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Articles from March 2017

12 Ways to Help a Teen Handle the Emotional Challenges of Moving

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12 Ways to Help a Teen Handle the Emotional Challenges of Moving

By Redfin.com

Relocation is tough for every member of a family, for example, as an adult you have to look into every little detail of the place that you are moving to. As an adult you might have spent ages looking at places to move to such as Essex homes Greenvile & Spartanburg. Some adults take ages deciding where they want to go to though, others fall in love with the first house they see. There’s other things though that adults need to consider when moving. This might be making sure that you have the cheapest energy provider (which you can do through a company like Simply Switch), or checking where the nearest school is for your kids. But moving is especially hard for the teenager that are leaving behind a school, friends, clubs and other commitments, as well as perhaps the only home he or she has ever known. Even if the move is for the good of the family, it can be difficult for a teen to imagine living anywhere else.

It’s normal for your teen to feel upset, and there are ways to make the process easier before and after the move. Let this guide lead the way to a healthy, fresh start for the entire family – without overlooking the genuine heartache of leaving a familiar home.

Before the Move: Helping Your Teen Say Goodbye

1. Give Them Notice

First, give your teen as much notice about the move as possible. It’s important to let him or her adjust to the idea – don’t put it off in an effort to make it quick and painless. The fact is, it’s going to be painful no matter what you do, and it’s important to respect the way your teen feels. Sit him or her down, explain that the best option for your family is to make this journey together, and then listen. Be receptive to any kind of response, whether it’s excitement, shock, sadness or anger. Let your teen know you understand it will be difficult to leave, and that you’ll do everything you can to make it a little easier.

2. Focus on the Positives

When you’re young, it’s easy to dwell on the negatives, so help direct the focus to the positives. Are you moving from a small town to a city where there will be more to see and do? Maybe you’re moving to a bigger house, or to a house with a real backyard. Maybe it can even be a fresh start for your teen. If he or she has had any academic woes – be it grades, friends or behavioral issues – a brand new school with new teachers and classmates could be a great way to move forward. Don’t minimize the loss, but help the silver linings shine through.

3. Get Them Involved in Househunting

Get your teen involved in the moving process as much as possible. Let him or her help you house hunt and check out potential neighborhoods. If you’re moving cross-country, have him or her help you look at homes for sale online and ask for feedback. Scope out neighborhoods via satellite cams; see what it would be like to make the walk from your new house to school! You may even consider asking your real estate agent to take and send some recent photos of local schools, malls, skate parks, and movie theaters to share with your teen. Sometimes, it really helps to create familiarity. Above all, the real estate agent that you choose can actually have a profound influence on the househunting process. Consequently, you should do plenty of research on real estate websites like Reali to find an experienced real estate agent in your area who understands your needs, as well as the local amenities, and can help your family to find the property of your dreams.

Furthermore, keep in mind that your teen may develop early attachments to potential new homes, so remind him or her of the need to shop around. If they become upset over what you ultimately decide is best, let them vent. Explain that you understand how frustrating it must be to have so much changing so quickly, not to mention limited control over most of it. Focus on what he or she can control. For example, he or she will have a brand new bedroom to decorate any way they like.

4. Keep the Mood Light

As you gradually pack up your belongings, keep the mood as light and positive as possible. If packing is a struggle for you (e.g. you don’t have enough boxes), then make sure you go to a site like www.teacrate.com to help you keep your packing easy and efficient. Don’t start packing up his or her stuff without permission, but offer to help so you can make the process less overwhelming. Keep in mind you’ll need certain transcripts and medical records for the new school, so try to keep them handy but safe so you won’t scramble later.

5. Throw a Going Away Party

Help your teens say goodbye to friends and neighbors any way you can. A great idea is to throw a farewell party – maybe even a packing party if you could use the extra help! If you’re moving especially far, it may comfort him or her to devote a weekend afternoon to driving through your favorite parts of town. Reminisce about the past, but don’t overlook the excitement in making new memories in a great new place.

After the Move: Helping Your Teen Adapt and Move Forward

1. Stay Upbeat

It’s no secret that the moving process is incredibly stressful, and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed by it at times. But try your best to stay upbeat in general, especially around your teen. He or she will likely be feeling a rollercoaster of emotions: sadness over leaving home, excitement to see the new place, apprehension about a new school, and countless other anxieties. Your goal has to be to keep focusing on the positives, even amid the chaos.

2. Get His or Her Room Set up First

Give a little extra priority to getting your teen’s room organized. It’s important that with all the other changes, he or she can settle in surrounded by familiar objects. When it comes to the rest of the house, make unpacking a family activity and make it fun! If you have family in the area, recruit their help and order some pizza and play some music. Talk about which park you can’t wait to explore or which restaurant you’re eager to try. Ask for your teen’s opinion when you need an extra set of eyes. Find ways to laugh about the cabinet door that unexpectedly broke and the tacky wallpaper you’ll have to tear down. And don’t forget to take photos – you’re already creating new memories, so document them!

3. Find Your Teen a Peer Mentor

Try to network with your real estate agent and neighbors to see if you can find your teen an early peer mentor before starting school. It doesn’t have to be a student in the same grade level and it may actually help to meet someone a little older. Upperclassmen are likely to have advice about classes and teachers, know more people (and probably have a couple friends that are your teen’s age), and be able to look out for someone a grade or two younger. Your teen may feel unsure about the idea at first, so let him or her know that the door to met a potential new friend is open whenever he or she is ready. Offer to give the pair a lift to lunch some day. Give your teen the mentor’s contact information (whatever you’ve been given approval to offer, be it a phone number, Facebook page, or email) and encourage him or her to use it whenever they’re ready.

4. Register Him or Her For School Right Away

Get your teen signed up for school as soon as you can, though depending on the distance you traveled and when you arrive to your new home you may want to allow a long weekend to rest. If you move in the summer or during an extended break, don’t put off getting registration done – there could be assigned readings or other projects to consider, and you don’t want to risk your teen starting off immediately behind his or her new classmates. Find out what you can about the school’s dress code and any other major policies you’ll need to know ahead of time. You may even be able to take a tour of the school and meet some of the teachers. The more prepared your teen can feel about a brand new school, the better.

5. Find Local Activities

Look into local activities to get your teen involved in. Maybe he or she is eager to get back to a favorite sport, or interested in trying something totally new. Check with the new school for programs, as well as local youth, community, and religious centers. While you’re at it, sign yourself up for a group or class. It doesn’t have to be a major time commitment, but it sets the right example to your teen as well as gives you another opportunity to network within your new community.

6. Communicate Openly

Keep the lines of communication open throughout the settling in process. Check in to see how your teen is adjusting – especially if he or she has already started school – and continue to be receptive to however he or she feels. Allow time to vent, but help find the bright spots, especially on bad days. You want your teen to be able to feel comfortable coming to you to talk, but you also want to reassure him or her that things will get better. If he or she is shutting you out, don’t push for answers but don’t stop asking, either. Constantly remind him or her that you’re available to talk whenever they’re ready, and actively give the opportunity every day.

Encourage your teen to keep in touch with friends back home, but support efforts to spend time with new friends, as well. Offer to let classmates come over after school and to give him or her a lift to weekend activities. Social media will likely be playing a major role for your teen, and unfortunately, a new student can sometimes make for an easy target, so keep an eye out for signs of cyberbullying.

7. Watch for Signs of Depression

Also keep an eye out for signs of depression, and never hesitate to seek professional advice. If your teen just can’t seem to acclimate, going to therapy may help sort out his or her feelings on the move. Let your teen know therapy is an option if he or she wants it, but be careful not to put too much pressure on the issue. It’s important he or she knows it’s not that you think something is “wrong” with them, it’s that you want them to have additional support and guidance.

It’s going to take some time for your teen to adjust to his or her new life. The best thing you can do is continue to be an outlet of support and a listening ear. Soon, you’ll be able to move forward together and truly make the most of your new home.

If you would like help with your teen or moving, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

The “Perfect Couple” Myth

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“A great marriage is not when the “perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” (Dave Meurer)

If you would like help in learning and enjoying your differences with your spouse, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our counselors or coaches.

Infidelity: Does the Root Cause Matter?

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Infidelity: Does the Root Cause Matter?

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Learning that your spouse has had an affair is a jarring, traumatic emotional experience. For the foreseeable future after the discovery (or your spouse’s confession), you’ll go through a deeply painful mourning period. Everything you believed about your life before this knowledge may be shattered, and you may wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust your spouse again. It can be incredibly tough telling if your husband is in love with another woman, or if your wife is sneaking around behind your back and unfortunately, for some couples, the betrayal is all too much to overcome, and their relationship breaks down.

Picking up the pieces after infidelity is incredibly difficult, but it can be done. The question is, can it be done if your spouse isn’t willing to dig into the why behind his or her actions?

WHY WE WANT TO KNOW

If you’ve been betrayed by your spouse, you’re most likely trying to figure out why they made the choice to have an affair. You’re probably asking yourself questions like:

  • Why did my spouse want to cheat?
  • Was I not good enough
  • What does the other person have that I don’t?
  • Was it something I said or did? Or something I didn’t do?
  • Did my spouse feel their needs weren’t being met?
  • What could we have done differently?
  • How can I be sure it won’t happen again?

It might feel tempting to try to answer all these questions (and more) at once. After all, infidelity will rock your marriage to the core, and if you’ve recently learned of an affair, you’re probably trying to decide what the future has in store. Will you be able to work it out? Will you need to end the marriage? What’s going to happen?

It’s normal to want to know what to expect going forward, as much as possible. For this reason, you might be inclined to question your spouse to get to the bottom of the issue. If you can learn the reasons behind the affair, you believe, perhaps that will help you determine your next steps–especially if the two of you want to work toward saving your marriage.

Learning the reasons behind an affair can also be a powerful form of closure. Perhaps you feel like you can’t forgive completely or move forward unless you’ve gotten all the answers from your spouse. But often, spouses who have been unfaithful don’t want to dwell on details of an affair, much less get to the bottom of the reasons why it happened.

If your spouse is holding back or avoiding conversation about the affair, it can create tremendous anxiety for you. Shouldn’t your spouse be willing to open up and answer all your questions? After all, he or she is the one who’s in the wrong…right?

WHY YOUR SPOUSE WON’T DIG DEEPER

When infidelity has occurred, spouses who have committed adultery often aren’t very articulate about what has happened, and don’t have a deep sense of understanding about the internal factors that drove their decisions to engage in the affair. If your spouse is avoiding these conversations, it’s likely he or she lacks insight into the “whys.”

Another motivation he or she might have is shame regarding the series of decisions that led up to this situation. Your spouse isn’t proud of what has happened, and it’s not something they want to repeat. At this point, they’re so bogged down by the shame of what they’ve done that they have a deep desire to move forward rather than wallowing in the past. Answering questions dredges up emotions, mental images, and more questions that your spouse probably doesn’t want to deal with over and over again.

The future seems very, very bright compared to what you’re going through right now. Your spouse is craving that brighter future, away from the dark season you’re in.

All these factors can compel your spouse not to look deeper into the situation at all; they just want to move forward and put all this behind you. The problem is, you might be left feeling like you’re in the dark.

MOVING FORWARD TOGETHER

Can you and your husband or wife move forward without dissecting the reasons behind an affair? Absolutely. But only the two of you can determine whether this path is the best for you. Healing from infidelity is very tough, no matter how you and your spouse choose to approach it.

What matters most is where you’re headed as a couple, not necessarily understanding everything about the past. You can choose to put it behind you and move forward without digging into the details, but it won’t be easy. (Bear in mind that, after an affair, every path to recovery is difficult in its own way–and the answers are different for each couple.)

While it may be possible to heal and move forward without delving into all the reasons behind an affair, keep in mind that lack of open communication can make it more difficult to reestablish trust. If you feel that your spouse’s avoidance of the topic indicates a desire to hide the truth (whether that’s their motivation or not), that’s likely to raise your suspicions and feed resentment.

If you don’t have an open license to discuss how you’re feeling with your spouse or ask him or her questions about what has happened–and have them honestly answer–trust may not be reestablished in your relationship. Infidelity wreaks havoc on the emotions of the injured spouse, and one important avenue to healing is the ability to freely express how you’re feeling and ask questions. This is not to drag your spouse through the mud over what he or she has done, but rather to reach forgiveness and the closure we talked about earlier.

Agreeing together on a commitment to openness will allow your communication to flow more freely. This is key to healing from the affair that has hurt your marriage so deeply. If you are unable to reach this agreement at first, take heart in knowing that it is possible to move forward regardless. But we strongly recommend finding a way to open those lines of communication between the two of you (seeking out a professional counselor can help you to do this).

If you would like help in your marriage or the fall out of infidelity, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Funday Friday: Spring Humor

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Here is some Funday Friday humor that might put a little bounce into your step:

 

If you would like to add some more joy or humor into your life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 61-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

How Not to Help a Sufferer

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How Not to Help a Sufferer

By Gavin Ortlund

Of all the Bible’s many colorful characters, none is quite so exasperating as Job’s friends. Herod might chop off your head, and Judas might stab you in the back, but Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar will hurt you with Bible verses.

Job’s actual losses take two brief chapters to recount (Job 1–2), but the tortuous dialogue that follows drones on for 35 chapters (Job 3–37). I wonder which agonized Job more: his initial suffering or the extended indictment that followed?

The problem with Job’s comforters isn’t that they’re heretics. Much of what they say is true. The problem is the moralistic worldview that governs their engagement with Job, and compels them to reason backward from suffering to sin.

It’s easy to criticize Job’s friends, but let’s be honest: We can all be like them. In fact, a good litmus test of our heart’s alignment with the gospel—whether functionally we believe in a world of grace or a world of karma—is how we respond when a Job comes across our path. Suffering pulls out our real theology like a magnet.

Here are four things in particular to avoid when with a sufferer. Think of them as four ways we, like Job’s friends, can pour burning coals on the heads of those already sitting in ashes.

1. Appeal too quickly to God’s sovereignty.

The Bible teaches that “all things work together for good” for those in Christ (Rom. 8:28) and that God can use evil for good (Gen. 50:20). However, just because this is biblical doesn’t mean it’s always tactful or helpful to say.

“God meant it for good” is said by Joseph years after his suffering, not to Joseph during his suffering. Imagine Joseph’s angst and frustration had his brothers gathered around the well to shout down in encouragement: “Don’t worry, Joseph; God means this for good!”

Similarly, soon after Paul teaches that “all things work together for good,” he admonishes us to “weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). Before quoting the former, let’s be sure we’re willing to practice the latter.

2. Launch into a story of how God used your suffering.

It’s human nature to relate others’ experiences to our own. We can’t help but see the world through our own eyes. But one mark of maturity is learning to genuinely enter into the world of another, rather than always filtering their story through our own. This is especially important to do with sufferers for two reasons.

First, everybody’s story is different. Maybe God gave us a better house after our first one burned to the ground, or maybe we’re able to see the good side of a friend’s betrayal. But in a fallen and confusing world, it’s entirely possible your suffering friend may never get there in this life. Some sorrows won’t mend until heaven. So we really don’t know enough to be able say, “You’ll be glad this happened.”

Second, even if our stories are similar, our suffering friend may not need to hear that right now. A good question to ask is: “Is sharing my story more about meeting my need, or about serving my friend’s need?” At the very least, we should listen carefully to the nuances of a sufferer’s story before we draw comparisons.

3. Minimize the wrongdoing that caused the suffering.

I’m not sure why we tend to do this, but we do. It’s that karma instinct. We say things like “I’m sure they meant well,” or “It can’t be that bad,” or “Well, in every conflict the blame is on both sides.”

But the truth is we don’t know that someone meant well. Maybe they didn’t. We don’t know that it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was. And blame is not always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 80/20. Sometimes it’s even 100/0. That seems to be God’s verdict on Job and his friends (Job 42:7).

When you’re sitting with a sufferer, don’t minimize the sin that has contributed to their suffering. An honest acknowledgement of evil—without any excuses or evasions—will be to their pain like water to a parched man.

4. Emphasize character formation while neglecting comfort and compassion.

If the New Testament emphasizes anything about suffering, it’s that God uses it to produce godly character in us (e.g., Rom. 5:3–5; James 1:2–4). And yet, when someone is in the midst of suffering, this probably isn’t the point to emphasize—especially if we don’t have a trusting relationship established. If the topic needs to come up at all, it should be balanced with words of comfort and compassion.

In cases of severe suffering, it can be best to avoid or minimize words altogether. This is difficult to do. We tend to share Eliphaz’s instinct: “Who can keep from speaking?” (Job 4:2). But our hurting friend probably needs our love and presence far more than our interpretations and ideas. It’s more helpful, rather than trying to relieve or even understand their suffering, to just be with them in it. Press into the darkness with them. Hang in there with them in that moment, in that space, in that pain.

Aslan’s Tears

In this way we can be like Jesus to the suffering, for this is how Jesus is to us. He doesn’t shield us from suffering in this life, nor does he offer trite pep talks when the darkness descends. He promises that when it comes, he will be with us. In fact, we find him most truly in our brokenheartedness:

  • “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted.” (Ps. 34:18)
  • “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” (Isa. 61:1)

There’s a scene in The Magician’s Nephew where a little boy named Digory meets Aslan. His mother is sick, and he wants to ask for Aslan’s help, but he’s afraid. Lewis writes:

Up till then he had been looking at the Lion’s great front feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion’s eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory’s own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself. “My son, my son,” said Aslan. “I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another.”

What a world of comfort is bound up in those words, “I know.” Christ is close to sufferers because he is the Great Sufferer. He is the ultimate Job, stricken by undeserved calamity; the ultimate Joseph, betrayed by his very brothers. On the cross, Jesus took on our sins and absorbed the full sting of justice on our behalf, sinking down into the depths of hell and forsakenness. No one has ever suffered more; no one ever could. Such a depth of love can meet our need in the moment of pain.

To the sufferers in our lives, may we be less like Job’s friends and more like Jesus Christ.

If you would like help with your suffering or help in coming alongside a sufferer, please contact CornerStone Family Services to talk with a counselor or coach.

The Mental Health Benefits of Exercise (Part 2)

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The Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

By Helpguide.org

Reaping the mental health benefits of exercise is easier than you think

Wondering just how active you need to be to get a mental health boost? It’s probably not as much as you think. You don’t need to devote hours out of your busy day, train at the gym, sweat buckets, or run mile after monotonous mile. You can reap all the physical and mental health benefits of exercise with 30-minutes of moderate exercise five times a week. Two 15-minute or even three 10-minute exercise sessions can also work just as well.

Even a little bit of activity is better than nothing

If that still seems intimidating, don’t despair. Even just a few minutes of physical activity are better than none at all. If you don’t have time for 15 or 30 minutes of exercise, or if your body tells you to take a break after 5 or 10 minutes, for example, that’s okay, too. Start with 5- or 10-minute sessions and slowly increase your time. The more you exercise, the more energy you’ll have, so eventually you’ll feel ready for a little more. The key is to commit to do some moderate physical activity-however little-on most days. As exercising becomes habit, you can slowly add extra minutes or try different types of activities. If you keep at it, the benefits of exercise will begin to pay off.

Can’t find time to exercise during the week? Be a weekend warrior

A recent study in the UK found that people who squeeze their exercise routines into one or two sessions at the weekend experience almost as many health benefits as those who work out more often. So don’t let a busy schedule at work, home, or school be an excuse to avoid activity. Get moving whenever you can find the time-your mind and body will thank you! If you needed some more information on fitness related stuff, a friend recommended Fitness Edge and they have some really useful information on their website that helped me structure my workout and routine. But working out per say isn’t for everyone, so prefer to get their exercise in through different methods. One of my friends is a big tennis fan so he decided to get some Orlando Tennis Lessons. This really helped him get into the flow of playing the game because the teachers were so informative and helpful.

You don’t have to suffer to get results

Research shows that moderate levels of exercise are best for most people. Moderate means:

  1. That you breathe a little heavier than normal, but are not out of breath. For example, you should be able to chat with your walking partner, but not easily sing a song.
  2. That your body feels warmer as you move, but not overheated or very sweaty.

Overcoming mental health obstacles to exercise

So now you know that exercise will help you feel much better and that it doesn’t take as much effort as you might have thought. But taking that first step is still easier said than done. Exercise obstacles are very real-particularly when you’re also struggling with mental health. Here are some common barriers and what you can do to get past them.

Feeling exhausted. When you’re tired or stressed, it feels like working out will just make it worse. But the truth is that physical activity is a powerful energizer. Studies show that regular exercise can dramatically reduce fatigue and increase your energy levels. If you are really feeling tired, promise yourself a 5-minute walk. Chances are you’ll be able to go five more minutes.

Feeling overwhelmed. When you’re stressed or depressed, the thought of adding another obligation can seem overwhelming. Working out just doesn’t seem doable. If you have children, managing childcare while you exercise can be a big hurdle. Just remember that physical activity helps us do everything else better. If you begin thinking of physical activity as a priority, you will soon find ways to fit small amounts in a busy schedule.

Feeling hopeless. Even if you’re starting at “ground zero,” you can still workout. Exercise helps you get in shape. If you have no experience exercising, start slow with low-impact movement a few minutes each day.

Feeling pain. If you have a disability, severe weight problem, arthritis, or any injury or illness that limits your mobility, talk to your healthcare provider about ways to safely exercise. You shouldn’t ignore pain, but rather do what you can, when you can. Divide your exercise into shorter, more frequent chunks of time if that helps, or try exercising in water to reduce joint or muscle discomfort.

Feeling bad about yourself. Are you your own worst critic? It’s time to try a new way of thinking about your body. No matter what your weight, age or fitness level, there are others like you with the goals of getting fit. Try surrounding yourself with people in your shoes. Take a class with people at a variety of fitness levels. Accomplishing even the smallest fitness goals will help you gain body confidence. There are certain aspects of your body that can’t be helped by exercise, for example, if you don’t like the shape of your breasts you might have to think ‘Is mastopexy the right surgery for me?‘ instead, but for the most part you can make big changes to your body through improving your fitness.

Getting started exercising when you’re anxious or depressed

Many of us find it hard enough to motivate ourselves to exercise at the best of times. When we feel depressed, anxious, stressed or have other mental or emotional problems, it can be doubly difficult. This is especially true of depression and anxiety, and it can leave you feeling trapped in a catch-22 situation. You know exercise will make you feel better, but depression has robbed you of the energy and motivation you need to exercise, or your social anxiety means you can’t bear the thought of being seen at an exercise class or running through the park. So, what can you do?

It’s okay to start small. In fact, it’s smart.

When you’re under the cloud of an emotional disorder and haven’t exercised for a long time, setting yourself extravagant goals like completing a marathon or working out for an hour every morning will only leave you more despondent if you fall short. Better to set yourself achievable goals and build up from there.

Schedule your workout at the time of day when your energy is highest

That may be first thing in the morning before work or school, or at lunchtime before the mid-afternoon lull hits, or in longer sessions at the weekend. If depression or anxiety has you feeling tired and unmotivated all day long, try dancing to some music or simply going for a walk. Even a short, 15-minute walk can help clear your mind, improve your mood, and boost your energy level. As you move and start to feel a little better, you’ll experience a greater sense of control over your well-being. You may even feel energized enough to exercise more vigorously-by walking further, breaking into a run, or adding a bike ride, for example.

Other tips for staying motivated when you’re also struggling with mental health

Focus on activities you enjoy. Any activity that gets you moving counts. That could include throwing a Frisbee with a dog or friend, walking laps of a mall window shopping, or cycling to the grocery store. If you’ve never exercised before or don’t know what you might enjoy, try a few different things. Activities such as gardening or tackling a home improvement project can be great ways to start moving more when you have a mood disorder-as well as helping you become more active, they can also leave you with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. For example, my friend really enjoys softball and reads about all his softball related stuff at softballbatbuddy.com and because he is so interested in everything around it. This motivates him to go play softball.

Be comfortable. Whatever time of day you decide to exercise, wear clothing that’s comfortable and choose a setting that you find calming or energizing. That may be a quiet corner of your home, a scenic path, or your favorite city park.

Reward yourself. Part of the reward of completing an activity is how much better you’ll feel afterwards, but it always helps your motivation to promise yourself an extra treat for exercising. Reward yourself with a hot bubble bath after a workout, a delicious smoothie, or with an extra episode of your favorite TV show.

Make exercise a social activity. Exercising with a friend or loved one, or even your kids will not only make exercising more fun and enjoyable, it can also help to motivate you to stick to a workout routine. You’ll also feel better than exercising alone. In fact, when you’re suffering from a mood disorder such as depression, the companionship can be just as important as the exercise.

Easy ways to move more that don’t involve the gym

Don’t have 30 minutes to dedicate to yoga or a bike ride? Don’t worry. Think about physical activity as a lifestyle rather than just a single task to check off. Look at your daily routine and consider ways to sneak in activity here, there, and everywhere. Need ideas? We’ve got them.

In and around your home. Clean the house, wash the car, tend to the yard and garden, mow the lawn with a push mower, sweep the sidewalk or patio with a broom.

At work and on the go. Bike or walk to an appointment rather than drive, banish all elevators and get to know every staircase possible, briskly walk to the bus stop then get off one stop early, park at the back of the lot and walk into the store or office, take a vigorous walk during your coffee break.

With the family. Jog around the soccer field during your kid’s practice, make a neighborhood bike ride part of weekend routine, play tag with your children in the yard, go canoeing at a lake, walk the dog in a new place.

Just for fun. Pick fruit at an orchard, boogie to music, go to the beach or take a hike, gently stretch while watching television, organize an office bowling team, take a class in martial arts, dance, or yoga.

If you would like help establishing a mental/emotional self-care plan that involves exercise, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.