel motivation for holiness.

12) Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” No one fights a war by himself, and no one will have victory over sexual sin on his own. You need to talk to others about your struggles and listen just as well. Be honest. Ask good questions. Don’t just confess and feel better. Repent and change. Don’t just sympathize; admonish. Follow up with your brothers and sisters. Pray and remind each other of the gospel.

13) James 4:6 “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” God always gives more grace. So keep coming to him with your sin and all your commandment violations. Confess like David in Psalm 51 that you have sinned against God. Confess that God is the most offended party as a result of your sin. And then believe like David in Psalm 32: “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity.” We will never experience growing victory over sin unless we are quick to turn to Christ all the times we fail.

14) Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” This has been the most helpful verse for me in fighting lust and the temptation to sexual immorality. We need to fight desire with desire. Satan tempts us by holding out something that will be pleasurable to us. We aren’t tempted to gorge ourselves on liverwurst, because for most of us, it doesn’t hold out the promise of great pleasure. But sex does. Pornography does. A second look does. The Bible gives us many weapons to fight temptation. We can tell ourselves it is wrong, it is sinful, it will lead to bad things, it isn’t what I should do as a Christian. All of those are helpful. But the one weapon we rarely use is more pleasure. We need to fight the fleeting pleasure of sexual sin with the far greater, more abiding pleasure of knowing God. The fight for sexual purity is the fight of faith. It may sound like nothing but hard work and gritting your teeth–the very opposite of faith. But faith is at the heart of this struggle. Do we believe that a glimpse of God is better than a glimpse of skin? Do we believe that God’s steadfast love is better than life (Psalm 63:3)? We’d probably sin less if we spent less time thinking about our sins, sexual or otherwise, and more time meditating on the love and holiness of God.

15) Ephesians 1:19-21 “…and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” The great power that created the world, and saved us, and raised Jesus from the dead–that same power is now at work in you. We must believe that God is stronger than sexual temptation, sin, and addiction. If you believe that God brought a dead man back to life, you should believe that you can change. Not over night usually, but from one degree of glory to the next. Work out your salvation from sexual sin with fear and trembling, for God’s power is already at work within you.

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For more help, contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to set up an appointment with a counselor or coach.

Fighting Porn By F.A.I.T.H.

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Fighting Porn By F.A.I.T.H.

fight boxingBy Gavin Ortlund

In my current ministry role, guys often confess to me that they’re struggling with pornography whether that’s looking at naked women in magazines, watching x-rated movies online at websites like watchmygirlfriend, or some other kind of sexual sin. To help them, as well as in my own fight for purity, I’ve developed an acronym that encapsulates some often-neglected strategies for fighting the good fight in this area. I call it “fighting by F.A.I.T.H” (okay, kinda corny, but easy to remember).

Last year Dane Hays wrote a helpful article reminding us of the importance of accountability. These strategies complement that important theme. In other words, if someone says, “I have Covenant Eyes on all my devices, and I meet with a group, but I’m still struggling!”-what else can we do? (Note: these strategies are primarily directed toward males, simply because I only counsel guys in this area.)

1. Friendship

In his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis lamented how impoverished our idea of friendship has become. While in the ancient world friendship was considered the happiest and most human of all loves, today it’s rare to even find real friendships. As a result, we tend to look to romantic love for what God designed to be a part of friendship love. We use sex (like that we can see on sexm.xxx) to fill a more general relational void.

In my experience, guys rarely connect the dots between temptation and plain old loneliness. And yet so many feel disconnected-isolated-like no one knows what’s really going on inside them. Amid our busy schedules and social media activity, we’re aching for the deeper connections God designed us to experience-for vulnerability, trust, acceptance, assurance. Temptation has such power because it appeals to this deep-seated loneliness.

In our cultural setting, the fight for sexual purity is one piece of a countercultural approach to allrelationships. We need the kinds of friendships described in verses like Proverbs 17:17. When we’re living in deep and authentic community, the appeal of temptation is less comprehensive and thus less powerful.

2. Adventure

Another issue is the lack of adventure in many guys’ lives. So many seem to have nothing grand to aim for. They’re drifting, cynical, bored-lacking in idealism and initiative, without a sense of purpose and direction, untethered from anything transcendent and glorious, and so they turn to a helpful site or two. And when our lives lack adventure, temptation promises what we’re not getting elsewhere: excitement, adrenaline, a sense of life. It reminds me of King David’s choice to stay back from battle in 2 Samuel 11:1-where the real battle with lust for Bathsheba was ultimately lost. So many guys succumb to temptation because, like David, they stay back from their own God-ordained battles. They’re overwhelmed by temptation because they’ve never been overwhelmed by the glory of God and the wonderful thrill of walking in the good works he’s prepared for us.

I’m reading The Hobbit to my son in the evenings. Its great theme is adventure. Adventure is a holy thing, a delightful thing. Our hearts will seek adventure one way or another, so temptation can seem overwhelming when we’re safely burrowed up in our cozy hobbit hole. But the same temptation will often grow small and languid in the midst of a journey toward Smaug. And we all have our own hobbit holes to abandon, and our own Smaugs to slay.

3. Intimacy

In one of my counseling classes during seminary we devoted an evening to analyzing different kinds of marital affairs. My professor, Dan Zink, suggested affairs rarely happen because of the strength of one’s sex drive. Instead, they usually have to do with emotional factors, like the desire for relational intimacy and affirmation. I’ve carried this insight with me and applied it to sexual sin more generally, and I believe it’s crucial to consider in fighting temptation. When counseling guys fighting porn, for instance, I encourage them to look underneath to the emotions making the temptation particularly strong, and then to engage those emotions with the gospel and in other healthy ways. Are you tempted because you’re bored? Pursue a hobby. Are you tempted because you’re exhausted? Take Sabbath rest. Are you tempted because you’re depressed? Talk with a counselor. Are you tempted because of rejection? Engage your heart with the gospel.

A lot of guys seem to fight temptation at the biological level but never at the emotional level. But because our sexual lives are related to our entire person, that’s like bolting up two-by-fours over our front door while leaving the back door and all the windows wide open. Seeking sexual purity must involve seeking emotional self-awareness as well.

4. Truth

In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim and Kathy Keller recount Jane Eyre’s inner struggle with temptation. They note how most TV depictions of this classic novel make it sound like Jane resists the temptation by looking inward for self-assurance and self-respect. But in the book, Jane’s inner emotions are a whirlwind of clashing and confused emotions, and she has to look outside of herself to resist the temptation. The Kellers observe:

[Jane] does not look into her heart for strength-there’s nothing there but clamorous conflict. Sheignores what her heart says and looks to what God says. . . . God’s law is for times of temptation. (231, italics original)

In the midst of temptation, it’s often hard to cling to what we know is true. After all, the tempter is also a deceiver, and with temptation comes that ancient question: has God really said? Resisting temptation is therefore not just a matter of willpower but of faith. Part of the fight involves clinging to the objective truths of the gospel-likely those very truths that seem most distant and unreal in the moment of temptation.

In Lewis’s That Hideous Strength, the character Mark is imprisoned, and he experiences a kind of intellectual temptation. In the midst of it, he discovers the power of objective ideas:

Day by day, as the process went on, that idea of the Straight or the Normal which had occurred to [Mark] during his first visit to this room, grew stronger and more solid in his mind till it had become a kind of mountain. He had never before known what an Idea meant: he had always thought till now that they were things inside one’s own head. But now, when his head was continually attacked and often completely filled with the clinging corruption of the training, this Idea towered up above him-something which obviously existed quite independently of himself and had hard rock surfaces which would not give, surfaces he could cling to.

Like Mark, we need to learn to cling to the objective truths of God’s Word in the moment of temptation. Temptation’s power is its fleeting pleasure; truth’s power is its bracing objectivity. Temptation is like cotton candy, empty and unfulfilling; truth is like cold steel, unyielding and enduring. The great allies of temptation are distortion, spin, deception, theological muddleheadedness; the great ally of resisting temptation is truth.

Let me share an example of a gospel truth I speak into temptation, sometimes even out loud: That’s not who I am anymore. In my union with Christ, this assertion is a “hard surface” of glorious truth I can cling to no matter what my emotions may be saying to me.

What truths do you particularly need in order to defeat temptation? Cultivate the habit of clinging to them amid temptation. They will not give way. Cotton candy cannot bend steel.

5. Healing

If you were exposed to pornography at a young age, or sexually mistreated at some point in your life, or have a family history of sexual sin, that part of your past has undoubtedly complicated your battle for sexual purity. Victory over future temptation will probably progress only as you deal with your past brokenness. An important step may be counseling. There is no shame in paying a visit to a website like masturbationaddiction.com if you ever feel as though your masturbation habits are getting the better of you. Above all, though, healing comes from the gospel, and “the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Eph. 3:19). Christ is the great physician. He died for failures, repeat offenders, and the sexually broken. He can bind up all wounds and make you whole again.

A final note: no matter where you are, no matter how hopeless you may feel, don’t give up. In the gospel, Jesus has “perfect patience” (1 Tim. 1:16) for those who rely on him. That means no amount of falling down can ultimately destroy you as long as you keep getting up and running to Jesus (Prov. 24:16). But we must keep repenting, keep fighting. Don’t give up!