5 Ways To Cultivate Intimacy In Your Marriage

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5 Ways To Cultivate Intimacy In Your Marriage

By Jennifer Smith

Intimacy is a vital part of marriage. It is through intimacy that a couple creates connection and a deep bond that far exceeds any other relationship one could have.

It is important that we intentionally cultivate intimacy in marriage. There are many different ways a husband and wife can do this. It takes time, energy and effort, but if you are intentional about it, your marriage will benefit and grow.

Many people associate the word intimacy with sex. Although sex is an intimate act a husband and wife can enjoy together, there are other ways to cultivate intimacy as well. Sexual intimacy is very important, but so are these other intimate acts.

5 Ways To Cultivate Intimacy In Your Marriage:

1. Pray Together

Praying together can seem intimidating, especially if you are not comfortable praying out loud. However, this is one of the most intimate things you will ever get to share with your husband. So gather up the courage and pray with your man! Pray for your marriage, your family, and your future! Praying together builds intimacy because you are vulnerably exposing your heart, not just before your husband, but to God at the same time.

2. Converse With Each Other

This does not mean just talk to one another, rather it means to find a relaxing atmosphere to give quality time to communicating with each other. Be intentional about removing distractions. Make eye contact, share your heart with him, and take time to just listen. Things that you can discuss include the condition of your marriage, goals, issues you may need to resolve, and things God is teaching you. Quality communication fosters intimacy in marriage!

3. Eat Together

Our fast-paced culture tends to fill up every ounce of our time. Learn to slow down and keep your priorities, priorities! Sit together and enjoy a meal with your husband. This can be as simple as a light lunch or you can really set the mood by lighting candles and setting the table nicely. We were made to enjoy food and what better way to nourish your body than doing so alongside your husband. Use the time you have to bless your husband by making his favorite meal! One of the most intimate settings Jesus experienced with His disciples was sharing Passover with them! Eating together fosters intimacy because it shows you care enough to slow down and enjoy the time you have been given, it encourages community, and it usually creates an atmosphere of peace.

4. Play Together

Experience joy, laughter, excitement, and fun as you play together. You can play with your spouse through games like keep away with the remote, tickle torture, water fights, clean pranks, or actually sport games. Playing together keeps your relationship fresh as you are energized by laughter and happiness. Playing together will stimulate your mind and your heart. Playing together cultivates intimacy in marriage because it includes physical touch.

5. Go On Adventures

Just like playing together, going on adventures will stimulate your mind and your heart. Go on adventures together may be trying a new restaurant, going on a hike, traveling out of state, going on a mission trip, or taking a drive. This will cause you to communicate as you experience new things around you! Be creative and explore with your husband as often as you can! Remember these do not have to be expensive, it may just be a walk down a street you have never been down before. As you learn to trust each other through your adventures and the excitement of experiencing new things is intimate because it will draw you closer to each other!


If you would like more help in cultivating intimacy in your marriage, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Marriage Tip: Why You Should Unplug and Go on an Adventure Together

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Summer Dreams: Why You Should Unplug and Go on an Adventure Together

By Les and Leslie Parrott

Summertime and adventure go hand in hand. Oftentimes, family vacations ramp up this time of year–and what cherished times those can be. Today, though, we are talking about the importance of taking some time away with your spouse to unplug and go on your own summer adventure together, maybe to Trehøje in Mols Bjerge in Northern Europe?

When we think of adventure, we often believe it has to be an extended time and needs to take place in some far-off land. If that is something you can swing, great–but it doesn’t have to be a roadblock. You can have adventures halfway across the world or even in very own city, but the key is to do something together.

When was the last time you fully unplugged and took time to adventure with your spouse? If you can’t think of when that was, you are desperately overdue. It is critical for us to emphasize how important this time is for your marriage, kids or no kids.

Here are some reasons why you should unplug for a summer adventure with your spouse.

SOMETHING TO PLAN TOGETHER

When married couples are planning or working together, it is usually geared towards more serious matters than having a getaway. From financial planning to coordinating schedules to tackling to-do lists, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the overall maintenance that life requires. Perhaps you and your spouse work well as a team, and can even find joy in the midst of everyday life, but you have got to take a break sometime!

Going on an adventure together involves some sort of planning, yes–but it’s the fun kind! Regardless of where or how far you are going, simply put, it is enjoyable to plan something fun. There are endless online resources at your fingertips to plan some time away. Decide what you want to do and embrace the process of creating your adventure. Maybe your thinking of going on a Safari to watch wildlife roaming their natural habitats or you’re planning a beach resort holiday. Whatever you decide, make it one to remember. It is a great way to work together, apart from the rigors of life.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO

Is there any greater anticipation than pending time away? Part of the fun of an upcoming adventure is the building of excitement as you get closer to the event. Having something to look forward to together can make those have-to’s more fun. Knowing there is a payoff in a couple weeks or months certainly can ease the monotony of the here and now, and serves as a great reminder that something amazing is just around the corner. Embrace those times of anticipation with your spouse. We all love having something to look forward to!

TIME TO UNPLUG AND HAVE FUN

This goes without saying, but it still needs to be said. What good is it to work hard and never let ourselves enjoy the fruits of our labor? Life is far out of balance if you haven’t found yourself allowing time for pure fun with your spouse. When is the last time you simply enjoyed each other’s company? Some of the best marriages around are the ones whose members know how to have fun. Life is too short not to, and it’s amazing to see how having fun can draw you closer to one another.

A big piece of having fun is to allow yourselves to unplug a bit. We spend so much of our time tied to our technology, responding to dings, buzzes, needs and wants of others. Much of that is necessary with our jobs. Like anything else, though, we need to step away. We need uninterrupted hours or days getting back to what is simple and most important. Friends, if your relationship with your spouse isn’t strong, it is nearly impossible to truly thrive in other areas of life.

Your emails can wait. So can your text messages, your notifications and your fantasy sports teams. Your relationship with your spouse is the most important relationship in your life, and in the world we live in today, unplugging can be one of the greatest ways to show each other that.

TIME TO TALK AND DREAM

Life is busy. Time is limited. Demands are high. Often, all of this means that we end up skipping deep conversations with your spouse. It can be hard to find time to talk, much less dream, when you are keeping up with the daily grind. What better way to connect with your spouse, though? You are living and building a life with the most important person to you, and part of that is connecting with your spouse sharing your struggles, victories and dreams.

Getting away for an adventure affords you that time. You’re away from life, more relaxed, having fun and are often far more open to discussing even harder topics during these times. Perhaps you’re taking a road trip. Time in the car is perfect. Turn off your podcast or playlist and talk. Dream. Laugh. Ask questions. Listen to answers. Time away is time to connect. Maybe you haven’t dreamed in a long time with your spouse. What better time than now?

TIME FOR INTIMACY

Uninterrupted time. Need I say more? Simply put, time away should always include time to connect sexually. As mentioned above, life gets busy and time goes by. In many marriages, that includes not making sex a priority. Unplugged, uninterrupted time when you’re having fun and connecting affords countless opportunities to be intimate. You have your spouse alone, maybe for the first time in a very long time. Take advantage of that!

If you haven’t planned an adventure (near or far) with your spouse this summer, stop what you’re doing now and make it happen! It doesn’t have to break the bank. It simply needs to be unplugged and just the two of you. Life is too short not to take this time. Summer dreams are made for adventures together!


If you would like help enriching your marriage, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

Practice the Pause

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Practice the pause. 

When in doubt, pause.

When angry, pause.

When tired, pause.

When stressed, pause.

And when you pause, pray.

-Toby Mac

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Funday Friday: Child Food Humor

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Here’s some kid food humor for your Funday Friday:

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If you would like to add some more humor into your life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

7 Fun Staycation Ideas for You and Your Spouse

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7 Fun Staycation Ideas for You and Your Spouse

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Taking a vacation isn’t always about hopping in the car or on a plane and heading to the beach or mountains. Although sometimes it can be quite nice to just go to somewhere like New Orleans and stay in the InterContinental New Orleans hotel and just get away from the hustle and bustle of the world. I know that some people do prefer doing this sort of thing, as the only way that they can relax is by going to a completely new place. I even have one friend who likes to use a company called NetJets to help them travel in style and comfort. But for some people, sometimes all you need for a restful mental break is an intentional pause in your weekly routine and some time with your spouse.

Have you ever considered a staycation?

Maybe you don’t have any extra money to travel right now, or you’re preparing to welcome a new baby and need to be close to home. A staycation is an affordable way to break up the daily grind, spend time with your spouse, and rejuvenate your mind and body.

So, what should you do during your staycation? Here are a few ideas to get you on the road to fun and relaxation in your own town!

#1: CAMP IN THE BACKYARD

If you’re a big fan of the outdoors, grab your camping gear and pitch a tent in the backyard! Bring along the ingredients for s’mores, tell some old stories, and spend the evening staring the stars. It’s amazing what can happen when we change our scenery just a little bit. Some fresh air and a fresh perspective can be the answer to a stress-filled schedule.

#2: BE A TOURIST IN YOUR OWN CITY

Every city has its own special sights and historical marks. Have you seen them? So often, we miss what’s right in front of us! Visit your local museum or take the tour you’ve always heard about but never done. Maybe there are some restaurants you’ve never tried and have always wanted to–start with appetizers in one spot, move to entrees in another, and finish off with dessert in a quaint little place you’ve never been to.

#3: HAVE A SPA DAY

Book a day at your local spa–facials, pedicures, massages. Any place that offers you a fuzzy robe to wear is just a bonus to your day! Exhale and relax while someone rubs away your stress and worry. Spas can get pretty expensive, so do what works for you. If it’s not in your budget right now, grab some supplies and have a spa day right at home. If you give your spouse a facial, don’t leave off the slices of cucumbers for their eyes!

#4: GO ON A HIKE

Pack up a picnic lunch, some water and sunscreen and head to your closest park or hiking trail. Turn your phones off and spend the day reconnecting while taking in the scenery. If it’s a tough trail, make up a fun game to help you power through it (psst…bring some water balloons!). Don’t forget to take some pictures when you get to the top!

#5: MOVIE NIGHT

If this is in your usual rotation for date night, then switch things up a bit! Pick a new genre of movie, built a fort in your living room, crawl in, and hit play. Prepare some popcorn and an ice cream sundae bar (don’t forget the cherry!) to enjoy throughout the night and cuddle up next to your spouse. Renting a movie is as easy as it’s ever been, but you can make the whole experience feel like you’re 10 again!

#6: HAVE A CANDLELIGHT DINNER AT HOME

What did you eat on your first date? What did you eat at your wedding? Now’s a great time to pull out those recipes and recreate the night. Light some candles, get out the old picture albums, and relive the memories. Need a fun dessert idea? You can never go wrong with fondue!

#7: GO ON A SCAVENGER HUNT

Now, this one’s going to take a little planning on your part, but it can be so much fun! Choose your destinations, then start mapping out the clues to lead your spouse to each one. You can make this as simple or as complex as you’d like. Lead your spouse to fun hiding spots around the house, neighborhood, or all throughout your city. If you want to make this something you both can do, ask a friend to map it out for you! You and your spouse will be competing to get to the end in no time.

If traveling isn’t realistic for you guys right now, don’t miss the chance to still take a break and unwind. No matter what you do, the important part is that you’re doing it together.


If you would like more help in enriching your relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

On the Other Side of Fear

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Amazing things happen on the other side of fear.

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If you would like help journeying to the other side of fear, please call CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Marriage Insight: Not Wrong, Just Different

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By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

In a survey of seven thousand married individuals, we asked the question, “When in a conflict with your spouse, do you feel unloved or disrespected?” The results were truly staggering. Eighty-three percent of the husbands said “disrespected” and 72 percent of the wives said “unloved.”

How could married men and women, when asked the exact same question, overwhelmingly answer in such opposite fashion? Well, as we like to say, one viewpoint is “not wrong, just different.” As different as male is from female. As different as pink is from blue. That’s why we like to describe wives as approaching conflict through all things pink (love) and husbands as all things blue (respect). This felt need of each reflects perfectly Ephesians 5:33!

Wives, your husband is not approaching conflict with your pink goggles on, but instead is coming at it from his blue vantage point.

Husbands, your wife is not entering conflict with your blue goggles on, but instead is approaching it with pink lenses.

You must always be aware of this vast difference between you and your spouse.

Today’s Question: As a wife, you may feel he ought not to feel disrespected since you seek to do the loving thing by pointing out things he needs to change. As a husband, you may feel she ought not to feel unloved since you seek to do the respectful thing by withdrawing to calm down, to prevent the conflict from escalating. Will you dismiss the other as childish, overly sensitive, and egotistical?

Today’s Challenge: Read this statement and meditate on it every chance you get: “Though I cannot imagine that my spouse ought to feel unloved and disrespected during marital conflicts, since I am seeking to do the respectful and loving thing, I will see that God made us different. We are male and female (Matthew 19:4) with honest differences, especially in the way we deal with conflict. When we clash over differing preferences, and I feel I am right, I will not declare that my spouse has to be wrong. I will subscribe to this truth: Neither of us is wrong, just different.


If you would like help dealing with conflict within your marriage, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our counselors or coaches.

Funday Friday: Dad Joke Humor

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Here’s a “Dad Joke” to add some humor into your life as your Funday Friday post:

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If you would like to add some more joy or humor into your life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.

Pastoral PTSD

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Pastoral PTSD

By J.A. Medders

Pastor Ted plops down in his peeling “leather” office chair, opens his Gmail, swigs his Coke Zero, and reads a two-sentence email from a church member: “Hey, can we meet? I’d like to talk you about something.” Depending on the state of Ted’s heart, he will either be encouraged or exhausted—maybe worried fearful of what’s about to happen.

I’ve been Pastor Ted. Have you?

The Common Pain of Being a Pastor

It’s not uncommon for pastors to have lurking suspicions toward vague and brief requests for a meeting. Why? Well, many pastors have shrapnel and scars from the ministry. When a pastor goes through a storage unit of skirmishes, he might pick up a flinch along the way. Pastors who have been through the fire, the storm, and the hard fought battles—some needed, others ugly and unbiblical—will often come down with this peculiar lack of faith. While I’ve never played a doctor on television, I have a diagnosis: I call it Pastoral Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

Here’s my trauma. At twenty-five years old I became the Lead Pastor of a two-year old church plant. I had no idea I was placing my heart on an ant-bed. While I was already a part of the church, no one expected I’d become the Lead Pastor they were searching for. Nor did I. Dozens of families peacefully left the church after I was installed; it’s like they heard the fat lady sing. I would be lying if I didn’t say it bothered me. But I get why they left. Most of them had been married longer than I had been alive. I was a whippersnapper. But this isn’t what shellshocked me. My church became a street-fight and I wasn’t ready. As if it weren’t bad enough that people left by the dozens and the church finances went cliff diving in shallow water, the personal attacks were jarring.

Here Are My Scars

I’ll never forget when a well respected man in our church and city, came to my office to chat. It was an ambush. Before I knew it, he’s calling me arrogant for not agreeing with him that Adam of Eden wasn’t a real person. “I thought you’d be different and listen to older guys?” He goes on to say how he doesn’t like how I became the Lead Pastor of his church. I can say that I wasn’t too thrilled myself with the position in that moment either! “I’m only staying because I have friends here,” he said. “I can’t imagine you’ll make it anyways.”

One lady wrote to me in an email, even though she said she didn’t mean to be rude, “You are all about yourself. You don’t care about people wanting to know Jesus.”

I remember getting groceries with my daughter when another woman came up to me and said, “I liked going to your church, but you were just too young for us. My husband just couldn’t respect you.” And this was after former members were avoiding me on the previous aisle.

A small group leader eventually left the church because my wife didn’t wave back to him—or see him—while she was chasing our daughter across the cafetorium of the Junior High.

One man stood by my side and advocated for me during the interview process to become the Lead Pastor, only to pull the Benedict Arnold option after my ordination, spreading gossip and doubt among the church.

I could go further, but I think you get the point: Christians, who I thought you were my friends, made me their enemy. Pastoring became a game of Minesweeper. Meeting here, counseling there, going well, and then kaboom. Reset. Bang.

One day, it all came crashing down. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was sick of crawling through the razor-wire of pastoral ministry. While crying in my car, I managed to mumble out a prayer, “Lord, I can’t do this anymore. Would you please do something? I won’t make it, this church won’t make it, unless you do something.”

He did. He heard my mumble. The church finances recovered. The troops retreated. But once the dust settled, I already learned a new set of unfortunate skills for the next couple of years of pastoral ministry. Similar to signs in a parking lot: hide, take, lock. Hide in my office, take precautions, and lock the door. I began to pull back from the sheep, fearing their bark and bite. I locked myself away in my study, only taking the time to pastor the people that I knew weren’t a risk.

Whenever an email, a text, or a quick, “Can we get together this week?” was tossed my way, I immediately ducked for cover. I could feel my heart recoil and my soul would get uneasy. What are they upset about? What did I do? Are they leaving? I bet they are leaving. This reflex paralyzed me. I became like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Whenever I heard the meeting bell ring, I prepared for another disappointing and painful encounter—even if it weren’t true. A full-scale retreat was in motion. Everything felt like a crisis. Everything made me cringe.

Have you been there? Are you there?

Staring Fear In The Face

Not surprisingly, this disorder in my heart led to disorder in my ministry. I found it difficult to connect with people in the church. They felt like potential spies, waiting to execute their orders. “Et tu Brute?” I thought I was surrounded by a bunch of Brutuses instead of Barnabases. While I used to be outgoing, extroverted and playful, I became guarded, introverted, crusty. I didn’t have problems enjoying the company of other pastors and leaders outside of our church. I knew they weren’t out to get me. I trusted them. I knew we were on the same team. We are in similar trenches. But it was the Sunday morning worship service that felt like walking through a haunted house.

I wasn’t mature enough to admit it then, but looking back, I feared the people in our church. For about 3 years, I was terrified of them and hid it by faking toughness, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.” But of course I did. We all do to a certain degree. My heart and mind developed an allergic reaction to the sheep. The closer they got, the itchier I became. I was scared. Some of the sheep seemed like KGB operatives, while others really were kindness in animation.

After 3 years of war, the conflict was purged from the land. The church was experiencing the peace of God, but I was still uneasy. The flinch abideth. Whenever a new, gracious, and supportive church member wanted to get lunch, my stomach would turn. Even though no one gave me an inkling that an insurrection was coming over a salad, it didn’t matter. I was suspicious. I was fearful. I was lacking love. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with me. I became a man of little faith.

His Power Is Perfect In Our Weakness

The reason a pastoral flinch took residence in my heart is that I ceased to believe God’s grace was enough for me in all of these things. Paul endured more difficulties and ministry battles than I can fathom. He asked the Lord to make it easier on him, and what did our Lord say?

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:8–10).

In the wake of attacks, insults and calamities, I failed to believe what we teach little children. I am weak but he is strong. Therefore, I am strong because his power is made perfect in my weakness. I didn’t believe the Lord was at work in me.

Faith is the antidote to pastoral PTSD.

The gospel and the gospel’s glorious gifts bring rejuvenating sanity to pastors. Once 2 Cor. 12:8–10 began to rest on my heart and mind, I could look back at the first three years of my ministry and not refer to it as the First Baptist Chernobyl. I could look back with contentment and thanksgiving—and even, “Boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” God refined me in those years.

The Gospel Is Your Sanity

As soon as I stared my lack of faith in the face, it began to flee. Joy returned as soon as I believed my identity in Christ is more valuable and precious than my ideas of what ministry should be like. My grip loosened on my dreams, and my hands were raised in praise to him. When I began to have faith that all things are working together for good (Rom. 8:28) and that a mob of angry church folk can’t separate me from the love of Christ (Rom. 8:35), excitement and eagerness bloomed again. The glory of Christ gave me faith in future grace to go out and provide, protect, feed, and shepherd his people. He never left me, and never will. I didn’t have to be afraid anymore; I’ve been crucified with Christ, and it’s no longer I who live, but Christ, who loves me and gave himself for me, lives in me (Gal. 2:20). The gospel I preached was—and is—the gospel I need.

Church members, please love your pastors. Honor your pastors—outdo them in showing honor (Rom. 12:10).  Respect and esteem your pastors. “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work” (1 Thess. 5:12–13). Pray for them. Make it a joy for them to pastor you.

Brother Pastor, if you suffering from what has happened to you. Do not fear. Put your trust in the one who’s handled your past, present, and future. You too have a faithful and sympathetic High Priest, the Man of Sorrows, that you point the sheep to. Cry out to him, “Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me; all day long an attacker oppresses me; my enemies trample on me all day long, for many attack me proudly. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?” (Ps. 56:1–4).

God’s grace toward you is not in vain. He is your sanity, stability, and Savior. He himself will restore you, and empower your for where you are and what lies ahead. “After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 5:10–11). May the risen Christ strengthen you in your ministry for his glory, your good, and his church’s good.


If you would like to talk to someone about your struggles in ministry, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.

3 Things I Have Learned While Being Single

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3 Things I Have Learned While Being Single

By Joy Eggerichs

I realize that my generation resists anything that is “3 steps to ________.”  It seems too “packaged” or “consumeristic.”  My apologies.

In thinking about the things I have learned while being single, I wrote some of them down.

This created a list.

That list happened to consist of three things.

Are you seeing the natural progression?

Next time I will let my post be more “organic” and “holistic.” Then we can dialogue.

But back to my list…

1) Work at being content, even when you don’t feel it.

If I’m not content in my singleness I probably won’t be content in marriage. (i.e. like George and Gwennie)

My mother has taught me this and it makes sense.  It’s easy to idealize the things we don’t have or the seasons we aren’t living in.  We look at Facebook and think, “Wow, that person’s life is so much cooler than mine.”

In that moment we have a choice.  We can either let discontent breed in us, or we can be realistic about the situation at hand. For example, Bill and Nancy aren’t posting the photos of the two hours their baby spent in a blood curdling scream.  Or the status update doesn’t read, “Joy Eggerichs is spending Friday night crying in the fetal position.”

Okay, maybe once.

I remember last spring hearing about a woman who had just gotten married and was freaking out about not being able to leave an event when she wanted.  She had to now consider her husband. The patterns and personality we develop in our singleness won’t go away when we get hitched.

Walking home that spring day I expressed gratitude to God for the freedom I had in my singleness…freedom to go and leave as I please.  But should marriage come, I vowed to remember the feeling of yet again going home and still not having anyone to hug me.  Married people often forget the things they have, but once longed for.

That day I chose to strive for contentment, no matter the season.

2) Focus on who you are becoming and learn to give some grace.

So often we are “looking” for the right person and yet my father always reminds me that it’s more important that I “be” the right person.  I don’t think he means striving for perfection as much as he means a shift in focus.

Have you ever written or made a mental list of what you want in a person?

I have. Multiple times.  It’s in a diamond encrusted silver frame. So what?

This can be a healthy reference point.  Especially when you think you’re in love with the girl from the Verizon stand in the middle of the mall because she gave you a discount on your Droid. It may feel like love, but it’s not.

However, I think it’s more important to have a checklist for our own life.  Are we living a higher standard? Are we treating people, our God, and our body in a way that is honoring?  If we can’t say that for ourselves, it seems a bit hypocritical to expect to find someone that makes our list.

We need to extend “checklist” grace to one another.

3) Is God a good God?

There is this whole trend of being angry at God. Especially when it comes to anything we are disappointedabout, i.e. relationships. When relationships are hard or completely lacking, I sense our generation feels like it’s most authentic to be angry at God.

I believe it’s 110% okay to bring our anger to God. But we must not let that manifest itself into sin because it gives the Devil a foothold (Eph 4:26-27) .

“Oh Joy, you sound so silly when you talk about the Devil.”

Yes, I feel silly, but I believe it’s true.  Josh White, a pastor and friend here in Portland, said recently (in my own words) that if we don’t acknowledge the brokenness and darkness of this world, then when something goes wrong, all we will have left to blame is God.

I see this happening far too often.  We get angry at God in our singleness when we desire to be married, or when our friends are having babies or when we realize we are never hugged, or when we wonder who we will grow old with, or whose shoulder we will cry on.

For me, having to answer if God is good affects how I live and react in my singleness.


If you would like to talk to someone about your relationships or being single, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.