What to do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Listen

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What to do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Listen

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

One of the most frustrating issues to face in marriage is having a spouse who doesn’t seem to listen to you. And it’s a common problem; many spouses complain that their husband or wife just doesn’t retain important information–even to the point of not remembering it was discussed in the first place.

If this sounds like your marriage, don’t worry; there are several mindset shifts and strategies you can use to improve the situation and get yourself heard when it’s most critical. Want to know more? Read on.

For the full article, check out the main post.

If you would like help individually or as a couple with your listening and communication skills, give CornerStone Family Services a call at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Time to Listen

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If you would like someone to listen and care for you, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

When Someone is Going Through a Storm

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storm-hug

If you are going through a storm and would like to spend time with someone who will listen with empathetic ears, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to connect with a counselor or coach.

Listening When You Can’t Possibly Hear Everyone

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Listening When You Can’t Possibly Hear Everyone

By Sam Rainer

If you’re like me, you want your voice heard, even at the top levels of leadership. I may not be able to have lunch with the President of the United States, but I do want to feel like he’s listening to me. I don’t believe it’s an unreasonable expectation of followers to want their voices heard by top leaders.

As a leader, you should want to be at the ground level. All leaders should listen carefully, with posture of learning. But you can’t possibly be with everyone all the time. If you lead a church of more than 75 people (the median church size), then it’s tough to listen to everyone. Even if you tried, decisions that should take weeks could end up taking years. You would become a poor leader because of an inability to steward time.

Some leaders use listening as an excuse not to make a decision. They hide their lack of vision, lack of discernment, or lack of courage to make a decision behind the guise of listening to people. But that’s not most leaders. Most leaders should listen more.

How can you listen when you can’t possibly hear everyone?

Use discernment. Not everyone wants to be heard on every issue. At any given point, only a portion of people will have strong opinions. Some won’t have an opinion. Others may not have the expertise or experience to weigh in on a particular topic. It’s not necessary to get everyone’s take all the time. The best listening leaders know how to steward time.

Be accessible. You can’t be available to everyone, but you can be accessible. Constant availability is a trap. Available church leaders are in one spot, on demand and at the command of others’ schedules. Accessibility means you’re reachable and approachable. Accessible church leaders have an intentional strategy to be among as many people as possible, but on their own schedules.

Take time. If you need an extra month to track the pulse of the congregation, take it. Dragging out a decision for a year is indecisive leadership. Taking an extra week or month may mean the difference of respecting the voice of the congregation or not.

Utilize others. Use staff, deacons, or other key leaders to be the—constant—eyes and ears. You can’t be everywhere, but you can have ears listening in many places for you.

Don’t hide. Leadership is a gift from followers. Don’t selfishly hoard it by hiding. Hold town hall gatherings. Attend committee meetings. Visit Sunday school classes. Hang out. Simply be among the people and listen. Perhaps people will talk about how you listen.

Follow up. Lastly, one of the best ways to listen is to follow up personally with detractors. Winning them over can go a long way for future work, and it also makes a statement to the congregation that you’re willing to hear all sides.

You can’t possibly listen to everyone. But you can make sure everyone has a voice.

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If you would like to learn more, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.

Ears Plugged and Mad at the Silence

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Ears plugged to God

When life gets chaotic and painful, the Bible encourages us to cry out to God. Sometimes, when we cry out it can seem as though we are getting a response of silence.  Is God broken? Is He giving us the silent treatment?

Before we get to anxious and angry, it may be wise to step back and do a self-diagnosis.  Are we only seeking Him out when we experience trouble? If so, maybe He is speaking but we just don’t have our ears unplugged or tuned into hearing Him.

The Bible does encourage us to talk with God in our distress, but it also encourages daily communication with Him, even during the mundane and good seasons of life.  Not only do we learn to follow Him outside of times of distress, we also practice keeping our ears unplugged and open to Him.  By engaging God regularly we help prepare ourselves to hear Him in our distress, too.