Here is some Funday Friday punny humor for you:
If you would like to add some humor or more joy to your daily life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.
Funday Friday Tea Time Pun
Articles from July 2016
Randy Alcorn Talking About His Depression
Renowned Christian writer Randy Alcorn opens up about his struggles with depression during this video interview:
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or a depressed mood, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.
God Will Give You More Than You Can Handle
God Will Give You More than You Can Handle
By Mitch Chase
Christians can make the strangest claims when comforting those who are suffering. What do you say to someone whose life is falling apart? If you have but few precious minutes with a person who’s lost a job, home, spouse, child, or all sense of purpose, what comfort do you give?
We might turn to conventional wisdom instead of Scripture and end up saying something like, “Don’t worry, this wouldn’t happen in your life if God didn’t think you could bear it.” The sufferer may object, head shaking and hands up. But you insist, “Look, seriously, the Bible promises God won’t ever give you more in life than you can handle.” There it is—conventional wisdom masquerading as biblical truth. You’ve promised what the Bible never does.
Temptations Versus Trials
In 1 Corinthians 10, the apostle Paul writes, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” His discussion is specific: he’s writing about “temptation,” a snare that breaks a sweat trying to drag us into sin. Using a predator metaphor, God warned Cain that “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it” (Gen. 4:7). Sin stalks us, but God is faithful. Sin desires to overcome us, but there is a merciful way of escape. Sin sets the bait, but for the believer—praise God!—sin is not irresistible.
Now if people apply Paul’s words about temptation to general sufferings, you can see where the line “God will never give you more than you can handle” comes from. I don’t doubt the sincerity and good intentions of those who use this phrase, but sincerity isn’t enough. Even Job’s friends meant well.
The Twin Errors
There are at least two errors in the unbiblical notion of “God will never give you more than you can handle.” First, it plays on the cultural virtue of fairness. Second, it points the sufferer inward instead of Godward.
1. Trials that Are . . . Fair?
If you give your children boxes to load into the car, you make visual and weight assessments that factor in their ages and strength. You don’t overload their arms and watch them crash to the ground with stuff splayed everywhere. That would be unfair. The saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” strikes a tone of fairness we instinctually like. There’s something pleasing about the idea that the scales are in balance, that God has assessed what we can handle and permits trials accordingly.
But there is a glaring problem with the “fairness” that undergirds this conventional wisdom: God has been unfair already, because he has not dealt with us as our sins deserve. He has been longsuffering, forbearing, gracious, and abounding in love. The sun shines and rain falls even on the unjust (Matt. 5:45). God transcends the categories of fair and unfair to such a degree that we have no position to evaluate his actions or weigh his will. His ways aren’t subject to our culture’s standard of fairness.
2. The Power . . . Within?
Suffering doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It may come slowly or with a vengeance, but it doesn’t ask permission, and it doesn’t care about convenience. There’s never a good time for your life to be wrecked. But the saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” tells me I have what it takes. It tells me I can bear whatever comes my way. It tells me God permits trials according to my ability to endure. Think about what this conventional wisdom does: it points people inward.
Yet the Bible points us Godward. As the psalmist says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Ps. 46:1–3). When our strength is failing under crushing burdens, the answer is not within. God gives power to the faint and increases the strength of the weak (Isa. 40:29). The power comes from him to those who wait on him.
Where Trials Direct Us
Trials come in all shapes and sizes, but they don’t come to show how much we can take or how we have it all together. Overwhelming suffering will come our way because we live in a broken world with broken people. And when it comes, let’s be clear ahead of time that we don’t have what it takes. God will give us more than we can handle—but not more than he can.
The psalmist asks, “Where does my help come from?” (Ps. 121:1), and we must be able to answer like he did. We must know and believe, deep in our bones, that “My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth” (121:2). When trials come, trust that the Lord’s help will come. This news is helpful to sufferers since we’re saying something true about God instead of something false about ourselves.
Paul recalled a time when God gave him more than he could bear. In a letter to the Corinthians, he wrote, “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself” (2 Cor. 1:8). Paul and his associates had been in circumstances that transcended their strength to endure: “Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death” (1:9).
Then he provides a crucial insight into his despair. Why were he and his companions given more than they could handle? To “make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:9). God will give you more than you can handle so that his great power might be displayed in your life. Indeed, a greater weight of glory is still to come: “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 4:17).
You might not consider overwhelming sufferings to be “light” and “momentary,” but think of your trials in terms of a trillion years from now. In the middle of affliction, sometimes the most difficult thing to hold onto is an eternal vision. Paul isn’t trying to minimize your affliction; he’s trying to maximize your perspective.
Suffering doesn’t get the last line in the script. In this life, God will give you more than you can handle, but the coming weight of glory will be greater than you can imagine.
If you are struggling with life’s trials and temptations and pressures, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.
5 Phrases That Can Kill a Relationship…And Alternatives That Will Bring You Closer Together
5 Phrases That Can Kill a Relationship
…And Alternatives That Will Bring You Closer Together
By Kira Asatryan
Any relationship can benefit from more closeness. Closeness is created between two people through knowing each other well and caring for each other openly. These are simple actions you can start doing any time, with anyone you choose. Closeness—the antidote to loneliness—is very much within your control.
One of the first things I encourage my clients to do to create more closeness in their relationships is to adjust their language in small but powerful ways.
Here are 5 phrases to avoid if you want your relationships to feel closer:
1. “Why?”
A first phrase to avoid is just one single word: “Why” isn’t the best way to pose a question to someone you want to be close to because it can unintentionally create defensiveness. “Why” is the language of accusation (“Why did you do that?”; “Why do you feel that way?”). Despite what may be innocent intentions, that single word primes another person to think of reasons to defend himself or herself.
To feel the subversive power of “why,” the next time you sit down to a nice dinner or to watch a movie, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Feel the anxiety it provokes? That’s the same anxiety most “why” questions provoke in others—and it’s an experience that will not bring you closer to someone
Alternative: Rephrase your “why” questions as “what” or “how” questions. “Why am I doing this?” becomes “What am I getting out of this?” Feel the difference? The first version accuses; the second just wants to understand.
2. “You need to…”
“You” is a tricky word in the closeness vocabulary. It can certainly bring people together (“You are so sweet”) but when it slides into telling your partner what he or she needs to be doing differently, it can definitely cause division.
The key phrases to pay attention to are the ones that begin with, “You need to…” (“You need to be more assertive”; “You need to be more organized”). These have the potential to hinder closeness because they imply that your partner should change in some specific way, based on your opinions. When creating closeness, it’s best not to present your opinions as mandates. “You need to” creates a mandate that will drive a wedge between people.
Alternative: Try focusing on your own experience of the situation. For example, “You need to be more assertive” might become, “I would like us to make more decisions together.” “You need to be more organized” might become, “I wonder if we can work on straightening out the closets.” Sharing your perspective on the situation fosters closeness and prevents gaps from forming.
3. “I’m sorry if…”
Almost everyone finds it hard to admit when they’ve done something wrong. But as we all make mistakes in our lives, apologizing is essential to maintaining closeness over a long period of time. One of the biggest mistakes people make here is starting an apology with, “I’m sorry if…” (“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings”; “I’m sorry if you felt that way”).
These are not apologies that create closeness because closeness is bolstered by taking at least some responsibility when you’ve done something wrong. Using “if” in your apology allows you to dodge responsibility by putting it back on the other person. “I’m sorry if you felt that way.” See that big “you” there?
Alternative: Apologizing well is about being committed to taking some responsibility. “I’m sorry I…” and “I’m sorry for…” work infinitely better than “I’m sorry if…” A simple “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” is the type of apology that brings people closer together.
4. “Why don’t you just…”
You know this phrase is trouble because it starts with a “why”—but it gets its own spot in the Top 5 because this and its other versions (“You could just…”; “You should just…”) shut down conversation when your partner needs it most—when he or she is struggling.
Giving your partner advice or offering up solutions to problems is great—when he or she asks for it. But when he or she simply wants to tell you about one of their struggles, inserting a “why don’t you just…” implies that the struggle is not valid. From your point of view it seems that it could easily be solved if they just did x, y, or z. This creates distance because, although it may not have been your intention, you just invalidated their experience.
Alternative: When your partner is struggling with something, your main task is to be present and engaged. That stance in its very simplicity creates the most closeness. And when he or she is ready to do something differently, then offer to help brainstorm solutions. Collaboration is advice, closeness-style.
5. “Not right now.”
Most of us lead busy lives and it’s not always possible to drop what you’re doing and listen to your husband’s work story, or take your mother’s call. Nevertheless, being engaged with those you want to be close to on a consistent basis is extremely important and the phrase “not right now” without any follow-up fosters a feeling of rejection.
Alternative: If you’re engrossed in something at the moment your partner wants to engage, try replacing “not right now” with a request for a specific amount of time. “I just need 20 minutes on this and then I’d love to listen,” elicits a totally different feeling from “not right now.”
If you would like help with your relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.
Frazzled Mom, Exhausted Wife: What to Do When Everyone Needs You
Frazzled Mom, Exhausted Wife: What to Do When Everyone Needs You
By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
Being a wife and a mom is one of life’s greatest joys. Partnering with your husband to raise a family is an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling role; however, it’s challenging all at the same time. The role of a wife and mom is not only a huge blessing but a huge responsibility–and it can leave you completely WORN OUT. That’s where daycares come in. They can take some of this tiredness and stress off your shoulders for a while, leaving you to relax. Daycares, like KLA Schools (view website here), can take your child off your hands for a while, whilst also offering you the opportunity to invest in the business. If you find that you love the daycare business, you could always consider investing in your child’s future that way. However, this is up to you.
The kids have fifteen different places they need to be and, on top of all that, they have a mile-long list of school supplies waiting to be purchased and thrown into their backpacks. Your husband’s working late, and needs you to set up and prepare for your small group to come over, and the babysitter just called and canceled for the second time this month.
So what do you do when it’s all just too much? What do you do when everyone needs something from you, and it feels like everyone forgot you’re only one person?
Here are few things to remember:
FOCUS ON GRATITUDE
There was a time in your life when you were longing for this. You anxiously awaited the moment you would walk down the aisle to say, “I do,” to your husband. Your heart leapt for joy when you found out you were pregnant, and for nine months you dreamed of holding that sweet baby. Take your mind back to those moments.
Remember, it’s all a gift. Sure, your child may be screaming in your face, but soon they’ll sleep, and you’ll catch yourself staring at their peaceful little faces and wonder where the time has gone. A mindset of gratitude and joy will not only give you a calm demeanor; it will overflow and impact your family as well.
BUILD IN TIME AND SPACE FOR YOURSELF
In all of your planning and coordinating, don’t forget to schedule some time for yourself. Maybe this season of life doesn’t allow much time for you to sneak away for an afternoon alone, but look for a window of time in your week where you can sit on your porch with a cup of coffee or spend a few minutes reading a book. The mental break will rejuvenate and refresh your spirit and offer you the chance to breathe for a minute.
ASK FOR HELP
No one’s asking you to be Superwoman.
There are a lot of requests coming your way and a lot of things on your plate. Don’t be scared to call in back-up. Maybe you need to ask a friend to watch your children one afternoon so you can get a few things done around the house. Maybe you need to call a family member and ask for some advice. Your closest friends and family have your best interests at heart, and they want what’s best for you.
Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to things. Share responsibilities with your husband. We’ve all heard the common phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” That statement resonates with us because we know it’s true. You don’t have to do it all alone. You could even consider looking at getting some extra help by visiting Go Au Pair, for example. They can help take some of the pressure off you for a while by living in your house if required. This can offer a lot more support when taking care of the children. Every working mom will be busy, so it might be worth looking into an au pair who can offer a cultural exchange experience and can take good care of your children, allowing you to get on with some of your work.
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
There are a lot of rabbit trails of doubt, worry, and self-consciousness you can go down when you are overwhelmed and tired. One major thing that can fuel the fire of exhaustion and stress is the internet. While we have every resource, piece of advice, and article imaginable at our fingertips, we also are bombarded with pictures, posts, updates, and requests through social media. What can start as a quick “Facebook break” turns into an unexpected self-shaming campaign because you think another mom is doing everything so much better than you are, or another couple looks so much happier.
Give yourself a break. Remember that social media is a highlight reel for many people, and you’re only seeing one side of the story. Focus on your marriage, your children, and your family. Life does not have to look like every Pinterest meal you see, and your kids do not have to win every award the neighbor’s’ kid won. Love your family the way God calls you to love your family–not the way Instagram tells you to love your family.
No one is looking to you for perfection. Your husband loves you for who you are, not what you do. Your children need your love, affection, and guidance, and they’ll be okay if they don’t have a sandwich cut in the shape of a heart. You’re a good wife and a good mom. Just take a deep breath…and maybe grab a cup of coffee!
If you are struggling with some of the stresses of life and would like someone to talk with about life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.
Funday Friday: More Utterly Funny Cow Humor
Here is some utterly funny cow humor for your Funday Friday:
If you would like to add some more joy to your life, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.
Listening When You Can’t Possibly Hear Everyone
Listening When You Can’t Possibly Hear Everyone
By Sam Rainer
If you’re like me, you want your voice heard, even at the top levels of leadership. I may not be able to have lunch with the President of the United States, but I do want to feel like he’s listening to me. I don’t believe it’s an unreasonable expectation of followers to want their voices heard by top leaders.
As a leader, you should want to be at the ground level. All leaders should listen carefully, with posture of learning. But you can’t possibly be with everyone all the time. If you lead a church of more than 75 people (the median church size), then it’s tough to listen to everyone. Even if you tried, decisions that should take weeks could end up taking years. You would become a poor leader because of an inability to steward time.
Some leaders use listening as an excuse not to make a decision. They hide their lack of vision, lack of discernment, or lack of courage to make a decision behind the guise of listening to people. But that’s not most leaders. Most leaders should listen more.
How can you listen when you can’t possibly hear everyone?
Use discernment. Not everyone wants to be heard on every issue. At any given point, only a portion of people will have strong opinions. Some won’t have an opinion. Others may not have the expertise or experience to weigh in on a particular topic. It’s not necessary to get everyone’s take all the time. The best listening leaders know how to steward time.
Be accessible. You can’t be available to everyone, but you can be accessible. Constant availability is a trap. Available church leaders are in one spot, on demand and at the command of others’ schedules. Accessibility means you’re reachable and approachable. Accessible church leaders have an intentional strategy to be among as many people as possible, but on their own schedules.
Take time. If you need an extra month to track the pulse of the congregation, take it. Dragging out a decision for a year is indecisive leadership. Taking an extra week or month may mean the difference of respecting the voice of the congregation or not.
Utilize others. Use staff, deacons, or other key leaders to be the—constant—eyes and ears. You can’t be everywhere, but you can have ears listening in many places for you.
Don’t hide. Leadership is a gift from followers. Don’t selfishly hoard it by hiding. Hold town hall gatherings. Attend committee meetings. Visit Sunday school classes. Hang out. Simply be among the people and listen. Perhaps people will talk about how you listen.
Follow up. Lastly, one of the best ways to listen is to follow up personally with detractors. Winning them over can go a long way for future work, and it also makes a statement to the congregation that you’re willing to hear all sides.
You can’t possibly listen to everyone. But you can make sure everyone has a voice.
_____________________________
If you would like to learn more, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.
Teen Depression
Teen Depression
By NIMH
You are not alone.
There are ways you can feel better.
If you have been feeling sad, hopeless, or irritable for what seems like a long time, you might have depression.
- Depression is a real, treatable brain illness, or health problem.
- Depression can be caused by big transitions in life, stress, or changes in your body’s chemicals that affect your thoughts and moods.
- Even if you feel hopeless, depression gets better with treatment.
- There are lots of people who understand and want to help you.
- Ask for help as early as you can so you can get back to being yourself.
Regular sadness and depression are not the same
Regular sadness
Feeling moody, sad, or grouchy? Who doesn’t once in a while? It’s easy to have a couple of bad days. Your schoolwork, activities, and family and friend drama, all mixed with not enough sleep, can leave you feeling overwhelmed. On top of that, teen hormones can be all over the place and also make you moody or cry about the smallest thing. Regular moodiness and sadness usually go away quickly though, within a couple of days. It might help to talk to MMJ doctors in Kansas City to get some support through it.
Depression
Untreated depression is a more intense feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and anger or frustration that lasts much longer, such as for weeks, months, or longer. These feelings make it hard for you to function as you normally would or participate in your usual activities. You may also have trouble focusing and feel like you have little to no motivation or energy. You may not even feel like seeing your best friends. Depression can make you feel like it is hard to enjoy life or even get through the day. For this reason, it is very important that you seek medical help for your depression, as there is help out there for you. Some people with depression often look for alternative methods to help treat their symptoms. They may buy CBD products using this Joy organics coupon code as a way to help treat themselves. Whatever you feel, it is important to get help. Get in touch with your local physician and speak with them about treatment options for you.
Know the signs and symptoms of depression
Most of the day or nearly every day you may feel one or all of the following:
- Sad
- Empty
- Hopeless
- Angry, cranky, or frustrated, even at minor things
You also may:
- Not care about things or activities you used to enjoy.
- Have weight loss when you are not dieting or weight gain from eating too much.
- Have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or sleep much more than usual.
- Move or talk more slowly.
- Feel restless or have trouble sitting still.
- Feel very tired or like you have no energy.
- Feel worthless or very guilty.
- Have trouble concentrating, remembering information, or making decisions.
- Think about dying or suicide or try suicide.
Not everyone experiences depression the same way. And depression can occur at the same time as other mental health problems, such as anxiety, an eating disorder, or substance abuse.
If you think you are depressed, ask for help as early as you can
1. Talk to:
- Your parents or guardian
- Your teacher or counselor
- Your doctor
- A helpline, such as 1-800-273-TALK (8255), free 24-hour help
- Or call 911 if you are in a crisis or want to hurt yourself.
2. Ask your parent or guardian to make an appointment with your doctor for a checkup. Your doctor can make sure that you do not have another health problem that is causing your depression. If your doctor finds that you do not have another health problem, he or she can treat your depression or refer you to a mental health professional. A mental health professional can give you a thorough evaluation and also treat your depression.
3. Talk to a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, counselor, psychologist, or other therapist. These mental health professionals can diagnose and treat depression and other mental health problems.
There are ways you can feel better
Effective treatments for depression include talk therapy or a combination of talk therapy and medicine.
Talk therapy
A therapist, such as a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a social worker, or counselor can help you understand and manage your moods and feelings. You can talk out your emotions to someone who understands and supports you. You can also learn how to stop thinking negatively and start to look at the positives in life. This will help you build confidence and feel better about yourself. Research has shown that certain types of talk therapy or psychotherapy can help teens deal with depression. These include cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on thoughts, behaviors, and feelings related to depression, and interpersonal psychotherapy, which focuses on working on relationships.
Read more about talk therapies at www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies.
Medicines
If your doctor thinks you need medicine to help your depression, he or she can prescribe an antidepressant. There are a few antidepressants that have been widely studied and proven to help teens. If your doctor recommends medicine, it is important to see your doctor regularly and tell your parents or guardian about your feelings, especially if you start feeling worse or have thoughts of hurting yourself. It might be a good idea for some, with parential permission, to try CBD oil from Zuya. It has been known to support those who have depression to work towards an emotional solution.
Read more about medicines for depression at www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/mental-health-medications.
Be good to yourself
Besides seeing a doctor and a counselor, you can also help your depression by being patient with yourself and good to yourself. Don’t expect to get better immediately, but you will feel yourself improving gradually over time.
- Daily exercise, getting enough sleep, spending time outside in nature and in the sun, or eating healthy foods can also help you feel better.
- Your counselor may teach you how to be aware of your feelings and teach you relaxation techniques. Use these when you start feeling down or upset.
- Try to spend time with supportive family members. Talking with your parents, guardian, or other family members who listen and care about you gives you support and they can make you laugh.
- Try to get out with friends and try fun things that help you express yourself.
Depression can affect relationships
It’s understandable that you don’t want to tell other people that you have been struggling with depression. But know that depression can affect your relationships with family and friends, and how you perform at school. Maybe your grades have dropped because you find it hard to concentrate and stay on top of school. Teachers may think that you aren’t trying in class. Maybe because you’re feeling hopeless, peers think you are too negative and start giving you a hard time.
Know that their misunderstanding won’t last forever because you are getting better with treatment. Think about talking with people you trust to help them understand what you are going through.
Depression is not your fault or caused by something you did wrong
Depression is a real, treatable brain illness, or health problem. Depression can be caused by big transitions in life, stress, or changes in your body’s chemicals that affect your thoughts and moods. Depression can run in families. Maybe you haven’t realized that you have depression and have been blaming yourself for being negative. Remember that depression is not your fault!
Learn more
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): www.nimh.nih.gov.
NIDA for Teens, Drugs & Health: http://teens.drugabuse.gov/blog
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255), free 24-hour help
If you or your child is struggling with depression, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.
Can You and Your Partner Agree to Disagree?
Can You and Your Partner Agree to Disagree?
By Lean Seltzer
Let’s agree to disagree.
Certainly, you’ve heard the phrase before, perhaps so often that it’s ceased to have much meaning to you. But the fact is that in a long-term, committed relationship, when circumstances oblige you to confront significant differences with your partner, nothing could be more crucial than agreeing to disagree.
In my 30-plus years of doing therapy, I’ve found that helping couples learn to truly accept their inevitable dissimilarities—and to take them in stride—serves not only to protect marital harmony in situations of potential conflict but, even more, to help the relationship reach its full potential.
Not that such a near-paradoxical accord, adaptation, or accommodation is easy to accomplish. Most of the time it can be extremely challenging—for most couples, reaching the point where they’re able to comfortably agree to disagree can take not months but years, if their relationship ever achieves that enviable state of grace at all.
Why?
Well, if you operate the way most people do, when your partner takes exception to your viewpoint—or introduces one sharply contrasting with yours—you may find it almost impossible not to experience them as invalidating you, personally attacking you, or striving to defeat you. And if this is how you perceive them in the moment—not as your lifetime companion but as your willful adversary—then you’re compelled to strike back, defend yourself, or even exit the situation entirely, whether mentally, emotionally, or physically. After all, in that instant of disagreement their words have managed to morph them into your enemy. How could this not be the case if, somewhere deep in your gut, you experience their contrary point of view as somehow puncturing your own? (And incidentally, there’s an awfully good chance they’ll be reacting to you similarly—i.e., experiencing your position as aiming poison arrows at theirs.)
This, of course, is when you’re most likely to summon all your mental energy to prove them wrong. For it may feel as though it’s absolutely critical to defend your position. In that moment of perceived threat you may feel (without really understanding why) as if your viewpoint represents something intimately connected to your essence, so that making any concessions would be to sacrifice the innermost core of your being.
And to the extent that you identify yourself with your mind—that you unconsciously regard yourself as equitable to it—then the thought of changing your mind, or simply detaching from it, can feel untenable, even hazardous. So it can be exceedingly difficult to avoid taking your partner’s disagreement personally, especially when you can’t help attributing a certain authority to them; they are, after all, your “match.”
Additionally, when your partner takes exception to what you’re saying, it can feel like a total withdrawal of their loyalty and support—all the more so if you’re dependent on their approval. Yet what’s imperative to understand is that on most occasions your disagreements merely mean that the two of you happen not to see something the same way—or that your wants or needs on a particular matter differ. Not being each other’s clones, naturally you’re not going to share all the same preferences.
No big deal, right?
If in that moment of disagreement you actually feel abandoned by your partner, it can be a very big deal. You can feel completely out of harmony with them—frustrated, demeaned, disregarded, disconnected, alienated, and/or betrayed. At least that’s what the child part of you may be experiencing—and it can be intensely uncomfortable and disconcerting.
Move from Menacing Disagreements to Safe Ones
For the rest of the article, check out the article in full at Psychology Today.
If you would like help with your relationship, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a coach or counselor.
9 Things You Should Know About Mental Health
9 Things You Should Know About Mental Health
By Joe Carter
In 2013, President Obama proclaimed May as National Mental Health Awareness Month, a time set aside to bring the issue of mental health to the attention of the American public. Here are nine things you should know about issues related to mental health:
1. Nearly 1-in-5 Americans over age 18 will experience a diagnosable mental health disorder in a given year, and nearly half (46.4 percent) will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime. For some people, suffering with a mental illness can take over a large part of their lives, to the point where looking into something like Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) would be the next step, if their health makes them unable to work for a living. There are always people out there willing to help, especially when it comes to mental health.
2. Approximately 70 percent of Americans experience physical and non-physical symptoms of stress, but only 37 percent think they are doing very well at managing stress. In today’s fast-paced world, so much is happening and consumed that we are reacting differently to what we have been before, we are also more open about anxiety and how we feel. Alternative medicines are being looked at more now because a wide number are finding comfort and help in using them, compared to traditional medicines. Products derived from cannabis are some of the most well-known to be used and their growing popularity means that there are now even multiple flavorings for cannabis products. The use of these products can help the user to lower their stress levels, promote a sense of calm and relaxation, improve mood, as well as aid with sleep quality. The list of benefits is only set to grow as more and more research is conducted in this emerging treatment, as will the number of methods used to consume it. For instance, you can find help with how to use budder, a derivative of Cannabis, and see how it could be a possibility in the treatment of anxiety. However, it is always recommended that you check with your doctor first before embarking on any new course of treatment.
3. There are a wide variety of anxiety disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and specific phobias, etc. Collectively they are among the most common mental disorders experienced by Americans, affecting 18.1 of the U.S. adult population. 22.8 percent of these cases (4.1 percent of the population) are considered severe. The average age of onset for anxiety disorders is 11 years old.
4. Women are 60 percent more likely than men to experience an anxiety disorder. Non-Hispanic blacks are 20 percent less likely, and Hispanic men are 30 percent less likely, than non-Hispanic whites to experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime.
5. Neuropsychiatric disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S., followed by cardiovascular and circulatory diseases and neoplasms. The neuropsychiatric disorders category includes mental and behavioral disorders, which account for 13.6 percent of total U.S. DALYs; and neurological disorders, which account for 5.1 percent of total U.S. DALYs. (DALYs represent the total number of years lost to illness, disability, or premature death within a given population.)
6. Approximately 3.5 million people in the U.S. are diagnosed with schizophrenia, one of the leading causes of disability. This could have a debilitating impact on your personal and working life, as it may affect you from being able to carry out a job professionally. As a result, many people make the decision to have a look at something like this disability insurance guide to find out more about how an individual disability insurance plan can help them when it comes to living with a disability, such as schizophrenia. Did you know that three-quarters of persons with schizophrenia develop the illness between the ages of 16 and 25? Studies have indicated that 25 percent of those having schizophrenia recover completely, 50 percent are improved over a 10-year period, and 25 percent do not improve over time. Treatment and other economic costs due to schizophrenia are estimated between $32.5 and $65 billion annually.
7. Throughout the world, more than 800,000 people die by suicide every year-around one person every 40 seconds. Currently, only 28 countries are known to have national suicide prevention strategies.
8. Most Protestant senior pastors (66 percent) seldom speak to their congregation about mental illness, according to a study by LifeWay Research. That includes almost half (49 percent) who rarely (39 percent) or never (10 percent), speak about mental illness. About 1 in 6 pastors (16 percent) speak about mental illness once a year. And about quarter of pastors (22 percent) are reluctant to help those who suffer from acute mental illness because it takes too much time.
9. When researchers asked those with mental illness about their experience in church 10 percent said they’ve changed churches because of how a particular church responded to their mental illness. Another 13 percent either stopped attending church (8 percent) or could not find a church (5 percent). More than a third, 37 percent, answered, “don’t know,” when asked how their church’s reaction to their illness affected them. Over half, 53 percent, say their church has been supportive while about thirteen percent say their church was not supportive.