Here is a little Funday Friday humor full of jars and Jar Jars.
If you would like to add some more joy and humor to your life, give CornerStone Family Services a call at 614-459-3003 to set up an appointment with one of our counselors or coaches.
Take a look at this video that will help you understand the power and freedom from stress and worries when you remember to “put down your glass.”
If you would like help putting down your glass of stress and worry, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to set up an appointment with one of our coaches or counselors.
By Paul Angone (posted in iamsecond.com)
Over Christmas I met with one of my longtime mentors, Erik Dixon, and he said something so profound that I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
Erik has been one of the biggest influences in my life since I was 16. He would show such consistent and radical care about me that it helped take me out of some dark teenage holes that I was falling into.
And he’s still dropping insight-bombs on me, like the one he did over coffee about a concept that was the secret to being more productive, being less sick, getting a better night’s rest, experiencing less stress and anxiety — basically a range of life-changing benefits that would make a super-drug blush with envy (without the long list of side-effects that make you squirm, to go with it).
Then, I came back from vacation, and lo and behold my 60+ year-old neighbor Mary hits me with the same concept. She told me a story of singing in a choir at a funeral. She described being in a beautiful cathedral in front of a giant organ and becoming so overwhelmed with this concept, the same one Erik just described to me, that I could feel the joy bursting from inside of her.
So what’s this concept that Erik and Mary both subscribe to?
What’s this concept that I’ve been focusing on myself and already starting to feel a profound difference?
What’s the word that can so radically change your life?
Gratitude.
The power of gratitude.
Numerous studies have shown the power of gratitude and the range of positive effects.
Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week — one group focusing on things they were grateful for, one group focusing on things that were bugging them, and the third group with no focus on positive or negative.
The results, as described in Harvard Health Publications, were that after 10 weeks, “those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.”
Other studies have shown that bosses who expressed their gratitude to employees saw a 50% increase in making sales calls than those who they didn’t thank.
A study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person, but also felt more comfortable talking about their relationship.
Don’t cherish what you have until it’s ripped away.
When being grateful becomes a way of life you start realizing how much you have to be grateful for.
I know I focus so much on what I’m trying to obtain that I lose sight of what I already have. It’s the old cliche of “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”
I have written all about ” the best years of my life” in my book All Groan Up:Searching for Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job, and how I only felt that way once the season was over.
While living in that season, I complained, grumbled, and focused on the shortcomings. When the season was over, then I realized all that I missed.
It’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy.
Don’t cherish what you have until it’s ripped away.
If you focus on the good, more good will consistently be revealed.
It’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy.
This week, no matter what peak or valley you find yourself in right now, what if you made a focused effort to be grateful?
Stop what you’re doing and write down five things you are grateful for. No matter your current mood. Share them in the comments on this article. It doesn’t have to be overly profound.
Now how do you feel? Do you have any specific emotions you feel the strongest right now?
Don’t think you can come up with five things to be grateful for? Well, take a trip to the bathroom. Seriously.
If you have running water, an indoor toilet to sit on, a shower that provides hot water like a magician, and soft cloud-like paper to wipe yourself, you’ve already got a lot to be grateful for.
Here’s a little atom humor for your Funday Friday:
If you would like help adding more humor and joy into your life, give CornerStone Family Services a call at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.
Too often we find ourselves anxious or depressed about things that are outside of our control and not paying attention to or acting upon the things that are within our control. Take a look at the list below and try focusing your mental and emotional efforts on these things rather than the things outside of your control.
If you would like more help in this area, please call CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or coach.
By Ashley Willis (from iamsecond.com)
“Phubbing” is ruining relationships, according to a recent study. It’s rampant, and it’s a behavior we’ve grown to accept as a society. So, what is phubbing?
A friend of mine sent me an article on phubbing, and I read it only because I honestly had never heard the term before. When I began reading it, I quickly realized that most of us are extremely familiar with the act of phubbing–we just didn’t know it had a name.
So what is it?
According to the article, “Phubbing’ is ruining American relationships,” phubbing your partner is the act of being on your cellphone instead of giving them your full attention when the two of you are together.
As my husband, Dave, and I have discussed in many of our blogs, excessive cell phone usage is extremely detrimental to marriages.
According to the article, partners who felt “phubbed” were not only dissatisfied with their relationship, but many eventually experienced depression over time. This is very concerning.
As a married couple, we must prioritize our spouse over our cell phone. This probably seems like a given to most of you, but Reader, believing this and doing it are two different things. I know, because I struggle with this issue too.
I feel the pressure of responding to emails and Facebook messages. I love perusing social media, too. But, I can’t let these things control me. They are TOOLS, and if I’m not careful, they can become real TIME-SUCKERS that take away from my family.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen the disappointment in my husband’s face when I wouldn’t put my phone down, and I kept on looking at my phone any way. In those moments, I was choosing a device over my husband. I chose to retreat from my husband–who was right in front of me–instead of engage with him. I will never get those moments back, but, thankfully, I’ve learned from my mistakes.
Please hear me, Dear Reader: OUR SPOUSE DESERVES OUR FIRST AND BEST ATTENTION–A DEVICE DOES NOT.
So, let’s take a good look at our marriages. Think about your communication habits. Are you phubbing your spouse? If so, please join me in choosing to STOP obsessing over our phone and giving our partner our first and best attention…before it’s too late.
Here’s a little humor based on the Bible for your Funday Friday:
If you would like to add some more joy into your life, please contact one of the counselors or coaches of CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003.
By Erik Raymond
“How can I read more books?” I’ve gotten this question a number of times since I’ve started posting more book reviews here on the blog. Here are some of my thoughts to this question.
This past year I have attempted to become more intentional with my reading. In previous years I have read a lot but I would not say that I read well. My reading lacked a detailed attack plan. As a result, sometimes reading happened and other times it did not. What’s more, I felt as though my reading was more chosen for me rather than me choosing it. I read what I thought I needed to read for my job. Over the last few years I have been slowly making adjustments and feel like I am in the best place that I’ve been since I first became a Christian. I am reading more and enjoying it much more. With summer here, and summer reading listing abounding, here are some personal discoveries that were helpful to me.
I created a simple excel spreadsheet that includes a bunch of books that I think I should read or want to read. Books can be costly and with such a variety accessible to us all, maybe go and check out shoppok. Towards the end of each month I pick out books from the list and put them under the upcoming month. This process of assigning myself books has been very helpful for me. After ordering the list I put a (tentative) start date and due date in a column and then keep track during the month. It is important to remember that you have to be reasonable here. Since most people don’t read books as fast as Al Mohler it does not make sense to set yourself up for failure and say that you are going to read 100 books in July. Make a reasonable plan and chart the course.
This has been new for me. I used to read what I thought I needed to read to keep up with current trends or to do what I needed to do work-wise. Now I have tried to make each month have at least one biography and one fiction book to go along with the theological reading. In time I would like to add some books on history because I know this is not a particularly strong suite of mine. This variation has been surprising for me. Several years ago my wife bought me one of Marilyn Robinson’s books, Gilead. I never read it because I didn’t have time to read a book “like this”. But now with these changes I have read two books by Robinson this year (including Gilead) and have really enjoyed them. If I had not made myself read them then I would not have read them. And, if I’d not read them then I would never have found the pleasure that I found in reading them. The variation has been real good for me.
I always thought something was wrong with me because I would hear others talk about how they loved to read. I didn’t love to read as much as I loved to get information. After reading a couple of books that pointed out how we tend to miss out on the pleasure of reading because we are hounds for information, I began to wonder if I could change this. I decided to treat the book like Jacob treated a wrestling match with the angel, “I won’t let you go until you bless me!” I’ve grabbed some books that people say are really good and, with trust in their recommendations, would read them through. Over time I’ve found that I really enjoyed the books. Reading became pleasurable. It actually worked. Now, I’m enjoying reading more and as a result, joyfully reading more books. (books on pleasure: Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction, and The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains. I also have found Tony Reinke’s book Lit! to be very helpful for cultivating an appetite and plan for reading.)
If you are not competitive then feel free to skip this one. I am very competitive. When I set a schedule for reading it is like setting a goal for running, lifting or cycling. I set a goal for how many books I wanted to read this year. Once you figure out what you need to do per month it becomes a friendly competition with yourself. Like anything, this can be taken to extremes, but, if done right, this can be a nice way to get more reading in.
I used to get discouraged when reading because I’d be in the middle of a book that was not very good but felt like I had to finish it. One day I just said, “this book stinks. I’m not reading this.” I put it away and moved on to another book. I ended that relationship quickly and painlessly. Moving on to the next book was really good for my reading.
I schedule time for reading. Most of the time it is early in the morning and/or over the lunch hour. I rarely read in the evenings or on my days off when I am home with my kids. If you block out 45 minutes a day to read and you read 20 pages (this is an average reading speed) then you will read 600 pages a month! That’s about 3-4 books per month, and nearly 50 per year! Think about that. But, if you don’t guard this time and you do something else during that time (fill in the blank) then you will miss being shaped by these books. I try to guard my reading time with a tempered reasonableness. It’s not so important that it cannot be replaced but it cannot be replaced flippantly or easily.
It just makes sense to take a book with you. There are many times that we are waiting for someone or something and instead of reading headlines or social media, we could be reading a book. Throw a book in you car, purse, or backpack; you’ll be glad you did the next time you are waiting. I also have been blessed by the technological developments that allow us to read electronically. My Kindle has been a very valuable tool here. Of late I have been using my Kindle app on my iPhone to read books to me while I exercise, commute, or do menial tasks. In the video below you can get the gist of how to do this.
Maybe you are not competitive and have had trouble persevering in reading. I have seen people greatly increase their reading by being part of a group that reads books. Whether at church, work, family, or neighborhood, get some friends together to read and discuss the books. You will doubtless find yourself reading (and thinking) more in a group.
These are some random thoughts from the last year or so of trying to read more efficiently. What about you? Do you have any thoughts on what has worked well for you?
Do you or a loved one wonder if you have more than a drug or alcohol “problem”? Are people questioning your statements that you can stop whenever you want to? Have you found yourself turning to substances on a regular basis as a way of dealing with your struggles, numbing your pain, or as a way to get joy in life?
Are you courageous enough and strong enough to be honest with yourself and others? If so, take the tests on the linked image:
If you or a loved one is struggling or addicted to a substance please don’t put off seeking help. Contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with one of our counselors skilled in dealing with substance issues.
Here is a little bovine humor for your Funday Friday:
For more help elevating your mood, please contact CornerStone Family Services at 614-459-3003 to talk with a counselor or a coach.