How to Skyrocket Your Intimacy Through Shared Activity

Posted on: March 30, 2017 by: Seth evans

How to Skyrocket Your Intimacy Through Shared Activity

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

We all have hobbies and interests that we’re passionate about; the trick is finding a way to integrate them into our marriages. Some couples do this with ease. Others, however, struggle to find a good middle ground–or even new activities to share.

Today, we’re talking about how to create opportunities for shared activities in your marriage to skyrocket your intimacy and make your relationship happier.

THE VALUE OF SHARED HOBBIES

Sharing activities or hobbies as a couple is incredibly important to the health of your marriage. Enjoying hobbies, recreational activities, and downtime together allows intimacy to flourish in your relationship.

For wives, spending time together in shared activities fulfills their longing for intimacy. It also draws husbands into that sense of intimate connection, creating a mutually beneficial situation for both partners. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, as long as you put the time and energy into spending time together.

When you spend time with your spouse, you’re creating memories and good feelings together that will spill over into other areas of your marriage. No matter what’s going on in your life, you have these times set aside, when you and your spouse will simply be doing an activity you enjoy together. And when the going gets rough, you’ll have those good times to lean on and look forward to.

You’ll also be setting a great example for your children of what a healthy marriage looks like. One of the best things you can do for your kids is to let them see the two of you loving each other well. And when they’re grown, they can emulate that in their marriages.

HOW TO FIND ACTIVITIES TO SHARE

If you two already have many common interests, then agreeing on what to do together should be a cinch. You’ll have a ton of options to choose from! If you both enjoy physical activities like biking or tennis, hit the trail or the court together once a week (or alternate, if you like both!). If the two of you are music buffs or love theatre, choose a show or performance to attend together every month (and in the meantime, kick back and listen to records together for a relaxing date night at home).

It gets a bit tricker to find things to do together when you don’t share many interests, so you’ll really have to put your heads together to figure something out. The good news is that it’s not about what you have in common–it’s how you work with one another to find that common ground or create something new in the process. If you both want to find something relaxing to do on the weekends then why not invest in a boat where there are many used boats for sale in Fort Myers and other locations for you to both enjoy the relaxing waves of the sea and get that much-needed one on one time. However, if you want to get the blood pumping then maybe you would be more interested in doing couples tennis matches or trying rock climbing.

First, make a list of each of your favorite hobbies, and sit down together to talk through each of them to gauge each other’s level of interest in the items on the list. Create a new list for the solutions you land on, and write those down. After that, talk through each item again until you’ve landed on one or two activities that you’d like to participate in together.

Another way to approach this could be to ask each other, “If you could only do one thing in your free time from now on, what would it be?” Then, make the effort to get involved (as much as possible–even just a little) in one another’s top choice.

If you find yourselves coming up short on ideas, we’ve created a free cheat sheet that will help jump-start your search for some activities that both of you feel interested in. You might both find an activity to engage in that you’ve never tried before, and who knows? It may end up becoming your favorite.

REMEMBER TO KEEP IT FUN

If finding shared activities has proven to be a challenge, don’t look at it as being mismatched with your spouse. Instead, view it as an opportunity to experience life on a deeper level with your partner and best friend. Exploring new activities and hobbies together can enrich your life and your marriage, and that in itself is a huge payoff.

Next week, we’ll focus on what to do when hobbies or activities steal your spouse’s time and energy…plus give you some tips on how to get his or her attention back on your relationship.

If you would like help skyrocketing your intimacy through shared activity, please call CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Study Examines the Effects of Prayer on Mental Health

Posted on: March 28, 2017 by: Seth evans

New Study Examines the Effects of Prayer on Mental Health

By Traci Pedersen

What are your deepest beliefs regarding the nature of God? When you pray, do you talk to a loving, protective and easily accessible God? Or does God feel strangely distant and unreachable? Perhaps a disciplinarian? A new study says that your beliefs about the “character” of God determine the effects of prayer on your mental health.

Researchers from Baylor University found that people who pray to a loving and protective God are less likely to experience anxiety-related disorders – worry, fear, self-consciousness, social anxiety and obsessive-compulsive behavior – compared to people who pray but don’t really expect to receive any comfort or protection from God.

Researchers looked at the data of 1,714 volunteers who participated in the most recent Baylor Religion Survey. They focused on general anxiety, social anxiety, obsession, and compulsion. Their study, entitled “Prayer, Attachment to God, and Symptoms of Anxiety-Related Disorders among U.S. Adults,” is published in the journal Sociology of Religion.

For many people, God is a source of comfort and strength, says researcher Matt Bradshaw, Ph.D; and through prayer, they enter into an intimate relationship with Him and begin to feel a secure attachment. When this is the case, prayer offers emotional comfort, resulting in fewer symptoms of anxiety disorders. Prayer can offer a lot to someone who is struggling in day-to-day life, however, there are some cases where combining it with other treatments can have a further positive outcome. This treatment may be a doctor’s prescription or it can be a natural treatment like CBD vape oil, medical marijuana, St Johns Wort, and so on. Whichever path you take remember that you are loved.

Some people have formed avoidant or insecure attachments to God, explains Bradshaw. This means that they do not necessarily believe that God is there for them. Prayer starts to feel like an unsuccessful attempt at having a close relationship with God. Feelings of rejection or “unanswered” prayers may lead to severe symptoms of anxiety-related disorders, he says.

The findings add to the growing body of research confirming a connection between a person’s perceived relationship with God and mental and physical health. In fact, a recent study by Oregon State University found that religion and spirituality result in two distinct but complementary health benefits. Religion (religious affiliation and service attendance) is linked to better health habits, including less smoking and alcohol consumption, while spirituality (prayer, meditation) helps regulate emotions.

Another recent study by Columbia University found that participating in regular meditation or other spiritual practice actually thickens parts of the brain’s cortex, and this could be the reason those activities tend to guard against depression – especially in those at risk for the disease.

This article courtesy of Spirituality and Health.

If you would like to incorporate spirituality into your mental health care, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our qualified coaches or counselors.

Avoiding Destructive Defensiveness

Posted on: March 23, 2017 by: Seth evans

Studies by the Gottman Institute have demonstrated that when we respond to criticism or a complaint with defensiveness, the conflict escalates rather than becoming constructive.

If you would like help with your relationships, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

How to Slow Down And Enjoy Brewing Coffee at Home

Posted on: March 22, 2017 by: Seth evans

How to Slow Down And Enjoy Brewing Coffee at Home

By Michelle Flandreau

Frenzied. Hurried. Chaotic. Is this what your morning coffee routine feels like?

Andie Wilber, a barista at the Starbucks Reserve® Roastery & Tasting Room, encourages people to take 10 extra minutes when they can and slow down while brewing coffee.

“If that’s how you start your morning, that’s the tone that will follow you throughout your day and hopefully your life,” Andie said.

For the full article on brewing and decor tips to help with staying in the moment, visit the original article.

If you would like help in slowing down and staying in the moment or reducing your stress and anxiety, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

6 Ways Substance Abuse Can Destroy Your Marriage

Posted on: March 20, 2017 by: Seth evans

6 Ways Substance Abuse Can Destroy Your Marriage

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Addiction is an overwhelming illness whose hallmark symptoms are the physiological craving of, and emotional attachment to, a legal or illegal substance or practice. Most often, we see addictions in the form of substances like alcohol, prescription drugs, and illicit drugs.

Substance abuse is devastating to marriages, families, and relationships. It can result in career loss, financial ruin, divorce, estrangement, and even death. It can be treated with holistic addiction treatment and step-by-step programs, but those suffering from the addiction have to be dedicated to the recovery in order for it to work. Many people with these addictions have found that divorces can often make them abuse these substances more. However, for the other spouse, addicts can be unpredictable and unreliable, resulting in an unhappy marriage. If that’s the case in your marriage, it might be a good idea to try and get a lawyer involved to offer you advice about divorcing your partner. By contacting this family law jacksonville firm, or another one similar, the marriage can be ended as calmly as possible. Often, substance abusers can have a direct impact on their spouse, making their life equally as miserable. That’s why many substance abusers do end up divorced, unfortunately.

For all of these issues, we strongly encourage that you and your spouse seek outside professional help. For example, you could look into the many centres specializing in drug and alcohol rehab Albuquerque way, but you can also find something in your local area too. Consult your local minister or physician for reliable recovery resources, like a 12-step system that understands your unique struggle. Addiction is not something you can overcome on your own, but with the right help and medication assisted treatment, you will be able to move past this and rebuild your lives.

DENIAL

Denial is risky business when it comes to facing a life-altering issue like addiction. For the addicted spouse, denial comes in the form of the idea that they’re in control of their addiction–they can stop any time they want. This is frustrating for the non-addicted spouse, who can often (eventually) see the problem for what it is, but finds it difficult to impossible to interact with the addicted spouse who is so strongly rooted in denial.

But many times, especially at first, the non-addicted spouse is also in denial. While the other person may display a host of red flags that point to substance abuse, it can feel easier in the moment for the non-addicted spouse to come up with alternate explanations or write off the signs as coincidence. Denial on the part of the non-addicted spouse is dangerous because it delays the possibility of seeking necessary professional help…even if that help only comes in the form of support for the non-addicted person in the marriage.

HELPLESSNESS

Whether it’s you or your spouse who is struggling with an addiction, helplessness takes root quickly. After a period of denial has passed, an addicted spouse may feel helpless to control what is happening to them; they find themselves at the mercy of the drug. The non-addicted spouse is likely to feel helpless when it comes to their spouse’s addictive behavior because they can’t do anything to stop it or make the situation better.

Feeling totally out of control of any situation–but especially a situation like this–is terrifying, stressful, and unsettling. Both spouses are at risk of seeking out behavior patterns that make them feel more in control of their lives, which can create a volatile situation in the relationship.

DISHONESTY

Addiction breeds dishonesty. It’s nearly an inevitable byproduct of substance abuse. The addicted spouse inherently knows that the substance that’s controlling their life shouldn’t be playing a role in it at all. Yet, because the physiological need for it is very real, they find themselves lying to cover up the problem.

However painful it may be, the non-addicted spouse must keep track of their spouse’s dishonesty. It’s essential to learn the telltale signs that the addicted spouse is lying; he or she may fall into a pattern that is easy to recognize. During and after recovery, the non-addicted spouse may still find it difficult to trust their husband or wife, but if they’ve become familiar with his or her patterns during dishonesty, it could become a framework they can use to evaluate the recovering spouse.

NEGLECT

Addictive substances tend to steal an addicted spouse’s entire focus (perhaps not at first, but eventually, this tends to be the case). This can lead to the spouse neglecting the needs of their family, plus their responsibilities at home and at work. As a result, the addicted spouse may eventually find themselves jobless and even in the throes of financial ruin.

For the non-addicted spouse, experiencing neglect is detrimental to their health and wellbeing, the health and wellbeing of their children, and the financial stability of the family. Over time, they find themselves shouldering the burden of the addicted spouse’s responsibilities, plus their own. This can lead to anger, resentment, and contempt, which can be difficult to overcome even after the couple has received professional help to overcome the addiction itself.

PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ILLNESS & PAIN

Substance abuse often begins when a person is trying to escape pain of some kind. What addicted individuals often don’t realize is that the substance will eventually cause them physical and psychological pain. Addiction also leads to varying types of illness, brought on by the years of self-harm.

For a non-addicted spouse, psychological pain and illness may occur as a result of the tremendous stress brought on by the addiction. Practice radical self-care and talk to your physician or counselor if your family is facing an addiction that has caused your health to deteriorate. Your recovering spouse and any children you may have will need you to be healthy in the coming months as you face this down.

ABUSE

Unfortunately, addiction is capable of creating an abusive environment in your home–be it verbal, physical, emotional, or otherwise. A person who has become addicted to a substance is susceptible to personality changes that include aggression and violence.

If you are a non-addicted spouse and your husband or wife has become abusive, creating a dangerous environment in your home, get yourself and any children you may have to safety. Consult your counselor for the safest way to communicate to your spouse that you have left the home, and you won’t be able to come back until it is safe for you to be there. Encourage them to seek the help they need to get well so that your family can be together again in a healthy environment.

If you would like help with your marriage or addiction, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Funday Friday: Rob Lowe Humor

Posted on: March 17, 2017 by: Seth evans

If you would like help adding more humor and joy into your life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Three Simple Steps to More Joy in Your Life and Relationships

Posted on: March 16, 2017 by: Seth evans

Three Simple Steps to More Joy in Your Life and Relationships

By Shaunti Feldhahn

Does your mother-in-law make you want to pull your hair out by criticizing every move you make? Maybe your wife doesn’t appreciate all the things you do for your family, or it’s your husband who takes you for granted and always seems angry.

Perhaps you dread going to work every day because your boss talks down to you and you’ve had enough.

Or maybe it isn’t a bad relationship, but a good one … and you want it to be great.

What if you had the power to transform that relationship into one that is positive and brings joy into your life?

I’ve got great news …You do have the power. In fact, you have a superpower and it’s called kindness. Let me explain.

I’m a social researcher; and after years of study on what we call the 30-Day Kindness Challenge, we found three actions anyone can do to transform any relationship. Because targeted kindness is a potent weapon and will soften any heart.

Including our own!

Here’s what you do. Pick that someone with whom you want a better relationship. For 30 days, you will:

Say nothing negative about your person—either to them or about them to someone else. If you must provide negative feedback (for example, to discipline a child or correct a subordinate’s mistake), be constructive and encouraging without a negative tone.

Every day, find one thing that you can sincerely praise or affirm about your person and tell them, and tell someone else.

Every day, do one small act of kindness or generosity for them.

That’s it! So simple. And yet in our research for The Kindness Challenge, 89% of relationships improved!

What does this look like in practice? Well, suppose you and your teenage daughter have been pushing each other’s buttons for weeks. Every conversation with her is like a minefield, not knowing what will set her off.

During the 30-Day Kindness Challenge, you resist the urge to ask “Why did you wait until the last minute to do your homework??” (No sighing in exasperation, either!) And you completely stop yourself from venting about it with your husband or your friends at work. (This is just for thirty days, remember!) Instead, you look for things to praise. So you notice that it was really nice of her to take her little brother to get ice cream. You thank her for it – and then you tell your friends at work about the nice thing she did.

You’re also looking for that little act of generosity to do each day. So when you know she wants to meet her friends at the coffee shop after dinner but it’s her turn to clean the kitchen, you sincerely say, “I’ve got this. You go ahead and go. Have a great time.”

Trust me: Starting this process will show us a whole lot about what needs to change. Not just in the other person: but in us. You will see just how negative you have been, in ways you never realized before. (In The Kindness Challenge I outline the seven distinct types of negativity we found in the research, ranging from exasperation to overt criticism to suspicion. I strongly recommend you find out your negativity patterns, so you can watch for them!)

But as you go, you will also see something amazing: you will see your feelings changing. Not only will you experience more joy and feel better about yourself, you’ll also start appreciating the other person more. You’ll see their defenses lowering. And you may see enjoyment and positivity in the relationship you haven’t seen in years. An effort toward kindness won’t solve every problem – especially the big ones like addiction – but it will make them easier to solve.

If you would like help in adding more joy in your relationships, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

4 Ways to Keep your Temper When You Want to Blow

Posted on: March 15, 2017 by: Seth evans

4 Ways to Keep your Temper When You Want to Blow

By Shaunti Feldhahn

While doing some research for my next book, I realized something important: when we are angry, most of us handle it wrong! Here are four ways to keep ourselves from (forgive the Marvel reference) turning into a big green rage monster when we otherwise really want to!

1. In advance, realize: “venting” only makes things worse! Most of us have bought into the idea that letting a little steam out of the kettle now prevents it from exploding later, right? And taking a few minutes to vent to or about your spouse, child or boss just feels quite satisfying when we have steam pouring out of our ears. The problem is, it turns out, it hurts instead of helping.

Neuroscientists such as Dr. Brad Bushman at Ohio State have discovered that actually expressing the anger we feel further activates an interconnected anger system in the brain and makes the kettle boil that much more. So while we can certainly express anger any time we want to, the question is whether we should if we want to keep her temper in check and preserve a relationship, a job, or our sanity.

2. Instead of “letting off steam,” remove yourself from the heat. If we’re boiling and don’t want to be, the researchers suggest the equivalent of putting the lid on tight and removing the pot from the heat. When we decide to be calm (see below), it is the equivalent of smothering the anger and denying it oxygen to burn. And when we remove or distract ourselves from whatever is making us furious, we find our anger cooling off until, in many cases, we’re simply not angry anymore.

So when your co-worker expresses frustration that the boss made everyone work late last night, instead of chiming in with the “Yeah, and guess what else?!” additional grievances, calmly say “Yep, that was frustrating. So about these quarterly numbers…” And if the other person persists, excuse yourself, go back to your cube, and force yourself to think something more healthy. Like what else you were working on. Or that dream Caribbean vacation.

(One hint for husbands or boyfriends, though: given what we discovered in our research about how women are wired, if you have to remove yourself from an emotional conflict, be sure to reassure your wife or girlfriend that you two are okay and you’ll be able to talk about it later. That gives her the reassurance of your love that she needs to give you space without simmering and venting, herself.)

3. Before you speak, pause. So how do you manage to respond “calmly” to your coworker (or spouse, or in laws…) when you’re just as mad as he or she is? Here’s the answer: force yourself to pause for a few seconds before you reply. Seriously. That allows your will to catch up with your roiling emotions, so you can decide to handle your words well. (If I reply to this now, it’s only going to make it worse. Best to ask if we can continue this conversation at 1:30.) More important, if you’re a person of faith, it also gives God a chance to touch your heart and steer your reply before you forge ahead with guns blazing, and cause casualties you’ll regret later.

So when you’re worried about your son’s progress in school and seven shades of upset that your husband didn’t agree to hire a tutor to help him, force yourself to pause and get your thoughts together before you speak. “Think before you speak” is one of the earliest lessons we teach our kids, and yet sometimes we forget it as adults. We need to relearn that skill, especially when it comes to those relationships that are most important to us.

4. Apologize. Since we will not always do it right, despite all those strategies, we also need to practice apologies each and every time they are needed. “I’m sorry, honey. I know you care about Billy, and I shouldn’t have ever implied that you didn’t. Will you forgive me?” You don’t need to necessarily agree (“Maybe this weekend, we could talk more specifically about why I think a tutor is so important, and how we can get the money to pay for it”) but you do need to apologize.

This is in part because our research with the happiest relationships found that we need to keep short accounts, be willing to make up, and always ask for forgiveness when we have wronged someone else – regardless of whether they have wronged us too. But also because if we know we’re going to have to apologize if we let our temper run away with us, we’ll be far less likely to do it next time!

Tell yourself venting will make it worse. Remove yourself from the frustrating situation or focus on something else. Pause to let your ability to make a good choice catch up with you. And apologize if you don’t. Try those simple, simple actions for just a few weeks and you’ll find yourself handling difficult feelings so well, you won’t even remember the big green rage monster any more.

If you would like help with your anger, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

How to Build a Great Relationship with Stepchildren

Posted on: March 13, 2017 by: Seth evans

How to Build a Great Relationship with Stepchildren

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Whether you’re getting married for the first time to a person who has children–or getting remarried and blending a family–you’re going to be navigating some unfamiliar territory in the coming years. Like starting a marriage, becoming a stepparent has its own set of challenges and rewards, and you’ll learn how to nurture these relationships as you begin your new life as a family.

Stepping into the role of stepmom or stepdad is a daunting and delicate undertaking. Making this transition well isn’t easy, but it’s very doable. The result of treading carefully into this new territory will be building a rewarding relationship with your spouse’s children.

Today we’re sharing a few tips to help you start on the right foot as a new stepparent.

MAKE A GENTLE TRANSITION

Whatever the situation, kids tend to have mixed feelings about a stepparent entering the picture. There may be things about your presence in the family that your spouse’s kids love…and then there might be a part of them that feels resistant to the changes.

It’s natural for children to feel excited about having a stepmom or stepdad on one hand (in particular, if the child has grown up in a single-parent home and has been craving that second parent in their life). But on the other hand, they’re likely aware of the fact that they’ve made it just fine all these years without you (and at some point, you’ll probably hear about it).

While you might feel overly eager to start this relationship on the right foot, be gentle as you make the transition into being part of this family. Don’t try to establish yourself as a parent just yet, and don’t aggressively pursue a connection with the kids–instead, seek to cultivate a friendship with your stepchildren. Be patient and allow the relationship to naturally deepen over time.

SHOW GENUINE INTEREST

Let your spouse’s kids know you’re genuinely interested in them. Work to find common ground–identify shared interests, activities you both enjoy, and any relatable topics that come up between you as you’re getting to know each other. Get on their level, and actively listen when they speak to you.

Show up to support them in their activities, like ball games and dance recitals. If your stepkids are creative, show an active interest in their artwork, music, writing, and other creations. Your stepkids will come to know they have an ally in you if they know you are for them.

RESPECT THEIR TRADITIONS

It’s important for you to show respect for the traditions your stepchildren and their parent have created as a family. If you attempt to come into this family and change everything they’ve been doing together up till now–whether those are holiday celebrations or simple weekly rituals–you’ll set yourself up for failure right off the bat.

Learn about your stepkids’ traditions, and work with your spouse to preserve as many of those as possible (if you have children of your own and are blending two families, this will be tricker–but can still be done). Over time, you’ll be able to slowly create new traditions with your spouse and stepchildren, and maybe even incorporate a few of your own. But for now, be patient and willing to let your spouse and their kids take the lead, understanding that slow changes will come with time.

DON’T TRY TO REPLACE THEIR OTHER PARENT

Whether your stepchildren have lost their other biological parent to death or divorce, be respectful of their attachment to that other parent. Communicate that to your stepkids, and be direct with them. Of course, when a child’s parents do get divorced, it can be extremely difficult for the child. Especially if the child is young, it might be difficult for them to understand. Additionally, the presence of family solicitors or other such professionals who are there to assist the parents with legal documents and advice can be aggravating for the child, who might see them as an outsider who has come to separate his parents. They might also be blaming themselves for the divorce, and consider you as another outsider trying to split his/her family. However, there are ways to try and make it easier for them, such as using some Harrisburg divorce lawyers, for example. By doing that, the divorce should be straightforward and the parents should be civil with each other. This will make it easier for the child to come to terms with the divorce.

A great place to start would be to let them know you understand the special relationship they have with their mom or dad, and that you have no desire to replace that in any way. Let them know you’re glad you’re in their life, and welcome them into yours. It’s also good to let them know that you hope to have a strong relationship with them in the future.

Once you’ve established that your stepchildren can be friends with you–and that you do not expect to replace their biological mother or father–that can pave the way for a great connection between you and them. Getting this out into the open will release them from any notion that having a good relationship with you will create a conflict of interest with their other parent.

LET YOUR SPOUSE HANDLE THE DISCIPLINE

A fundamental reality of blended families is that the biological parent has to be responsible for disciplining the children. Being a stepparent is a role governed by mutual respect and friendship, and stepping into a disciplinarian role with your stepkids could hinder that goal. Enacting discipline must be your spouse’s choice.

That said, since your unique position in the family demands mutual respect, if you’re being treated unkindly by your spouse’s child, it’s within your right to remove yourself from the interaction. Tell the child you feel disrespected and that you won’t stay in this conversation while they are being unkind. You must be clear about what is taking place, then do what you’ve said and remove yourself from the situation.

You can certainly communicate privately to your spouse about what is going on, but in the end, he or she must be the one to discipline the children for bad behavior.

If you would like help in the area of a blended family and stepchildren, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Seasonal Affective Disorder

Posted on: March 9, 2017 by: Seth evans

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Seasonal Affective Disorder

By Jennifer Blaszczak

It is winter yet again. The beautiful colors of the autumn leaves have disappeared and have been replaced by barren tree limbs and icicles sharp and brittle. The harsh winds rattle the window frames and the cold air seems to sing a cruel song that frightens away birds to warmer climates. The daytime gives way to the moon, and darkness sets in way before supper. So, you see, while some perceive winter as a festive time when their worlds are blanketed by the purity of snow, others feel that they are being suffocated by a literally colorless existence.

It is estimated that half a million Americans are negatively affected by the changing seasons and darkening of the summer light. They feel depressed, irritable, and tired. Their activity levels decrease, and they find themselves in bed more often. This depression disorder not only affects their health, but it also affects their everyday life, including their job performance and friendships. This disorder is known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, appropriately acronym-ed, SAD.

What is SAD Exactly?

SAD is a mood disorder that affects an individual at the same time each year, usually starting when the weather becomes colder in September or October, and ends in April or May when the weather becomes warmer. People with SAD feel depressed during the shorter days of winter, and more cheerful and energetic during the brightness of spring and summer.

“Hey, Einstein! I knew that already! Tell me something I don’t know!”

Jeez, okay, okay. Irritability is a sign of SAD, so I understand your bitterness, Crankypants. Here are-

10 Things You May Not Have Known About SAD

1. Did you know that between 60% and 90% of people with SAD are women? It’s true. If you are a female between 15 and 55, you are more likely to develop SAD. Great, so not only do women have PMS, Menopause, and child labor to worry about, add SAD to the list, too.

2. Even though the harsh chill in the air might bring you down, SAD is believed to relate more to daylight, not the temperature. Some experts believe that a lack of sunlight increases the body’s production of a body chemical called melatonin. Melatonin is what helps regulate sleep and can cause symptoms of depression.

3. SAD can be treated. If your symptoms are mild, meaning, if they do not interfere in and completely ruin your daily life, light therapy may help you beat SAD. Using light therapy has shown highly effective. Studies prove that between 50% and 80% of light therapy users have complete remissions of symptoms. However, light therapy must be used for a certain amount of time daily and continue throughout the dark, winter months.

4. Some say that light therapy has no side effects, but others disagree. We think it simply depends on the person. Some people experience mild side effects, such as headaches, eye strain, or nausea. However, these light therapy users say that the side effects are temporary and subside with time or reduced light exposure. Most scientists agree that there are no long-term side effects, but remember to consult your physician before any treatment decisions are made.

5. There are some things to consider if you want to try light therapy in your home, otherwise, you will not receive all the benefits that this type of therapy offers.

When purchasing a lightbox, do not skimp as far as money is concerned. Buy a larger one so that you will receive enough light to be beneficial.
The best time for light therapy is in the early morning. (If used late at night, it could cause insomnia.) So, even if it means waking up earlier, set aside some morning time to relax and use your lightbox.
Many people are not aware of this, but you must have your eyes open and face the light during therapy. Do not stare at the light. That would be silly. Simply face the light, eyes open.

6. It takes more than just one winter depression to be diagnosed with SAD. Individuals must meet certain criteria:

The symptoms and remission of the systems must have occurred during the last two consecutive years.
The seasonal depressive episodes must outnumber the non-seasonal depressive episodes in one’s lifetime.

7. SAD can be treated with certain medications that increase serotonin levels in the brain. Such medications include antidepressants, such as Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft. These treatments are useful for those struggling with this disorder, however, some people find that some medications can cause multiple side effects, so it might be worth looking into those before trying to get this medication. For a short term treatment method, some people do prefer to find some of the best sativa strains as they are known for boosting moods and creativity, making it easier for people with mood disorders to get through the day more comfortably. To read about the best cannabis strain for this, people may want to visit getkush.io to learn more. Make sure to do what’s best for you though. If the medications work, prioritize them.

8. There is actually a device that conducts light therapy and allows you to walk around while treated. The device is called a light visor. Just wear the light visor around your head and complete your daily chores and rituals. A light visor still can potentially have the same side effects as the standard forms of light therapy, so only simple activities, such as watching television, walking, or preparing meals is advised. We do not recommend you operate heavy machinery while wearing a light visor. (You would look pretty silly with it on out in public, anyway.)

9. If you have a friend or loved one who suffers from SAD, you can help them tremendously.

Try to spend more time with the person, even though they may not seem to want any company.
Help them with their treatment plan.
Remind them often that summer is only a season away. Tell them that their sad feelings are only temporary, and they will feel better in no time.
Go outside and do something together. Take a walk, or exercise. Get them to spend some time outside in the natural sunlight. Just remember to bundle up!

10. Although not as common, a second type of seasonal affective disorder known as summer depression can occur in individuals who live in warmer climates. Their depression is related to heat and humidity, rather than light. Winter depression does cause petulance in many cases, but summer depression is known to cause severe violence. So, it could be worse.

There are times in this article, in which I seem a bit blithe. However, please, do not take my somewhat lighthearted approach to SAD the wrong way. SAD is a serious disorder that disrupts the lives of many people, worldwide. It is nothing to laugh at. Sneeze at, perhaps-it is winter, after all. But laugh at? No, not at all.

If you would like help with Seasonal Affective Disorder, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor.