Fighting Fair

By Tim and Joy Downs

Pick out a board game—any game will do. Now take off the lid, turn it over, and search for these words:

“Roll the dice to see who goes first. Play proceeds clockwise … ” All games include directions to make sure everyone knows whose turn it is. But conflict, as you recall, is a game without rules. In a disagreement it isn’t always easy to know who goes first, who comes next, and who just got left out.

There’s a simple set of instructions that can help create order out of this chaos. In the game of conflict, the order of play goes like this: Listen long; then speak short—and don’t forget to pass the dice.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It’s not. Being a good listener is hard. When you do it right, the game proceeds nicely and both of you get to play; when you spend too much time speaking to listen well, each of you thinks it’s his turn and both players are scrambling for the dice.

Here are some helpful suggestions about listening to improve the order of play in your next disagreement.

For the full article, check out the original blog post.

If you would like help in your marriage or relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.