Rejection Relief

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Sad young woman against happiness couple

Rejection Relief

Being Dumped Can Be Excruciating, But There Are Proven Ways to Ameliorate the Pain

By Lisa Phillips Psychology Today, May/June 2015, p 85

Reconnect With Yourself
Because so much of who we are is tied up in relationships, psychologist David Sbarra says breakups often shatter our sense of identity.  When you can once again answer fundamental questions, such as Who am I? Who are my friends? How should I spend my time?, you’re more likely to have a better overall sense of psychological well-being. “We start to feel better when we start to know ourselves again, not the other way around,” he says.

Cultivate Self-Love
Hard as it might be when you’ve been rejected, being compassionate and gentle with yourself is an important component of the recovery process, according to a study Sbarra made of people coping with divorce. He found that they bounce back faster when “they are kind of forgiving of what they did or did not do in their marriage and experience emotion without getting stuck in anger, sadness, or regret,” he says.

Break All Ties
Taking a page from the addiction recovery playbook, experts strenuously recommend cutting off all contact with an ex. “It’s going to be painful…but that the beginning of getting over it,” psychologist Albert Wakins says. Although it’s the last thing that obsessed lovers may want to hear, anthropologist Helen Fisher concurs: “Don’t call. Don’t write. Don’t ask friends about the person. Put any reminders in the back of a closet – if you’ve sworn off alcohol, you can’t have a bottle of vodka on the desk.”

Foster Other Attachments
Engage in activities that boost dopamine and serotonin, such as physical exercise and trying new things. Psychologist Audrey Sherman says anything self-soothing that takes your mind off the relationship, that feels good, and that isn’t destructive will be helpful. Other mood boosters could include going to the movies, dancing, reading, meditating, and spending a day at a spa.

See a Professional
The postbreakup brain state, while undeniably unpleasant, nevertheless presents an ideal moment to seek therapy. Fisher’s research found that after a romantic rejection, people showed increased activity in the forebrain area associated with responding to gains and losses – a reflection of the rejected lover’s determination to figure out what happened to the relationship. “You’re already thinking: Why did he do this? What did I do wrong?” she says. “You’re receptive.”

14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

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14 Signs You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

By Matt Duczeminski

glass of waterThere’s not much in this world more refreshing than a tall, ice-cold glass of water. I don’t think there’s anyone alive that can deny that sometimes, a simple glass of water can be more satisfying than a cup of coffee or a can of soda. Despite this, too many of us don’t drink enough water on a daily basis. By depriving ourselves of the world’s most natural resource, we are continuously damaging our bodies. To improve your water consumption experience in the home, you could consider investing in water filtration products. See here for reviews of products on the market – If you experience any of the following, you can improve your situation by starting with a glass of H2O.

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1. Your Mouth is Dry

This seems pretty obvious, but the ramifications might not be so. Of course, any time you feel that sticky, nasty feeling in your mouth, you’d obviously reach for some sort of liquid. But sugary drinks are only a temporary solution to a larger problem. Drinking water lubricates the mucus membranes in your mouth and throat, which will continue to keep your mouth moist with saliva long after that first sip.

2. Your Skin is Dry

Your skin is your body’s largest organ, so of course it needs to stay hydrated. In fact, dry skin is one of the earliest signs of full-on dehydration, which can lead to much larger problems. A lack of water means a lack of sweat, which leads to a body’s inability to wash away excess dirt and oil accumulated throughout the day. If you want to stave off breakouts, your first recourse should be to drink more water.

3. You’re Overly Thirsty

We went over dry mouth already, but thirst goes beyond a desert-like tongue. Anyone who’s ever had a hangover can tell you that, upon waking up, your body just can’t get enough water. Alcohol dehydrates the entire body, and drinking water sends “YES PLEASE!” signals to the brain until your fluid levels get back to baseline. Listen to what your body is telling you; it knows what it’s talking about!

4. Your Eyes Are Dry

By now it should be clear that drinking water affects more than just your mouth and throat. A lack of water intake leads to dry, bloodshot eyes (again, think of that last pounding hangover). Without water in the body,your tear ducts dry up. If you’re thinking “So what if I can’t cry?”, realize that this could cause much more harm to your eyes, especially if you wear contacts on a daily basis.

5. You Experience Joint Pain

Our cartilage and spinal discs are made up of about 80% water. This is an absolute necessity to keep our bones from grinding against each other with every step we take. By keeping your body hydrated, you ensure that your joints can absorb the shock of sudden movements, such as running, jumping, or falling awkwardly.

6. Your Muscle Mass Decreases

Your muscles, also, are comprised mostly of water. Obviously, less water in the body means less muscle mass. Drinking water before, during, and after a workout not only keeps you hydrated and comfortable, it also brings water to the right places in your body, and decreases the chance of developing inflammation and soreness related to exercise and weightlifting.

7. You Stay Sick Longer

Drinking water allows your body to continuously flush out toxins. Your organs work to filter our certain waste products like a machine, but if you don’t fuel the machine with water, it cannot work properly. What ends up happening in a dehydrated body is organs start to pull water from stored areas like your blood, which leads to a whole new set of problems.

8. You Feel Fatigued and Lethargic

As we just mentioned, when a body is dehydrated it “borrows” water from your blood. A lack of properly hydrated blood leads to a lack of oxygen being brought throughout the body. Of course, a lack of oxygen leads tosleepiness and outright fatigue. A lack of stamina means you”ll start to experience that 2PM crash earlier and earlier in your day (and remember, coffee won’t help in the long run).

9. You Experience Hunger Pangs

When you’re dehydrated, your body might start to think it needs some food. This happens throughout the day, and overnight when you wake up craving that midnight snack. However, eating food creates more work for your body, whereas drinking water purifies and your organs and supplies it with the fuel it needs to go through the other processes a body goes through.

10. You Experience Digestive Problems

We spoke before about the mucus in our mouth and throat, and how keeping hydrated allows the membrane to function correctly. This also applies to the entire digestive system. Without proper hydration, the amount and strength of mucus in the stomach lessens, allowing stomach acid to do some major damage to your insides. This leads to what we commonly refer to as heartburn and indigestion.

11. You Experience Constipation

Like we said, staying hydrated helps lubricate the digestive system. During the process of dehydration, the colon uses up the water that would have been used by the intestines in the next step of the digestive process. Without going into too much detail, I’ll let you figure out what a lack of lubricant in the intestines leads to.

12. You Experience Reduced Urination

Believe it or not, if you’re not taking a trip to the restroom 4-7 times a day, you’re probably not drinking enough water. And when you do go #1, it should be a light yellow or clear color. If it’s a darker yellow, your body is telling you it’s lacking proper hydration. In extreme cases, dehydration can lead to urinary tract infections, in which case you should consult a doctor right away.

13. You Experience Premature Aging

The amount of water our bodies retain naturally decreases as we age. Obviously, what this means is that, as we get older, we should consciously increase our water intake. While premature aging is more evident on the outside, the damage it does to our insides will ultimately be felt over time. To decrease the risk of running your body raw, it’s important to continue to drink water throughout your lifetime.

14. You’re Reading This And Have Gotten This Far

I drink water all the time. I almost always have a glass or bottle of water next to me, whether I’m working, working out, or vegging out in front of the TV. If you clicked on this article, chances are you thought to yourself “Hm, I don’t think I drink enough water.” So if you don’t think you do, pour a glass right now! Check out some in-depth details on the best water purifiers in India and buy one to make your water a pure as possible. This will make sure you’re getting rid of nasty chemicals and contaminants from your water.
Don’t overdo it, of course, but if you’re not getting the recommended amount (which is higher than you’d think), there’s no harm in drinking more. Now if you’ll excuse me, all this typing has made me thirsty.